Voyeur Extraordinaire(56)

“No, I mean outside the bathroom window.”

“I had a feeling I would find you here. You have a habit of running away.”

I narrowed my eyes.

He ran a hand through his hair and dropped his gaze to the ground, obviously searching for words. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say. Very likely not. Maybe I could just run even if that would prove Adrian’s point. With ballerinas my chances weren't too bad. I could reach the Toyota before him and lock myself into the car until the party was over. I'd outrun him before, and that had been with Bruno on my arm.

Very mature, Nora, honestly.

I hated the little voice in my head, but I listened to it, and didn't flee like a coward. I did however turn to walk away from him in a moderate pace. Unfortunately he looked up and began to speak. “I—I'm sorry, Nora.”

I froze. Not so much because of the apology, but because of the sincerity in his voice.

I opened my mouth to say something, though I wasn't yet sure what. Adrian raised a hand to stop me. “Please just let me say this.” His green eyes were pleading. I closed my mouth and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I was anxious, but I tried not to let it show.

It was difficult to look into his eyes and so I focused on his chin, pretending to keep eye-contact.

“I didn't mean what I said last night after...” He trailed off. I raised my gaze a fraction and dared him with my eyes to finish the sentence. I wasn't sure why I did it. I wasn't keen on hearing him say it aloud. Maybe I was indeed a masochist.

I'd never seen him so uncomfortable and uncertain. It was nice to see him squirm. He twisted his hands in his hair and took a deep breath. “I was shocked, and the words didn't come out right.”

The words didn't come out right? That's one way to put it. I don't do virgins.

I didn't allow myself to cry over this again, especially not in front of him. “Your words were pretty clear,” I said bitterly. I'd tried to sound calm, obviously I'd failed.

Adrian's face was pulled into a grimace and his eyes were filled with frustration. “No, I didn't mean it like that...I...if I'd known that you've never...” I could tell that he was trying to choose his words carefully. “...been with a man, I would have never done it. I've always been with women who knew what awaited them and I thought that you knew as well. I thought that you knew because you'd watched me. I should have asked...” He let out a sigh and shook his head. “...but I didn't even consider that you might be a virgin with the way you look.” He waved a hand at my body and I felt my cheeks heat even more.

I ignored the compliment. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach your high standards. I should have realized that the women you choose usually possess a certain level of skill.”

He let out a growl. “Now you’re putting words in my mouth. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I thought you like putting things in other people’s mouths.” My cheeks flamed at my boldness.

His lips twitched. “Don’t change the topic,” he said almost playfully. I steeled my heart against the emotions his tone brought out in me. “I prefer experienced women because there’s less pressure.”

“You seem like a guy who can handle pressure. And if all fails there’s Viagra.”

His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t mean it like that either. I’m talking about emotional pressure. To make it special and memorable. There are too many emotions involved.”

“Oh, it was memorable for me, Adrian, believe me.” I paused. “Especially the part where you shouted at me ‘I don’t do virgins.’ That gave me all the fuzzy feelings. I’m still having dreams about it.” I turned away, muttering, “Nightmares.”

Maybe it was my imagination but I thought I saw him wince. “I didn’t shout.”

I rolled my eyes.

“And I really didn’t mean it as an insult.” He shook his head. “Fuck. I’m not good at explaining myself. I’m not good with emotions. That’s why I’m a one-night, no emotions kind of guy. Keeps things simple and clean.”

“Simple and clean, hm?” I stared off toward the forest. I suddenly didn’t want to talk anymore.

I could tell he wanted me to say I forgave him, but I wasn’t in a forgiving mood. He'd been right with part of what he'd said. I'd watched him banging random girls and he’d known about it, so it wasn't surprising that he'd think I wanted that, too. Yet, he'd hurt me and I didn't mean the short physical pain. His words and actions had hurt much worse.

His voice dropped an octave and his eyes became anxious. “Are you hurt?”

I frowned at him, not sure exactly what he was asking.