“All what? What shouldn’t I see?”
“Any of it.”
He didn’t invite her in but he didn’t seem in a hurry to send her away, either. When he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the doorjamb Erin stepped a little closer and took a breath.
Alcohol, definitely…along with the musty odor of stale sweat.
“Are you drunk?”
“I should be. I’ve been drinking for a while.”
He opened his eyes again and focused on her. Slowly, as if he couldn’t help himself, he reached up and touched the side of her face.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
Her breath caught in her throat. “I’d be more flattered by that if you were sober,” she said, ducking under his arm to enter his apartment.
There wasn’t a lot to see. It really was empty in here, with nothing more than a couch and a TV, a table and a chair by the wall, and a bookcase holding technical manuals.
Other than that, nothing. No pictures on the walls, no knick knacks or mementos anywhere. Nothing personal; no sign that the person who lived here had friends or family. If Jake ever decided to pack up and move he could be out of here in less than an hour.
It was a warm May night, but Erin shivered. She wished she’d known he was living like this. But even if she had, what would she have done about it? Started decorating Jake’s apartment and bringing over family photos? That would have gone over big.
She turned to face him. “What happened, Jake?”
He didn’t answer her question. He reached out and closed his hand over her ponytail, and before she could stop him he’d pulled off the elastic so that her hair fell tumbling around her shoulders.
His fingers combed through it once, like the night of Allison’s wedding. A wave of sensation shivered her skin.
“Do you remember your sweet sixteen party?” he asked. His hand was still in her hair, and she stiffened to keep from trembling. “I’d come home on leave the week before. The first time I saw you, you and Allison were going swimming at the lake. You were wearing these cutoff shorts and a blue bikini top…” He closed his eyes. “I felt like such a jerk for noticing. You were only sixteen, and I was leaving in two weeks.”
She swallowed. “Jake—”
“And then at your party.” His eyes opened again. “You were Allison’s friend…and so innocent. I knew it was wrong, but that didn’t stop me from kissing you.”
“Jake, you don’t—”
“You’re still innocent,” he said, his gaze tracing over her face. “And I still shouldn’t kiss you. But when I’m with you, it’s all I can think about.”
It was torture to listen to this. Her foolish heart was soaring, but she knew his defenses were only down because he was drunk. Once he was sober again, he’d regret saying all this to her.
She forced herself to take a step back. “What happened in the last twenty-four hours, Jake? Why did you blow off Mark and me?”
“You should go,” he said, and the bleak hopelessness in his voice was more than she could stand. She might not be able to sober him up but she could at least wake him up. And then he was going to talk to her, whether he liked it or not.
She grabbed his hand and led him towards the hallway.
His bedroom was on the left and a bathroom on the right. She stepped into the bathroom and pulled Jake in after her.
“What are you doing?” he asked, as she opened the glass doors of his shower. He didn’t sound very interested in the answer and he didn’t resist her when she guided him inside.
She closed the doors almost all the way, leaving enough space to reach in and turn on the cold water.
He yelled and sputtered, but as Erin had hoped, it was several seconds before he managed to turn the water off and slide open the door.
“What the hell?” he asked, glaring and dripping. He looked mad but his eyes were focused, so Erin was satisfied.
“Take a real shower now,” she said. “Hot or cold, whatever you want. While you’re doing that, I’m going to order a pizza.”
The annoyance faded from his expression. “I’m starving,” he said, as if just becoming aware of it.
“What do you want on it?”
“Everything.”
She nodded and left the bathroom, closing the door carefully behind her. She waited for a minute, listening. When she heard the water start up again, relief spread through her. Then she pulled out her cell phone to order the pizza as she headed for the kitchen.
There was no mess in here, either. An empty vodka bottle and an empty scotch bottle were side by side on his bare kitchen counter. Next to them was another bottle of scotch, three quarters full.