Walk Of Shame(102)

Sage lets out a strangled cry before falling down to her knees and covering her face. “This can’t be happening. I don’t . . .” She sucks in a breath. “I don’t know what to say. I’ve wondered about you my whole life.” She shakes her head and cries harder. “Tyler . . .”

Falling down on my knees next to her, I pull her into my arms and press her face into my shoulder as she cries. Holding her next to me makes me want to bawl like a baby, but I fight it. It’s so damn hard. I let a few tears fall as the anger and relief floods through me. I’m relieved to have Sage in my life, but angry as hell that Onyx would do this to me when she knows how badly I’ve been hurting.

I look up to the sound of Stone’s voice. “Holy shit. I’m going to go and give you all some time. I don’t need to be here for this. Sorry, man.”

I nod my head and pull Sage closer as she wraps her arms around me, her whole body in a shaking mess. “I’m never letting you out of my damn sight again.” She lets out something between a cry and a laugh and I can’t help but to smile. “I mean that, Sage. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you. I love you so damn much.”

Her grip on me tightens, but she doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t have to. It may take her a while to remember me as much as I remember her and that’s okay. I’ll give her as much time as she needs, but she’s not leaving Chicago. Her home is with me, like it should have been over ten years ago.

After what seems like a lifetime, Sage pulls away and looks at my face. She lets one last tear roll down her face before reaching for my hair. “This hair,” she says with a laugh. “I think my big brother needs a haircut.”

I let out a small laugh and help her up to her feet. I still can’t believe she is here and standing in my damn house. The feeling is so surreal.

We both stand here for a moment, taking each other in with smiles before turning to find Onyx pacing around the living room. She’s biting her nails and shaking as the tears pour out.

As much as I want to hold her and tell her that it’s okay, it really isn’t. She just made the worst mistake of her life and it’s going to take a while for me to get over this. It doesn’t matter what her reasoning is. She hurt me, knowing that she was, and in the worst way possible.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s all I can say. You don’t think I wanted to tell you? I did. Trust me, I did.” Onyx walks over to us and looks between the both of us. “I love you both so much,” she cries. “I never meant to hurt anyone, but you have to understand that Hemy is a different person than the one I knew years ago. I couldn’t put you through what I had to go through. That’s all I can say. I was going to tell you as soon as I knew things were different for real this time.” She sucks in a breath and walks past us. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what to fucking say,” I seethe. “I trusted you.”

She swallows hard and fights back more tears. “I’m going, just please don’t hate me. I can’t survive knowing you hate me.”

Exhaling, I watch as Onyx walks down the hall and disappears into my bedroom. I’m so fucking mad right now that if I open my mouth again I will probably say something I will regret forever.

So . . . I just watch as she walks away . . . again.





IT’S BEEN THREE WEEKS SINCE I found out Ash was really Sage and I watched as Onyx walked out of my life again. Not a second has gone by that I haven’t thought of her and missed the shit out of her. I have wanted to call her so many times and tell her I forgive her and I understand why she did it, but the pain is still too fresh. As far as I know, she has known about Sage for over a year, over a fucking year. How am I just supposed to forget about that?

A part of me knows that she didn’t find me right away because she was scared of getting hurt again and didn’t know if she’d be able to handle being around me without losing control, but it hurts like hell. I could have had Sage back in my life that whole damn time. I just can’t get over that as much as I want to.

Everything has changed in the last few weeks and besides not having Onyx in my life, things have been good. Sage has been staying with me and I spend most of my time at Mitch’s shop instead of at the club. I’ve told the boys I will stay on for two days a week until they can find someone else to take over. After that, I will stay and bartend. I guess I’m pulling a Slade.

It didn’t take long for me and Sage to get comfortable with each other again and we have actually been spending a lot of time together talking about our childhood; only the good stuff though, I’m not reminding her of the all the fucked up shit our parents did to us. She doesn’t deserve that and I won’t put her through it.