Waking Up Married(65)
Connor’s expression hardened. “I never lied to you.”
“Please. Thirteen days? And what about the wanting different things. The realization you weren’t right for each other. You made it sound like a loss of interest, when in fact it was the very opposite. She’d fallen in love with you!”
“I didn’t know— Damn it, she said—”
“Forget what she said, Connor! Anyone looking at her could see how she felt. Like apparently anyone looking at me can see the way I feel. She certainly did.”
His mouth snapped shut, his eyes losing the blaze of conflict altogether as his head began a slow shake of denial. “Megan. No—”
“Relax, Connor. I already know I made a mistake.”
“Megan—” Connor raked a hand through his hair, grabbed a fistful of it at the base of his skull and then shook out his hands.
What could he say?
Damn it, the look on Megan’s face earlier that night. She’d been trying so hard to compose herself, to keep it together, but the hurt he’d seen in her eyes... It went hand in hand with the watery emotion he’d seen the night she’d offered her commitment. It was everything he’d wanted to avoid. Everything he’d told her to avoid.
“What happened with Caroline was over before you and I even met.”
“I heard. By thirteen days.”
“Yes. Not that it should have mattered if it was thirteen hours,” he retorted. “This marriage is an arrangement between like-minded parties. It’s a partnership, not a love affair. I never lied to you or kept anything of importance from you.”
She looked at him then, almost stunned, as if she didn’t recognize him.
He didn’t like it. Not at all. She knew him already, understood him. What was happening tonight didn’t change anything.
“No. You didn’t. I’m the one who wasn’t honest.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he snapped.
“Don’t worry, Connor. The only person I lied to was myself.”
He should have let her go, but when she turned to walk away, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching for her arm. “This doesn’t change anything, Megan. All the reasons we make sense are still the same.”
Her eyes went to the spot where his hand circled the bare skin of her arm. “Have you stopped to consider, Connor, that you’ve been so fixated on showing me all the reasons this marriage could work, you haven’t really let yourself see the reasons it might not?”
“No,” he said more harshly than he’d intended. Then, grasping for the understanding he knew she deserved, he tried again. “Megan, you’re upset. Hurt. Embarrassed. I get it. But you’re too smart to let one night dictate your future.”
“You’re right. I am too smart to let a single night of discomfort get in the way of something real. Of course, we’re not talking about a single night, just like we aren’t talking about something real. So don’t even pretend we are.”
Stiffening, he took a step back. “Say it.”
Say it so he could start working her back from this place he wasn’t going to let them go.
Her shoulders squared. “I can’t be the wife you want.”
Too late. “You already are.”
“Then maybe it’s not me at all. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you aren’t the husband I want.”
His hand slid from her arm, all the arguments he’d been ready to throw at her suddenly abandoning him.
They were too right together. They made too much sense.
It was all this damn emotion he’d made it a point to avoid his whole life mucking everything up.
What they needed was some perspective.
“Let’s not do anything rash, okay? You need some space. Why don’t I get a suit and head to the office. I’ve got a call tonight anyway. I’ll stay there. You think. And then tomorrow night we’ll talk.”
Megan’s desolate gaze returned to his, and after a pause, she offered him a single nod.
* * *
They would be fine.