But people can’t exist that way forever. Sooner or later, you have to let people back into your life. I learned that back in the day when Numbers began to take off and I had to admit that I couldn’t control every single little detail anymore. I was lucky that I still had James to hang out with.
Now I’m starting to realize it with Erin and Lacey. I took care of Lacey all on my own until now, and it feels really good to have someone like Erin help me. I don’t know why but I trust Erin already. Lacey seems to really like her, and she seems like a really good person. I don’t know much about her, but I’m intrigued. Plus, it helps that I want to strip her down and absolutely fucking ravage her.
“Your turn now,” I say to her. “I opened up. Tell me about your life.”
She shrugs a little bit. I top of our wine glasses and she adjusts her position on the stool.
“Not much to say. I went to boarding school for most of my life abroad in Canada, and then I went to college in Germany.”
“So you grew up wealthy,” I say.
She smiles a little. “I guess so.”
“Only rich people go to boarding school.”
She grins. “Okay, yeah. My family does well. But I don’t want to rely on them.”
“That’s why you became a nanny in Germany?” I ask.
She glances away. “Sure,” she says. “Anyway, I can empathize with what you said. It’s really tough to be isolated, even if you’re fulfilled in your isolation.”
I grin at her a little bit, surprised. “That’s pretty insightful.”
She grins back. “What can I say. I’m pretty smart.”
“Yes, you are,” I say softly, sipping my wine. “So what does your family do?”
She glances away again. “Nothing special,” she says. “You know. The usual rich person stuff.”
I smirk a little. “That’s vague.”
She laughs. “It’s really boring.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to bore you.” I glance behind her at the clock and I realize that we’ve been talking for nearly forty-five minutes. “Listen, are you hungry? It’s pretty late.”
She shakes her head then stifles a yawn. “No, I’m okay. I should probably get home.”
I nod though inwardly I’m disappointed. I wanted to kiss her tonight, maybe do more to her, but I shouldn’t push. We had a good conversation. I don’t want to fuck that up.
“Okay,” I say. “Let me walk you out.”
She gathers her things and I follow her down to the front door. Once we get there, I open the door for her, and she lingers in front of me as she’s leaving.
“Same time tomorrow?” she asks.
I nod. “If that’s okay.”
“It’s great.” She bites her lower lip and she’s so fucking close to me. I know that look on her face, I know what she’s thinking.
But before I can take her hair and pull her against me, she slips past and out onto the street. She turns back once to wave then hurries away.
I step back inside and shut the door. I’m smiling to myself as I head back into the kitchen to make something small to eat before going to bed.
That was good. I’m surprised at how much I opened up to her, though. Those aren’t things I normally tell people, let alone someone I barely know. And yet it felt totally natural.
Still, there was that weird moment when I asked about her family. I got the sense that she was hiding something. I don’t know why or what, but she was definitely being purposefully vague.
I’ll need to look into that. I don’t want to push, but I can’t help but admit that I’m curious. I want to know about her. I want her to open up.
And I want her to let me slide my fingers down between her legs and make her feel fucking good.
Soon, I keep telling myself. Very soon. Just be patient. She’s not the kind of girl I’m used to. I can’t play this like I normally do. She’s smarter, funnier, a better person all around. She’ll come to me, sooner or later.
I just have to be patient.
6
Erin
The next day, I feel guilty as hell.
As soon as I head over to Griffin’s in the morning and take over watching Lacey, the guilt just settles in like a heavy wool blanket. Griffin is super nice in the morning, although he’s clearly in a rush, and Lacey is just so adorable. I feel so guilty knowing that I’m spying on them for the man that’s trying to screw this nice little family over.
I don’t do any snooping all day long. I just can’t bring myself to do it, especially after last night.
I didn’t exactly lie to him, but I wasn’t very graceful about avoiding his question. I could have been a little subtler, but I stumbled through it and only realized later that I was so totally obvious.