I feel my heart shattering in my chest as she throws on her boots and reaches for her bag. As much as I know she needs to go, I don’t want her to. She heads for the door, but then stops to turn around and throw something. Whatever it was hits the wall before she buries her face in her hands and shakes her head.
“Do you even know what pain feels like, Hemy?” Her jaw clenches as I stare at her. “Well, do you? Do you even feel pain?”
“Oh, I feel it alright. That burning sensation deep down inside that feels as if my heart is dying, being crushed.” I look up from the ground and right into her eyes. “I felt it the minute you walked out my damn door.”
She stands there, unable to say anything, before turning around and walking out the door, slamming it closed behind her. I have no one to blame but myself. I did this to her . . . to us.
It just means I need to work harder to show her the new me.
IT’S BEEN FOUR DAYS SINCE I’ve seen Onyx and it’s taking everything in me not to go to Vixens’ and claim her as mine. As much as it hurts, she needs time. Me forcing her to admit her feelings isn’t going to do shit but make it worse on my part. I can’t have that.
Taking a drag of my cigarette, I tilt my head back up to look at Slade. He’s puffing on his own cigarette while texting Aspen. “You love her, man?”
Slade gives me a hard look before shoving his phone in his pocket and taking one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it. “With everything in me,” he says with confidence. “There’s not a thing I wouldn’t do for that woman.”
I can’t believe I’m even doing this right now. Going to Slade for advice was the last thing I thought I’d ever do. “What would you do if you hurt her so bad in the past that she was afraid to open up and let you back in? What if you told her you loved her for the first time and she walked away?”
Taking a step closer to me, he grips my shoulder and smirks. “My guy’s in love. This must be one badass chick.” He shoves my shoulder before placing me in a headlock and rubbing the top of my head. “You’ve been holding out on me, my man.”
I take one last drag of my cigarette as he releases my neck. “Yeah, she’s badass. She’s my first and only love, man. I fucked up bad and I’m paying for it now.” I toss my cigarette and take a deep breath before quickly releasing it. “I’m trying to be patient, man. It’s been four days and I haven’t heard shit.” I steel my jaw while leaning into the building and digging my fingers into it. “How much time should I give her?”
Without hesitation, he answers, “You know me, man. When I want something I go after it, sometimes a little too hard. If it’s love, then you need to let her know that you’re not going anywhere. Let her know you want her without pushing her away. You get me?”
I nod my head, getting what he means. I can still let her know I’m not going anywhere without being too pushy. My shift is almost over for the night, so as soon as I’m out, I’m going straight to Vixens’.
“Hemy.”
We both look over at the sound of Sarah’s voice. “The group dance is up next. You better hurry and get your fine ass in there.” She smiles at Slade before shoving his shoulder. “Your woman is at the bar waiting on you. You better hurry before someone else snags her sexy ass up.”
Oh boy. She just had to go there.
Without hesitation, Slade stalks off, rushing inside to his woman. He knows damn well he has nothing to worry about with Aspen, but he’s still so damn protective. He reminds me a lot of myself. When we find that special woman, we’ll do anything for her. I just wish I wasn’t too late.
“Thanks, Sarah.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just hurry your ass up,” she teases.
IF THERE’S ANYTHING THAT I hate, it’s doing a stupid dance routine on stage. It involves costumes and all of us men putting a dance together. It makes us all feel like fucking idiots. That’s why we only set up a dance routine once a month. It’s the one thing that some of the women travel to see. It’s the biggest night of every month, packed to maximum capacity.
Adjusting my tie, I laugh at Stone as he jumps up on a table and thrusts his hips while gripping onto his hat and tilting it down, over his face. “Man, I’m such a stud in a suit.”
“Is that right, asshole?” Cale asks.
“Um . . . fuck yeah,” Stone replies while jumping down from the table. “Don’t get mad when I get all the tips. I have this routine down pat, bros.”
“Alright, stud.” I slap the back of his head before reaching for my black hat and putting it on, tilting it a bit to the side. “This is the biggest crowd you’ll see for a while, so you better show them Slade’s not around anymore. A lot of them come just for that motherfucker.”