Virgin(14)

I stared at them wordlessly, then looked down at myself to check that I wasn’t also half naked. I was wearing an oversized T-shirt and last night’s black knickers. Wordlessly, I climbed over them, went into the bathroom and closed the door.

My head was throbbing and I had just found my best friend lying naked on my tiny bedroom floor with a guy I had fancied. I was hungover, jealous and irrationally angry.

I needed to shower away my feelings and last night’s sweat before I went back out as a normal, happy-for-my-best-friend human being. I pulled my T-shirt over my head, slid my knickers off and climbed into the bathtub.

As my second foot touched the bottom of the tub, I slipped backwards, falling onto my back with a thud. I screamed in pain and swore as loudly as I could.

Rubbing my sore back, I sat up and inspected my hand. It had some white stuff on it and I realized it was probably the hair removal cream from yesterday that I had spent hours washing off.

Then a horrendous thought came to my mind. There were other things that looked white and gloopy. Sexual things that had nothing to do with my hair removal cream. OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD. Had Lara and Angus come in here and had sex in my bathtub while I slept alone next door?

I looked closer at the white stuff but I’d never seen real semen before, not even in all its dried-up glory, so I was clueless. I scanned the rest of the bathroom for other evidence. Lara’s lacy Calvin Kleins were scrunched up on the bathmat. My worst fears were confirmed.

I screamed as loudly as I could until my screams turned into hysterical sobs. I wiped my hands on the sides of the bath. I could hear Lara banging on the bathroom door and calling out to me, but I ignored her and turned the shower on.

I stood there for what seemed like forever, letting the hot water wash away my hangover and humiliation. Lara hadn’t really done anything wrong, barring the whole sex-in-my-bath thing, but this entire experience just made me feel so . . . rejected. She and I had gone out together to have fun and meet cute guys, but I was the one who genuinely wanted to take a guy back home. Except, obviously, it was Lara with her perfect nose, long blond hair and Oxford education who was taking the men home—even though she was still technically seeing Jez. I knew I was being the bitchy girl who couldn’t handle having a prettier, more successful best friend, but that thought just made me cry more.

Forty-five minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom, now cocooned in my dressing gown. Lara was sitting, fully clothed, on my bed. She was alone. As I walked in, she looked up guiltily at me. She sat in silence, waiting for me to say something.

I gave in. “So, has Angus gone?”

“Yeah. Ellie, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him back here—that was really weird of me.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine. We— Oh God, I have to admit something to you.”

“Go on, then.”

She shuffled on the bed, fidgeting with her hair, which still looked shiny and glossy, and then took a deep breath. “We had sex together. In your bathroom.”

I waited a few minutes to let her suffer and then calmly said, “I know. I found the evidence.”

Her face wrinkled in confusion and then crumpled in shock. Her hand flew in front of her mouth and she groaned. “Fuck, is that why you screamed? Shit, Ellie, I’m so sorry! This is so embarrassing. I feel so bad. It’s just, I was so drunk and we really wanted to have sex but we didn’t have anywhere to go . . .”

I sighed. “It’s fine, honestly. If I were you, I probably would have done the same—except I would have washed the bathtub afterwards.”

She lowered her face in shame again. “I know. I’m a bad person. I’m sorry. I owe you.”

I sat down on the bed next to her and knew I had already forgiven her. “Anyway, let’s just forget it. How was it with Angus?”

She brightened up and smiled happily. “He was really nice. We swapped numbers and made plans to go for coffee next week. He’s doing his master’s so he’s a couple of years older than us, but he seems like a really decent guy.”

“Better than Jez?”

She snorted. “Babe, even your emo from last night is better than Jez. What was with that, anyway?”

“Uh, well . . . after you heartlessly abandoned me, I had to fend for myself, and I guess Drunk Ellie couldn’t find anyone better to hang out with. So, that happened.”

“I guess the mission failed, then?”

I nodded, scrunching up my face. “I think it was for the best. I can’t really lose my virginity like that. I don’t think I’d mind losing it to a total stranger, but last night was kind of seedy . . .”