Walk Of Shame(80)

I have no idea how I’m going to be able to hang out with him without wanting him. That’s why I have to be careful. I have to do whatever I can to keep him at a distance, and to keep my heart safe. The kiss that he surprised me with still has my heart beating wild and my legs trembling. It was all too familiar and reminded me of what I’ve been missing.

“You can do this,” I whisper while looking into the mirror. “You’ll just go there and feel him out.” I grip the sink and close my eyes.

I need to do this. The only problem is, I have no idea what he has planned. Hemy is wild. If he thinks I want a threesome with him and another man, he’ll find a way to make it happen. He has a way of getting anything that he wants. He’s better at this than I am. That’s why I have to push back and not give him the alone time he needs to win me back. If he wants me physically, the only way I’ll be safe is by making him share me. Once he gets me alone, he wins.

I open my eyes and take a deep breath as the bathroom door pushes open to Ash peeking in. Her dark curls fall over her shoulders when she smiles. “Hey,” she whispers.

I force a smile and choke back my emotions. I know I’m doing the right thing. “Hey, sweetie,” I reply. “You do good on tips tonight,” I ask as a distraction.

She pushes the door open and leans against the frame. “I did great on tips.” She looks me over and frowns. I guess the distraction didn’t work. “What’s been up with you tonight? You’ve been acting strange. Is everything alright?”

Not really. Not yet. “I’m good,” I lie. “I’m just feeling a little off tonight.” I push away from the sink and turn to walk toward the door. “There’s an old friend of mine that I haven’t seen in a while. It’s just bringing back a lot of old memories.”

She smiles in understanding and nods her head. “Memories are the last thing I want to think about. Hopefully yours are a lot better than mine.”

I run my hands over my dress to dry my sweaty hands. If only she knew. “Some are good.” I smile. “I’m heading out for a while. I’ll be back.”

She takes a step back, allowing me to walk through the door. “Onyx.” I stop and turn around. “Will I get to meet this old friend?”

I swallow and nod my head. “Someday.”

I turn and walk to the door as fast as I can.

I hope I’m strong enough to do this . . .



NICO ARRIVED ABOUT AN HOUR ago. Of course he is always down to do whatever I ask. It’s been that way since the day I met him. It’s nice having someone you can rely on.

“You want another beer, man?”

I tilt my head to look at Nico. He’s standing by the fridge, dressed up in a black button down and dark jeans with his light hair styled back. He can hold his own when it comes to physical attributes. Getting girls is never a problem for him. I have no doubt that he won’t please Onyx. The thought kills me, but I won’t let it win and bring me down. I will smolder it on contact. She needs this. I need to give it to her, so maybe we can move on from the past. People like to say not to get even, but it’s the only way to lay things to rest.

“Nah. I’m good.”

My heart jumps to my throat when I see a car pull up in front of the house. I knew she would show. The question was when. It’s already past three a.m. Not that it matters. She’s here and that’s what counts. It just gives me the confirmation that a part of her still wants me. Whether it’s just physical, emotional, or both, I will find out soon enough. Time. Just a little more time.

A light knock sounds at the door, causing Nico to set his beer down and lift his eyebrows. “She’s here, man.”

“Yeah,” I whisper to myself. “Let her in. Just remember what I said. Don’t push the limits,” I say firmly.

I walk to the bathroom and close the door behind me. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. I’m already fighting the urge to crush Nico for touching her. I never was one for sharing. That’s what makes it even harder knowing that she felt like she had to. Being sober makes it easy to feel what she must have, and brings it all forth to the light. I hate myself for always keeping her in the dark.

I take a deep breath and slowly exhale as I hear their voices in the distance. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but I can hear the tone in Nico’s voice. He’s getting himself ready and easing her in for what’s to come.

“Fuck.” I hit the sink before leaning into it and resting my head against the mirror. “Don’t be a pussy. This is for her. She deserves this,” I tell myself. I need to get this over with, and fast. No putting it off. It’s time to get straight to the meaning of this visit and show her I’m willing to fight for her this time. No pussying out.