I closed my eyes for a moment. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want to ruin everything.” Well, good job. “I thought I didn’t mind that he probably only wanted me for one night.”
“You thought he’d change for you,” Amy said. “So you slept with him and then he told you to leave?” She was getting impatient. Ah, Amy, I couldn’t help but love her.
I shook my head. “No, I mean, not exactly.” I lowered my head, staring at Bruno who’d fallen asleep in my lap. “In his apartment, we made out. In the hallway. And it all felt so good. I didn’t think straight. I didn’t want to think. Adrian pushed me up against the wall, and well…I cried out because it hurt when he entered me. He pulled out instantly. And he was shocked…and...and disgusted. He said...he said...” I let out a choked laugh. “He said 'I don't do virgins!'”
Amy gasped, eyes widening in horror. “He didn’t!”
Jared looked over his newspaper but I ignored him. I didn’t want to see his expression. “He did,” I whispered. “You should have seen his face, Amy. He looked repulsed.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, leaning my head against her shoulder. Amy rested her head on top of mine. “What a bastard. I can’t believe he said that. I can’t believe anyone would even think that. That sick fuck.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Amy never cursed like that, but then I sobered quickly. “I felt so dirty. I still feel.”
“No, you don’t,” Amy said firmly. “If anything you should feel furious.”
“I do. But…” I trailed off, my throat tightening.
“You wanted something special, I know. But it’s only one time. The first time doesn’t count, especially not that first time. It practically didn’t happen and you should forget about it right this second. You’ll have fabulous sex with guys that actually deserve you.”
“It took me 21 years to find a guy willing to sleep with me. Fabulous sex is nothing I’m too hopeful about. And after tonight, after feeling like I was ripped apart, I’m in no rush to have sex again, believe me.”
“The first time is seldom good. But it gets better. So much better,” Amy said the last three words in a conspiratorial whisper. “And honestly, it’s no surprise that it hurt. Your first time shouldn’t happen with an inconsiderate bastard against a wall. Jared took good care of me and my first time still hurt.” Amy and Jared shared a loving look over his newspaper. Tears shot into my eyes so quickly I had barely time to blink them back. I bet Jared whispered sweet nothings into her ear as he made love to her. I bet he held her in his arms afterward. I bet he cherished and loved her even back then. I bet he told her he loved her and actually meant it. High school sweethearts. How must it feel to never have your heart broken?
Suddenly, I felt the walls closing in on me. I couldn’t stay a second longer in a room with Jared and Amy, and their love. I was such an idiot. I jerked to my feet, holding Bruno against my chest, and stumbled toward the door. “I should go to my apartment,” I mumbled. I tore the door open and stepped into the corridor, then froze. Adrian was standing in front of my apartment.
Chapter Fourteen
I sucked in a breath in surprise. Adrian turned around and stared at me. I backed away into Amy’s apartment and closed the door again, my heart pounding in my chest. I bumped into Amy who’d followed me. “Nora?”
“Adrian. He’s out there.” Bruno whined and I loosened my grip on him. I’d practically been crushing him against me.
Jared appeared at my side. “That guy is in the hall now?”
I nodded numbly, staring at the wood of the door. A knock sounded and I flinched. Jared walked past me and put his hand on the door handle, then gave Amy a look over his shoulder. She took my hand and pulled me away from the door and into their bedroom. “Let Jared deal with him.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant and I honestly didn’t care.
We stood right in front of the closed bedroom door, but Jared was talking too quietly for me to make out what he was saying to Adrian and maybe it was for the best. I was about to walk over to the bed and sink down when I heard Adrian's voice. “I don’t owe you anything, least of all an explanation. I need to see Nora.”
“Fuck off,” Jared said loudly. “You better leave and never try to talk to Nora again.”
“Or what?” Adrian snarled. The danger in his voice sent a shiver down my back. Amy shifted nervously beside me. “Maybe I should go out,” I suggested, even though it was the last thing I wanted. I couldn’t face Adrian. Not so soon after what had happened, maybe never.