All the pleasure I’d felt evaporated and I tumbled from the height his fingers had guided me toward. My body tensed and I cried out as unexpected pain ripped through my abdomen. It was a stinging pain. It felt like I was being ripped apart, and he hadn't even started moving. I could feel his cock twitching in me, but Adrian was completely frozen, every muscle tensed up. I, too, was unmoving in his arms, trying to accustom to the feel of him in me. He was so big.
Adrian lifted his head, his eyes wide as he stared at me. I bit my lip, unsure what to do and worried to move and make the pain worse. He gripped my butt and then he pulled out slowly. I pressed my lips even tighter together to keep myself from whimpering. I wanted to ask him why he’d stopped, but at the same time I was glad. It hurt, and I hadn't thought it would be like that, I hadn't wanted it to happen in a corridor against a wall.
I wanted him to hold me and tell me that it would be okay, that we would cuddle in his bedroom and try again later. I wanted him to kiss me and whisper soothing words to me. I licked my lips, about to apologize but his expression made me pause.
“Was this your first time?”
I stared at him, feeling my throat tightening. I couldn’t reply but the answer must have been plain on my face.
He shook his head. “Why didn't you tell me?” he hissed in a dangerously low voice. His face was appalled, disgusted, furious. “I don't do virgins.”
Chapter Thirteen
I don’t do virgins.
The words felt like a slap in my face and something broke in me, crumbled in a heap at my feet.
I don’t do virgins. The words echoed in my head. Cruel and merciless.
Tears filled my eyes like a flashflood; I wasn't able to blink fast enough to keep them at bay. But with the sadness came something else, another emotion I held onto: anger. I slapped Adrian across the face. The slap sounded loud in the silence of his apartment and for a moment I relished in the sight of my handprint on his perfect cheek. His green eyes grew wide and he raised his hand to touch the mark I’d left. Then I felt more tears rising up in my eyes and decided to make a run for it before I lost the last shreds of my dignity – if there were still any left.
I grabbed my dress that lay on the ground and pressed it to my chest as a barrier, considering putting it on but deciding I couldn’t stand another second in Adrian’s proximity. Not looking at him, I turned around and ripped the door open. The corridor was empty – a small mercy.
And then I ran, not bothering to wipe off the tears, not bothering to quiet my sobs, not caring that I was only wearing my lovely red lace underwear and black high heels. I just wanted to get away. I didn’t care if Adrian’s neighbors saw me. It wasn’t as if I’d ever set foot into this building again after tonight. Oh god, how could a perfect evening have gone so wrong?
I heard steps behind me and maybe even Adrian's voice, but I ran only faster. I smashed my palm against the call button of the elevator and its doors slid open immediately. I stumbled inside, squinting against the too bright elevator lights. I hit the button for the ground floor, followed by the one that closed the doors and slumped against the wall.
In the moment before the doors shut completely, I could see Adrian rushing toward the elevator, fumbling with his belt. My heart thudded faster, then he disappeared from my view and the elevator began its descend. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my lips together, taking deep breaths through my nose. I had to calm myself.
When I didn’t feel like I was going to have a mental breakdown anymore, I opened my eyes and slipped on my dress, then wrapped my arms around my chest, avoiding the mirror in the elevator. But from the corner of my eye, I could tell I looked like hell. At least, my mascara hadn’t run. Amy’s waterproof mascara was worth the money. I shook my head at the ridiculous thought. What did it even matter? Heat pressed against my eyes once more but I forced it back. I refused to cry again, at least until I was safe from running into other people.
The elevator came to a halt and opened its doors. With a quick glance around to make sure nobody was close by, I dashed out, past the concierge who looked up from his desk with a wide-eyed stare.
I hurried through the front doors and out into the cold night. I shivered and no matter how hard I rubbed my arms I didn’t feel any warmer. This time Adrian wasn’t there to warm me with his body. Not that I wanted him to, not after what he’d said tonight.
I was such an idiot. Shaking my head, I headed for my apartment building and staggered up the stairs, feeling myself losing it again. But I kept it together – barely – until I entered my apartment. Bruno wasn’t there to welcome and comfort me. Amy was playing babysitter for the evening so I could enjoy my date. A shrill laugh bubbled out of me. I thrust the door shut and leaned against it, trying to catch my breath, trying not to fall apart. This was all so fucked up. This wasn’t how this evening was supposed to end. This wasn’t how my first time was supposed to be.