I’ve been pacing around my living room with a beer in hand for the last three hours, trying to drown out the damn noise in my head. Nothing has been working. “Shit!”
I’m just pulling out another beer when I hear the front door open, so I pull out three beers instead. Sage and Stone have been spending a lot of time together and I need to keep my eye on that slick motherfucker. I won’t hesitate to hand him his ass.
“Yo!” Stone calls out while stepping into the kitchen, instantly spotting the three bottles of beer with a grin. “This is why I love you so damn much, man. Always looking out when a brother is thirsty.”
I slap him upside the back of the head as he reaches for a beer and pops the top. “Where’s Sage?”
He lets out a sigh and quickly takes a drink of his beer. He’s hesitant for a moment before he replies. “With Onyx. They’ve been talking a lot. She’s meeting me here in twenty.” He takes another drink of beer before setting it down and focusing his attention on me. “That girl loves you, man. I know what she did hurt you, but you have to look at it from her point of view too, man.”
I take a gulp of my beer and clench my jaw. “Keep talking.” Maybe I need this.
“Alright then. The truth hurts, but . . . from what I’ve heard, you had a lot of fucking issues. You were never really here.” He points to his head and looks me in the eyes. “You can’t expect her to risk hurting someone she cares about by bringing them into your sick fucked up world. I know you’re not like that anymore, but for someone that experienced it every day for ten years, it’s a little harder to convince. You ripped that girl’s heart out and stomped on it and she still brought your sister back in hopes that you would be able to meet her one day. She just wanted to make sure the time was right for all of you; not just her, or you, but all three of you. You can’t be mad at that, man. That’s a good ass woman.”
I close my eyes and run my hands through my hair, lost in thought. He’s fucking right and hearing someone say it out loud really opens my eyes. She was there for me every fucking time I needed someone.
“You don’t have to fucking tell me. She’s the best woman I’ve ever known.” I pause to let out a sigh. “I’ll never forget that shit.”
She’s always done what she felt was best. This isn’t any different. If I would have gotten Sage back while I was high out of my mind and always fucked up, then I would have probably lost her for good, just like everyone else; her and Onyx. Maybe I can’t blame Onyx for being as cautious as she was. Maybe, I should be blaming myself and thanking Onyx. I always was the one to fuck shit up. Still am.
“I fucked up real bad, man. I’m not proud of the things I did one bit. I had a lot of shit I was dealing with and I couldn’t handle it without getting out of my head.” I open my eyes and grip onto the counter, realizing that I’m the one that fucked up once again. “I need to go find her. Fuck, I can’t live without her. I’ve loved her since the day she attacked me in the alley with a hug. I fell in love with that girl and it took me what seems like an eternity to figure that out. It might be too late now. Fuck me!”
Gripping my shoulder, Stone nods his head in understanding. “Better late than never, asshole,” he says jokingly. “Never too late, not when you have the kind of love you two have. I have heard it all, man. Now, I’m no mushy pussy or anything, but it’s real, bro. Even I can see that.”
Shaking off Stone’s grip, I pace around the kitchen, trying to get my thoughts in check. I really can’t fuck this shit up again. At some point I’m going to be out of chances. No one gives an unlimited supply. I need to let things go and chase after what makes me happy. That has always been her. Always will be.
“I need to go.” I rush past Stone and through the living room, slipping on my leather jacket. “Tell me where she lives.”
He hesitates.
“Now dammit!”
“Uhh . . .” He closes his eyes in thought for a moment. “1623 Spring Drive.” I open the door and get ready to walk out. “Dude, you want me to go with?” he asks.
I turn back around. “Nah. I need to do this alone.” I give him a nod. “Thanks, man.” Then, I turn around and rush out the door, jumping in my truck.
I’m about two blocks away from Onyx’s street when it starts pouring outside. It’s coming down so hard that it’s making it hard to see out the window. “Fuck! Please be here.” I pull up in front of the house and jump out, leaving my truck running. I don’t want to waste anymore time being away from her. I can’t do it.