“You don’t waste much time, do you?” he said, opening his canvas bag and pulling out a bottle of wine. “I’ve brought some Beaujolais for us, and . . .”
I leaned in curiously as he pulled out a pile of papers. I wrinkled my face in confusion as he handed them to me. “Um, you brought me some crumpled sheets?” I asked. They were covered with words in a typewriter font.
“My writing,” he said, looking very pleased with himself. “I finally finished my short stories and really want your opinion on them. You’re the one person I really trust, and I can’t wait to hear your opinion on them.”
I was touched. “Jack, that’s so sweet. I’ll read them right now.”
“I think they can wait till tomorrow.” He grinned. “Now, let’s get some glasses and start with the wine.”
Smiling, I grabbed a couple of clean mugs and poured us both generous portions. I hoped it wasn’t obvious I still had knots in my stomach. This was going to be the night I lost my virginity. I took a deep breath and remembered the time I passed my driving test. I had been a bag of nerves but I had done it the third time round, and I could do it this time too. If I could steer a wheel, I could let someone penetrate me. Jack put his empty mug down and started kissing me again. This was it; we were heading up to fifth gear and going all the way.
I snogged him slowly, trying to enjoy every second of the most important evening of my life. He was lying on top of me on the bed, kissing me and moving his hands around my body. We sat up together, our bodies moving in sync. He pulled the top over my head and I congratulated myself on choosing such appropriate shag-wear. I pulled his T-shirt over his head, mirroring him. Then he undid my bra and I realized my mirroring actions couldn’t go any further.
We each unbuckled our own trousers and pulled them off. I was in only my black lace pants now. Jack pulled off his boxers, and his erect penis poked out at me, proud of its naked pinkness.
He leaned back and I felt his eyes take in my totally naked body. It was the first time he was seeing me completely starkers. Worried, I looked down at my semi-Hitler to see how it was doing under his intense scrutiny. I’d tried to maintain it, whilst letting it grow a bit so it would be a bit thicker and more strip-like, but the lines weren’t as straight as when Yasmin had done them. I looked up at him to see if he’d noticed. He was staring at my semi-Hitler as though he was solving an algebra problem.
“What’s up?” I asked in a strained voice whilst desperately not wanting to know.
“Oh nothing,” he said. “It’s just I didn’t expect you to have pubic hair like that.”
Was he fucking kidding me?
Why did this ALWAYS happen to me?! And WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY SEMI-HITLER?
“Um, what?” My voice came out strangled and distorted.
“I don’t know, it’s just I’ve always thought of you as natural. I didn’t think you’d be into all . . . that.” He gestured at my vagina.
I stared at him in total disbelief. “It’s called a Brazilian,” I retorted. “Well, a Playboy Brazilian. But that’s not the point. Everyone has one.”
“I didn’t have you down as the kind of girl who did what everyone else did.”
Was he motherfucking kidding me?! How had I ended up with the one guy in London who preferred girls au naturel? I sighed in frustration and semi-humiliation, wondering if a guy would ever see my naked body and not feel the need to comment on my pubic situation.
Jack didn’t notice that my cheeks were no longer flushed with lust but with shame. He slipped his hand into the middle of the Hitler as though nothing had happened. I gasped and forgot my eternal pubic dilemma. He leaned over and carried on kissing me as his fingers slid around my vagina.
It wasn’t as good as it was when I did it alone, but it was enough to make me so damp I wondered if I would drip onto the bedspread. I ran my fingers across his back, exploring the little moles and avoiding the patch of hair at the bottom of his back that spread onto his bum. While his fingers were getting familiar with my female orb, I moved my hand onto his penis and started gently rubbing it. He groaned in pleasure and I glowed with pride. I was getting quite good at this.
We were sitting up and kissing, my back against the headboard. He started to slide down the bed. I froze in total fear. He was going to go down on me. He spread my legs apart and held my lips open. Then he put his head in there, right inside my vagina, with his nose smelling everything, and started licking.
I was too stressed to enjoy it. He was more up close with my bits than I ever would be. This was the most intimate a person had ever been with me, and I hated it. He licked around and on my clitoris, but the slow movements of his tongue were nothing like the fast vibrations of the bullet I was used to.