Virgin in the Middle(12)

He smiles at her, and there’s an unpleasant curl of jealousy in my stomach. But is that even fair? What am I to the guys, just a hook-up? I’m not their girlfriend, am I? So could I be jealous if they wanted to flirt with someone else?

Nita catches my expression and frowns, and I shake my head with a sigh. “Sure. Study session later. But I’ve got to shower real quick, can I meet you downstairs?”

The moment she leaves, Anthony frowns at me. “What’s going on?” he asks gently. “Your friend is worried about you?”

“It’s just school stuff—”

“She didn’t see your grades until just now,” he points out. The door opens again and we both freeze, thinking it’s Nita returning. But it’s only Vin. He crosses the room to kiss my cheek, but I flinch, and now he’s frowning at me too.

“What’s up?” he asks, looking between Anthony and me, picking up on the tension in the room.

“Nita doesn’t know about us, does she?” Anthony asks. But the way he says it, it sounds like he’s upset, almost offended.

Vin tilts his head, eyebrows knitting together. “Nita, the one you mentioned before?” he says, eyes boring into mine. “Your best friend?”

“She showed up for a visit unexpectedly.” I wince, avoiding Anthony’s question.

He isn’t willing to let it drop. “You didn’t tell your best friend that you’re seeing us?”

“I…” I shake my head. Seeing them? Dating them? Is that what we’re doing? I can’t quite bring myself to ask, though, because I’m afraid of what their answer might be. “Nita’s pretty straight-laced. And she knows I’m a virgin. She’d freak out if she learned that my first time… That I’m seeing two guys at once right now. It’s strange, okay, you have to admit that much.” I bite my lip.

But the guys’ frowns only deepen. “Are you embarrassed by us?” Anthony scowls.

Vin, for his part, just watches us silently, processing. The pained look on his face sends an arrow straight to my heart. But what can I do? The situation isn’t normal. And Nita would freak out if she knew…

“It’s not that,” I protest. “I just… I need to give her some time. Before I spring something like this.”

“Give her some time,” Vin repeats. “Right.”

I grimace, closing my eyes so I don’t need to watch their faces anymore. “Is that okay?”

“For now,” Vin replies.

When I open my eyes again, both guys are gone, and I wonder with a sinking sensation in my chest if I’ve lost them both.



“Okay, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” I ask innocently. Nita sits across from me in the dimly-lit library, brow furrowed as she studies my face rather than the textbook open between us.

“You’re drifting. Did you even hear the last question I asked you?”

“Um… Something about cell structure?” I force a wide smile.

She rolls her eyes. “Cass, this isn’t like you. Normally you’re totally focused. Normally you’re the one making me pay attention. What’s really going on?”

“Nothing,” I reply, too fast and too nervously.

Those wide brown eyes of hers narrow. “Is it the guy you told me about?”

My face flushes. Nita saw Anthony in my room—hell, Anthony let her in. Plus, she’s observant—she probably noticed the photos Vin hung around his bed, of him in lacrosse gear or the picture of him and his little sister posing for the camera. Has she guessed that my complaints about the guy who wouldn’t bang a virgin were about Anthony or Vin? Or that the two guys I was choosing between are my roommates?

“It’s not exactly that…”

She rolls her eyes. “Cass, I told you, he’s an asshole, whoever he is. Get over him. And hey, weren’t there two guys chasing you for a while? Who’s the other one?”

“The virgin thing was a misunderstanding—” I start to say, but then Nita’s eyes flash over my head, and I pause mid-sentence.

“Anthony!” Nita’s smile widens and she pats the seat beside her. “Come join us. We’re just discussing Cass’s love life having her in a tizzy.”

“Is that so?” he asks, eyes boring into me as he accepts the chair beside Nita.

My face was already hot; now it burns so bright I’m surprised the fire alarm doesn’t start going off. “It does not,” I mumble.

“Right, you’re just distracted by all this biology homework.” Nita nudges Anthony, grinning sideways at him, expecting him to share in the joke.

Something unpleasant curls in my stomach. But that’s not fair. She doesn’t know Anthony is one of the guys—or even that there are two guys I’m seeing at once. And I have no one to blame for that but myself.

Anthony smiles at Nita, polite, restrained, but she leaves her elbow nudged against his and carries on, joking about my distracted state, my inability to concentrate.

I can’t reply. My throat is too tight at the sight of her and Anthony touching. I push back my chair suddenly and surge to my feet. “Sorry. I need… bathroom,” I stammer, before bolting out of the library.

I should’ve known that move wouldn’t work. Before I even make it to the hallway, Nita is on me, tugging my arm to her side. “What’s wrong?” she asks, her eyes wide and sincere as she trails me into the bathroom.

“Nothing is wrong!” I snap so loud that Nita blinks in shock.

“Cass.” She’s smart, my best friend. Her eyes dart from me to the library and back again. “Oh, crap. Wait. Is Anthony… Was he one of the guys?” Nita lowers her voice to a whisper and I grimace. Nita scowls then. “Did he stop liking you when he found out you’re a virgin? Because I’ll go punch him right now—”

“No, that was a misunderstanding. He only wanted… He wanted my first time to be special, so he didn’t want to just hook up.”

Her eyes widen. “Did you guys already hook up?”

I can’t lie well enough to dodge this one. I stare at the floor, embarrassed as hell.

But Nita, for her part, is whooping and jumping, clapping my shoulder. “Finally! And damn, nice catch, he’s hot as hell too.” She nudges my elbow and winks.

I groan again. “It’s not that big a deal—”

“I’m just happy for you, Cass.” She wraps her arm around my shoulders and squeezes me in a hug. “No wonder you’re distracted, huh? Hooking up with the hottest guy in school and your roomie. It all makes sense now.” Her smirk widens. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hit on your man. But he totally wasn’t into it anyway.”

I snort. “It’s fine. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“All good. I’ll just take your guys’ other roomie—he’s pretty hot too, in his own way,” she adds, already turning away from me toward the mirror, flipping her hair over one shoulder.

My emotions are already too all over the place. Plastered across my face. I can’t stop the fire that erupts at the thought of Nita turning her attention on Vin next. “No fucking way,” I snap before I can think better of it.

Nita’s eyes widen again in shock. “Cass?”

I can’t do this. I can’t deal with her finding out, not yet. Not when I still don’t even know what’s going on. I storm out of the bathroom, speeding up when tears start to sting my eyes. I walk blind, stumbling through the library, the halls, not stopping until I’m outside in fresh air, and even then, the campus feels too big. Brightly lit and full of curious bystanders casting sideways glances at me, wondering why I’m tearing up in the middle of the quad.

I storm behind the nearest building and press my back to the stone. Take deep, slow breaths until my breathing steadies. Sink slowly down, sitting against the stone, letting my head drop to my lap.

I don’t know how long I sit like that before I feel a warm hand gently touch my shoulder. I glance up to find Anthony sitting beside me, and Vin on his other side. Both are watching me carefully like they’re afraid I’ll break.

“Are you okay?” Vin asks softly, and the way he says it makes my whole body flare with heat. He doesn’t just want me, he cares about me. They both do—it’s written all over their faces now.

When it’s just us, just Vin and Anthony and me, alone in our room, this thing between us feels so right. But how could anyone else understand? How could I admit these feelings in public if I can’t even handle explaining the situation to my best friend in the world?

“Not really,” I murmur in response. Anthony tightens his grip on my shoulder, and Vin slides around to my other side so I’m caught between their warm bodies, their arms holding me upright. I lean back and sink into their familiar embrace, letting myself forget for a moment everything else I’m worried about. Vin rests his forehead against mine, and Anthony tilts his head to rest on my shoulder.

“You can talk to us, you know,” Anthony says softly.

“I know.” I close my eyes. Swallow thickly. “It’s just… What are we doing? What is this between us? Will anyone else…”