Waking Olivia(31)

Brendan's eyes seem to twinkle slightly less. "He used to be my best  friend," he says. "I still don't know what the hell happened."





43





Will



Saturday gets off to a rollicking start.

First there's my brother, who's been sniffing around Olivia like a dog  in heat since the minute she got out of my truck. Then I'm stuck on  campus for hours because of visiting day, knowing that Brendan is  probably going to be humping her leg the entire time I'm gone while I'm  stuck here remembering last night, the way she pressed herself against  me and my reaction. Christ, you could probably see my hard-on from  space.

And lastly there's Jessica, who got royally pissed off last night when I  told her I was sleeping at my mom's. "It's ridiculous that you're  sleeping on the couch at your mother's," she argued. "Olivia should find  a family of her own."

Jessica, with her doting parents and her siblings and their annual ski  trips and beach trips and group photos, telling me that the little we  can offer Olivia is too much.

"Her only family member has Alzheimer's, so where exactly do you suggest she go find one? Because I'm sure she'd be all ears."

She exhaled in exasperation. "You know what I'm saying, Will. You don't  have to be the only person in her life. You've already gone above and  beyond for this girl, but the charity has to end at some point."

I stared at her then as if I'd never seen her before, except the truth  was that I had seen it. All through high school I'd seen it, but somehow  I'd allowed my father's opinion to supersede my own. He saw her as a  nice girl. She was a cheerleader, the homecoming queen, while I was the  kid routinely handcuffed in the back of a police car. He must have  suggested a hundred times that if I cleaned up my act, I could wind up  with someone like her.

Of course, I'd wound up with her already, on the floor of someone's  bedroom during a party I don't even remember, but I didn't tell him  that. I barely remembered the sex, to be honest, only the aftermath. She  spent the next year suggesting I come over when her parents weren't  home, inviting me by myself to her parents' lake house and then getting  pissed off when I turned her down. But for years after, my dad would  say, "Now that Jessica Harper. That's a girl you settle down with."                       
       
           


///
       

I'm not sure he'd stand by that statement if he could hear her right  now. And maybe deferring to the opinion of someone who never really knew  her doesn't make a whole lot of sense.



I pick Jessica up on the way back from campus. Honestly, I don't want  her at the farm and I really don't want her around Olivia, but what  choice do I have? If we go out tonight, I'm giving my asshole brother  unfettered access to Olivia. Not fucking happening.

Jessica shouts from the bedroom that she's almost ready, but then she  peeks her head out. "Come sit in here," she says suggestively. "We have  plenty of time until dinner."

I shake my head, avoiding her eye as I turn on the TV. "My mom asked me  to hurry back." It's a lie, but right now the last thing in the world I  want to do is sleep with Jessica.

She pouts. "Five minutes?"

"I'm gonna watch the game," I say, without looking back at her.

Olivia is out when we get to the farm. Brendan, naturally, is sitting on  the couch watching football, not a care in the world. In moments like  this, when I think about the two jobs I'm working to keep him fed and in  school, I understand my father's anger toward me. He'd expected me to  put the family first, begin to take on some of the weight, and like the  selfish little prick I was, I looked at the farm and the trouble he had  and couldn't run fast enough.

Jessica goes to look for my mom so I sit in the chair across from him, and attempt civility. "So how's school?"

He shrugs. "How's having two girlfriends?"

"I don't have two girlfriends," I exhale testily.

"Sure you don't, Saint Will," he smirks. "I've never seen a guy check  out a girl's ass as often as you did hers last night, but yeah, nothing  going on there at all."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Cool. Because if you're not in those pants, I'd like to be, so I'm going to take my shot."

I feel like I can't breathe. The idea of him with Olivia is far too easy  to imagine. They looked like a couple at the bar last night, and when  he grabbed her ass, it was only Jessica's presence that kept me from  violently detaching his hand.

"I told you this already. She's off limits."

"I know what you said," he laughs, "and I decided I don't give a shit.  Tell Mom I got busted. Get her all upset just for no reason other than  the fact that you want to keep Olivia to yourself. You don't get to  decide who she goes out with."

No, but I shouldn't have to watch it when it happens. "She can do what  she wants," I reply. "But as long as I'm paying the bills, you can't."

"Congratulations, Will," he says bitterly, rising to his feet. "You've turned into Dad."

He's right and at the moment I don't fucking care. He's got everything  else-free to do what he wants, no responsibility for the farm. He  doesn't get Olivia too.





44





Olivia



I hate Jessica.

I thought I hated Betsy, but it turns out my feelings toward her are  something more like mild irritation compared with what I feel toward  Will's girlfriend. And the thing is, she isn't doing anything wrong  tonight, not on the surface anyway. But I hate her for sitting on Will's  lap before dinner. I hate the way she runs her thumb over his wrist and  how he almost unconsciously wraps a hand around her waist. I hate that  there's something triumphant on her face when she does it, something  directed at me though she's not even looking my way.

When we hear Will laughing in the kitchen with Dorothy, Brendan rolls  his eyes. "I guess he found his happy pills or something. He's been a  moody fucker all weekend," he says.

Jessica winks at both of us. "He just had to work off a little steam earlier, if you know what I mean."

Bitch.

"Maybe I'll start visiting him during the day at work." She smiles at me. "You know, to take the edge off."

That's when I no longer merely hate her but decide I'd like to see her  clinging to life. I want her just conscious enough to know it's me  pulling the plug.

I make it through the night with a great deal of jaw clenching and tight  fists, and only begin to relax when they rise to leave. "Hey," she  says, pulling me aside when Will leaves the room, "I just wanted to say  I'm sorry about your brother."

I nod. She isn't the least bit sorry. How Will hasn't seen through her crap is beyond me.

"So I hate to be the one telling you this," she continues, "but the  Langstroms really aren't in a position to be helping anyone out right  now. Things are tough for them and I'm just not sure they can handle the  extra strain."                       
       
           


///
       

"I haven't been asking them for help."

"No, you know what I mean, emotional help, stability," she says. "They  can't be your substitute family right now. They've got enough of their  own stuff to deal with. Dorothy and Will would never tell you that, of  course, but it's pretty obvious, isn't it?"

I hate every word out of her mouth, but I hate even more that she is probably right.





45





Will



I showed up on the track Monday morning with a premonition that it would be a bad week and I was correct.

First there's Olivia, who shows up each morning a little more stressed  out and hollowed-eyed than I've seen her. With every success, her  anxiety grows. The number of people who now expect her to win has  increased exponentially, and there's a world of difference between  pleasantly surprising everyone with a success and people assuming it.  I'm just not sure why it's hitting her so much harder now.

Then there's Betsy, who has a talent for finding anyone's vulnerable spot and stabbing it with the sharpest thing within reach.

"You know," she says to Olivia, "if you don't take first next week, we won't get into regionals."

"Maybe if you were a little faster, it wouldn't all be on my shoulders."  Olivia smirks, but there's an echo of fear behind it. I was never a fan  of Betsy's, but now I loathe her and it's a struggle to hide it.

As if that weren't enough, the arrangements for the meet in Wyoming are a  mess. The people I hired to help us bring in the corn and soybeans say  they're behind and I've got Jessica getting clingier by the day. She  showed up on the track of all places, even after I specifically told her  not to.