Amy pushed me down on the sofa, then fetched a glass of water for me before she sat down beside me. I took a deep gulp of water. Jared pushed off the counter and took a few steps in our direction. He was still watching me in concern, but there was something else in his eyes, something dark. “What happened?” he repeated his question. “Did he force you?” his voice shook and it was from rage I realized.
Amy let out a small sound and gripped my hand.
Guilt washed over me. Was that what they thought? Fuck. No wonder they were worried. Adrian had broken my heart, had ruined what was supposed to be a special night, but I’d wanted him, had wanted to sleep with him. But I’d also wanted to be loved and that was something he couldn’t give me. I don’t do virgins. Anger and mortification jolted through me.
I shook my head. “No. He didn't force me.”
“Are you sure?” Amy asked carefully, her arms wrapping tightly around me. She smelled of vanilla and coffee, and she was warm, so I allowed myself to rest my head on her shoulder. I’d have the mother of all headaches tomorrow. But that was the least of my worries.
“I am. Really.”
Jared looked still doubtful, but he relaxed slightly which made me glad because I was worried that he’d actually confront Adrian. I didn’t need any more reasons to be embarrassed.
“But something must have happened,” Amy said. She pulled back a few inches to better study my face.
“The evening was lovely, at first. He took me to an Italian restaurant. We had dinner and we talked about Italy. He was so nice...and charming...We laughed and we had amazing wine.” My chest ached as I remembered those perfect hours.
“Did he make you drunk?" Jared asked, his voice strained. Bruno started wriggling again and this time Jared put him down. Bruno ran toward me and jumped on my lap. He started licking my face and some of the tightness in my chest loosened at the feeling of his soft fur against my palms.
“No. He didn’t make me drink. We had wine for dinner. He drank even more than me, and I wasn’t really drunk. Maybe a bit tipsy, but I had an espresso after dinner to clear my head. I knew what I was doing. I was just stupid. I…” I shook my head, angry at myself and at Adrian. I’d been such an idiot, but Adrian…Adrian had acted like a major asshole. Okay, maybe I should have told him that it was my first time, but so what? It wasn’t like he’d felt the pain. What did it even matter to him if he was my first? He probably expected stellar performance from his women – his fuck buddies – in bed and I was obviously bound to disappoint.
“What happened, Nora?” Amy asked softly.
My eyes darted to Jared who was hovering in the middle of the apartment. I liked him, but I really didn’t want to go into the details of the night with him in earshot. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to tell Amy everything. Just thinking about it made me too embarrassed for words. Amy gave Jared a pointed look and he slunk back into the kitchen area and sat down at the table, then picked up the newspaper and raised it in front of his face. He could probably still hear us if we talked loudly, but at least he gave us the semblance of privacy.
Amy turned back around to me and tucked her legs under herself. Our sides were still pressed against each other, and neither of us moved away. “After dinner, we took a cab and when we got out, he asked me if I wanted to come up with him to his apartment.” I could see that Amy was struggling to stay silent and simply listen. ‘Duh’ was probably the word whirling in her mind right now.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I said even more quietly. “But I felt validated by his interest in me. It’s not like I have guys standing in line for me. At least not guys I’m interested in. You probably think I’m stupid for feeling special when he asked me to come with him. After all, he has a new woman in his bed every night.” I shut my mouth, realizing that I was rambling.
“I don’t think you’re stupid, Nora. I’d never judge you. I’m your friend and I’m worried, so tell me what happened that made you freak out like that. I’ve never seen you like that and I don’t want to ever again.”
I took a deep breath, then peeked over to Jared to make sure he was still ‘reading’. “After he asked me to come up to his apartment, I said no at first. But even then, I wanted to say yes. We’d kissed in the cab and it had felt so good, better than anything I’d ever felt before.” I blushed, realizing how pathetic that made me sound. “So eventually I agreed to go up with him.”
Amy pressed her lips together. “Let me guess, you didn’t tell him you were a virgin, right?”