Waking Up Pregnant(92)

                “A date, like I want to make you fall in love with me, date,” Jeff answered, his voice steady even as he stared at his hands. “And okay, so that’s maybe a lot of pressure up front, but I’m through telling you all I want is one thing, when the truth is I want everything. I want you to marry me, but I get—”

                “Why? So you can be with our child each night?” The words burst past her lips, not in accusation but because she just needed to know. “It’s okay if that’s why....”

                He met her eyes and what she saw in his stole her breath, made her grip the counter tighter still. Not to hold herself back—but to hold herself up. Because what she saw when he looked at her like that was enough to floor her completely.

                “Because I love you.”

                Her lips parted, but whatever words she’d thought to say or breath she’d meant to take didn’t come. All she could do was stare, wait for whatever he had to say next. Because she couldn’t believe him yet. She was terrified and yet some part of her must have made the decision to do just that, because suddenly she wasn’t holding on to the counter anymore. She was crossing the kitchen to the man who was staring at her like he’d just witnessed a miracle.

                And then she was standing in the V of his legs, her hands were in the gorgeous unruly mess of his hair, her breath coming in broken little gasps.

                “You love me?”

                He swallowed and offered her a nod. “I think I have from the very first night, Darcy, I just couldn’t let myself admit it. When I realized you were gone in Vegas—it rocked me. But I tried to tell myself it was no big deal. It couldn’t be. We’d just met. I’d forget about you. Only instead of forgetting, I kept thinking about you. Wondering how I could have misjudged what was going on between us so badly.”

                “I’m so sorry,” she started, wishing again she could go back, wondering how differently things would have gone if she’d stayed. If they’d kept in touch. “I was afraid of what you made me feel after we’d agreed to what kind of night it would be.”

                “I know, sweetheart. But at the time, and even after we were together again, I kept thinking this is a woman who leaves. A woman who keeps putting her hand up and telling me not to get any closer. And even though it didn’t keep me from pushing past those boundaries we kept agreeing to...it was enough for me to use as an excuse to keep from owning up to the truth. That first night with you changed something in me, made me want more than I’d been settling for in my relationships.”

                “And you found Olivia.”

                “She seemed like such a smart fit...except for the part where she wasn’t you.”

                Darcy buried her head against Jeff’s shoulder, holding on to him so tight. “Everything I heard about her, she was different from me. And everyone said you two were serious. Perfect for each other. That it was just a matter of time. And all I could think was she was everything I wasn’t. I couldn’t see myself as anything but a sacrifice so you could make your family work.”

                “No. I shouldn’t have said it. I shouldn’t have tried to make either of us believe it.”

                She wrapped her arms around his neck and stared into his eyes.

                “So you really love me?”

                “I really do.”

                “That’s good. Because I’ve been falling for you from the start, and no matter how I’ve tried to stop it...nothing could. I love you, too.”