Waiting for You(59)

She took over, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, feeling his heart pounding when she touched his bare chest and listening to his breath turn raspy as she moved lower. He lifted himself up so she could pull the shirt off and toss it onto the floor, and then he lay back down again.

She unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down his hips along with his boxers. Once they were on the floor she looked at him, at all that raw power waiting for her to make a move, and then she slipped out of her pants and underwear, reveling in the look on his face as he took her in, head to toe.

Erin sank back down on the couch and crawled slowly up his body, her knees on either side of him. Then she hesitated. As fevered with desire as she was, this was only her second time and she wasn’t sure what to do next.

Jake wasn’t suffering under any such handicap. He stroked his erection against her, groaning when he felt how wet she was.

Then he guided her over him and helped her take him in, slowly, and waves of pleasure spiraled out from her center as he stretched her, filling her, until at last he was all the way home.

Her knees tightened around his hips and she leaned forward, putting her hands flat on his chest and looking into his eyes.

He was breathing hard, the muscles in his jaw tense. He whispered her name.

She raised herself up and sank down, and his eyes closed. She did it again and his neck muscles corded. Then he put his hands on her hips, urging her on, and she saw sweat break out on his forehead as she moved faster.

His eyes opened. His expression was fierce, intense, and a tremor started deep inside as the pressure began to build. She was panting now, her eyes locked with his. His hands slid up from her hips to cup her breasts and the sensation made her cry out.

Then she cried out again, and again, surging against Jake as the explosion burst over her in dizzying waves. A moment later she heard him call out her name as he pulsed inside her.

There was an endless moment when the world seemed to be one joyous tumult of color and light. Then she felt Jake’s hands on her hips again, guiding her off his body and pulling her down, shifting them so she was lying on her side, her head on his chest and her baby bump between them.

Her heart was still pounding.

He pulled the blanket off the floor and tucked it around them. And in that moment of utter contentment, of joy that seemed to pulse around her and through her, she said the words that were in her heart.

“Jake, I love you.”

She spoke softly, but she knew he heard her. She knew, because he froze instantly, as if his body had turned to granite.

Oh, God.

She waited for what felt like forever, just in case.

But he didn’t say anything.

She wanted to pull away from him and run upstairs. She wanted to burrow into her bed and hide under the covers, and pretend it hadn’t happened—that she’d hadn’t said those words out loud.

She wanted to punish Jake for not saying them back to her. For not being in love with her. She wanted to kick him out of her house and tell him never to come back.

But she didn’t do any of those things. This was her own damn fault, and she wasn’t going to punish Jake because she’d made a fool of herself again. And for the sake of what was left of her pride, she wasn’t going to let him know how much his silence devastated her.

So she lay there for a while longer, while every drop of joy and peace drained out of her. Then she used Jake’s body for leverage as she sat up and looked at him. His face looked tense and unhappy.

“That was amazing, but I think I’m going to head up to bed now.” She was proud of herself for sounding so calm. “You can let yourself out, right?”

He stared at her for a minute, his eyes searching hers. Then he just nodded. “If that’s what you want.” He looked away. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

It seemed impossible that just minutes ago she’d felt closer to Jake than she’d ever felt to anyone in her life.

Jake sat up so she could get off the couch more easily, and she picked up her clothes before walking naked up the stairs. She didn’t feel self-conscious at all, even though she knew he was watching her. She was too numb to feel anything.

She’d offered Jake her heart—the one thing she’d sworn she’d never do.

She closed her bedroom door behind her and took a deep breath. She felt bruised, as if she’d just gone twelve rounds in the boxing ring. But at least it was over now.

And it would never happen again.





Chapter Thirteen


The week before Christmas, Erin heard Jake’s truck pull up when she was still in bed. When she went to the window she saw him unloading a six foot Douglas fir tree.

She raised the sash and the rush of cold air made her shiver. “What in the world is that?” she called down to him.