Virgin(84)

“This is fucking good,” he said, slurping his drink.

I smiled tightly at him. “Yeah, they’re really good.”

“I’ve never been here before,” he admitted. “In fact, I had to Google this place to know what you were talking about.”

“That’s me,” I said lightly, “always in the know about the best places for hangover juice.”

“Well, you’ve now officially won my trust. I’ll go wherever you suggest.” He laughed.

There was a brief silence while I remembered how last night he had done everything except go where I suggested. He went quiet as well, and I knew he was thinking the same thing. I stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to break the silence. I wasn’t in the mood for all this small talk. I needed to hear the truth.

He took the hint. “Um, Ellie, I guess . . . I guess we need to talk,” he said.

“Please, talk away,” I said, spreading my hands out.

“Last night . . . things got weird. I really didn’t mean for things to come out the way they did.”

“Okay, then explain to me how you meant them to come out.”

“I mean, I just . . . Look, we’re fine, right?” he asked quickly. “We’re fine, we’re hanging out. We don’t need to go over all this, do we?”

I sat back in my chair and looked at him coolly. “Jack,” I said, “we do need to go over this—this is exactly why I’m sitting here. To hear what you have to say. I want to hear all of it.”

He still looked uncertain as he fidgeted with the straw of his Ginger Zinger.

“You owe it to me,” I added.

He shifted on his chair and took a deep breath. “Yeah. You’re right. I’m . . . I’m going to explain it all to you, right now.”

I crossed my arms.

“Right, okay. Let me just start at the beginning.”

“A very good place to start,” I said. Bugger. The Sound of Music lyrics had a habit of popping into my head when I least expected them to.

“Right. So . . . I’ve dated a few girls in my time . . .” he started.

I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms more tightly, wishing it were someone else’s arms holding me safe.

“Anyway, yeah, I’ve dated people and I’ve never really met anyone I truly liked. Obviously they’ve all been great, but somehow, I haven’t . . . I haven’t really connected with anyone. I just, I never believed in true love. Do you . . . do you believe in it?” he asked. He looked worried.

“Uh, I . . . I guess. I don’t know.”

“Okay,” he said, his eyes piercing straight into me. “Well, I didn’t. But then it all changed.”

My heart started to lift.

“With all the other girls, the way I felt about them was just a bit . . . a bit average. A bit nothing. It was no wonder I didn’t believe in true love, because these girls were all the same in a way.”

He paused for a while and I stared at him, transfixed. My heart was so hopeful that I couldn’t even think. I was totally absorbed. Every cell and particle inside me was hooked on his words.

He carried on. “Then one day, in a way that was totally unexpected, I went to a party and I met a girl who was completely different. A girl who took my breath away and made me see the world with different eyes. Someone who changed my life with the first word she said to me.”

I felt my knees go weak. I couldn’t even remember the first word I’d said to him. It must have been profound.

His voice was full of passion as he kept talking. “For the first time in my life, I had a totally deep, intense connection with someone. It wasn’t just how beautiful she was; it was the way she made me feel. She challenged me, but she liked the same things as me, she made me laugh but she also made me cry. From the second I saw her I felt a connection with her. Do you know what I mean?” He stared into my eyes.

“Yes,” I whispered softly.

“I’m glad,” he said gently. “Because I never expected to find that. And it’s really thrown me off. I’m a different person from how I used to be, and it’s making things really complicated for me. It’s why I’ve been a bit weird and a bit . . . I guess it might have come across as though I’ve been a bit hot and cold with you lately and sending you mixed signals.”

I nodded understandingly. I got it now. He was just scared. He had never expected to fall for me. He was a boy. Boys hated commitment—everyone knew that. And now he’d found me. He really liked me, and it was scaring him.

“It’s just this . . . this connection was so powerful, Ellie. It changed me, totally,” he added.