Waiting for You(45)

He wanted to talk to her.

“Is it hard to be there, with your friend’s family?” Erin asked. “Does it remind you of…things?”

He wasn’t surprised she was worried about that, considering she’d been there for one of his nightmares.

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad I’m here. For Angie and Paul, and for me, too.” He hesitated. “I think it’s time I started to deal with some of my crap. Being here is helping with that.”

There was a silence. “Jake, that’s great. How long…how long do you think you’ll be there?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve got a room in one of those extended stay hotels, and I’m working part-time in a garage in San Antonio. I’ll probably stay at least another month. After that, I might swing over into New Mexico, and then up to Colorado.”

“So…you’ll be gone a while, then.”

“Yeah.”

“It sounds like the trip is working out really well.”

“Yeah, it is. I’m glad I came.”

There was a short silence. Then—

“I meant to call you,” he heard himself say.

He wondered how many men had used that line over the years.

Erin, typically, cut right to the chase. “So why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I still felt bad about what happened, and the last time we talked was…I don’t know. Awkward. Do you think I’m a jerk?”

“No,” she said quietly. “I don’t think you’re a jerk. I think you’re in the place you need to be right now. I’m really happy for you, Jake.”

There was another silence. “So, what about you? What’s this big news of yours?” He took a firmer grip on the phone and braced himself.

“Oh. Well. I’ve decided to go ahead and buy my house.”

“Hey, that’s great!” Relief made him sound genuinely enthusiastic. “What made you take the leap?”

“Well...I’ve added a lot of new clients lately, and I finally figured I had enough in the bank to do it. So…I’m doing it.”

“Good for you, Erin. I think that’s fantastic.”

“Thanks.” She paused. “Well, it’s been really nice talking to you but I guess I’d better—”

“I miss you.” He hadn’t meant to say that, but he’d felt a sudden tightening in his chest when she’d started to end the call, and the words just came out.

“You do?” Her voice sounded uncertain, vulnerable, and for a moment he wished he was going back to Iowa tomorrow.

“Yeah. I do.”

Suddenly all he could think about was Erin naked, her hair tumbled around her shoulders and her creamy skin flushed with pleasure. The little sounds she made when she was close…the way her body arched into his as he thrust into her…

“Do you ever think about that night?” It was one more thing he hadn’t meant to say, and considering how the night had ended, his question was just as likely to bring up a bad memory as a good one.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Then she cleared her throat. “Someone’s at the door. I have to go.”

“Erin—”

But she had already hung up.


She was doing the right thing. She was sure of it. Jake was on his road, and she was on hers.

And she’d better get used to traveling alone.

Jake wasn’t the settle-down-and-raise-a-family type—at least not at this point in his life. And even if he were, he wouldn’t want to settle down with her. He obviously had no trouble at all being away from her. He hadn’t called once in the last month, and even though he’d said he missed her, the fact remained that she’d called him.

She’d called to tell him about the baby. But when she’d heard his voice, she’d chickened out. He sounded so good…like he was exactly where he needed to be. How could she pull him away from that? And if he really was starting to face his demons, the last thing he needed was another burden to deal with.

So she’d wait to tell him until she was closer to her due date, and give him the time he needed to travel. To be with his friend’s family. To heal.

It all sounded so simple in her head. And it stayed simple for the next month and a half, during the heat of August, when she told herself she didn’t really need to think about the baby just yet. Her body hadn’t changed much, and she was still wearing her regular clothes. There were times when she was busy with work that she actually forgot she was pregnant.

Whenever that happened, she felt a rush of guilt. How could she have forgotten the baby, even for a second? But worse than the guilt was the feeling of longing that sometimes followed…longing for the life she’d planned for herself, the life she’d never have now. A life that didn’t include being a single mother.