Mom had been suspiciously silent during the car ride and she’d yet to say something since Dad left. I really wished he were here. Without him, Mom and I would inevitably end up fighting. Sadly, the emergency at work would probably keep him busy most of the evening and perhaps even all night, so he wouldn’t save me from Mom’s interrogation.
“So,” she began in a casual tone. “You and Adrian?”
I turned. “What do you mean?”
She ignored the dogs that were whirling around her, probably hoping for more bacon. “I could tell that there is something between you two.”
“There’s nothing between us.” Not anymore. Not that there was ever anything meaningful between Adrian and me to begin with. Let me make it up to you. I couldn’t get his parting words out of my mind. Now they actually alternated with ‘I don’t do virgins’ in my head.
Mom ignored my denial and simply kept talking. “He is easy on the eyes, that’s for sure. And I hear he’s a very successful lawyer in a Manhattan law firm, so he’d definitely be a good catch too.” I could tell from the dreamy look on her face that she was already planning my bridal shower and the wedding.
“Mom,” I said. “There is nothing between Adrian and me.” I accentuated every word so my mother would get it this time. She stared at me, disappointment clear on her face. “Are you sure?”
No. I hesitated. “Yes.”
Mom’s lips twitched. “I knew it! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about him sooner.”
I let out a sigh, turned around and walked up the stairs slowly. Bruno followed at my heels but thankfully Mom got the hint. I entered my room and closed the door. Bruno tiptoed around me happily, his little eyes never leaving me. He was probably hungry. Bacon and whatever else my mom had given him throughout the day didn’t really constitute a healthy dog meal.
I stepped out of my ballerinas and pulled the cocktail dress over my head before slipping into comfortable clothes – a tank-top and sweatpants. I chanced a look at myself in the mirror and frowned. My skin was too pale and I was too thin. I had an A-cup, nothing to get excited about. My hair was thick and nice, and I liked my face, but my body certainly didn’t measure up to Adrian’s usual standards. His girls usually looked as if they could be Playboy bunnies. But Adrian had stared at my legs appreciatively, and the way he'd looked at me had made me feel beautiful. He'd even looked jealous of Chris. I didn't understand why.
He'd treated me horribly and now it seemed as if he was still interested in me. It didn't make sense. The only logical explanation for his behavior was guilt. He felt bad for how he'd acted and now he was trying to make up for it by acting nice. I hated being pitied and I certainly didn't want Adrian's pity.
I wanted him. I couldn't deny it. Even after everything, I wanted his adoration, his attention, his respect...his love. But not his pity. If pity was all he could give me, he could gladly keep it to himself.
I scowled at my reflection before leaving my bedroom and descending the staircase in hurried steps. Bruno shot past my legs and into the kitchen. He stopped in front of his feeding bowl. It was small and pink and had tiny white bones all around the rim. It looked adorable, but it didn't fit Bruno at all. He wasn't a lady dog after all. But as long as the bowl served its purpose to feed him, Bruno didn't mind.
He looked at me expectantly when I entered the kitchen and licked the bowl pathetically, as if he hadn't been fed in weeks. The TV was on in the living room, but I didn’t check to see if Mom was in there.
“Here you go.” I put a hand-full of dog food into the bowl and Bruno pounced on it as if he was starving. Within a minute, he'd scarfed down the food and sat down on his chubby butt to look at me.
“No more food, Bruno,” I told him. I made myself some coffee and sank down on a kitchen chair, sipping the hot liquid.
My thoughts kept revolving around Adrian and our chance meeting at the party. He'd been so gentlemanly and nice, and he'd looked very handsome. I was drawn to him like the moth to the light. But I'd seen enough moths burn and die when they came into contact with the light bulb to know the outcome of my draw to Adrian. I would only get hurt, even worse than I'd been hurt already. I had to stay away from Adrian and his sexy confident smiles.
I yawned. Bruno was still waiting in front of his feeding bowl, but I shook my head at him. Slowly I let my head drop to my arms that were crossed on the table. I stared out of the kitchen window at the stars.
When I'd first seen Adrian bang a girl, I'd wished the girl was me. In a way my wish had come true, though in a less pleasurable and fairytale-like way than I'd hoped it would. I'd hoped for romance and love, and words of adoration while making love. I still wanted that with Adrian, but I knew I could never have it. Not with Adrian.