Violet Grenade(89)

        

Jack's mouth is warm against mine, but I can't bring myself to close my eyes. He forgot to close the door. I can see his face in the kitchen light, clenched like he's constipated, as he gropes my chest.

Maybe I could steal the money from him and run without going through with this, I think in desperation. Hit him over the head with that bottle he brought and use the few seconds I have to grab Poppet and Cain and run, baby, run.

Even as I think this, I know it's stupid. I'd never have enough time. I have to do this.

I concentrate on the end game as my pulse races and dizziness overwhelms my senses. He smells like aftershave and tastes of Angie's peppermints. I focus on this and not the fact that his hand is sliding between my knees.

"Tell me you like this," he says.

"I like this."

He pauses. "Tell me you love me."

A chill races down my back. I won't say it. I won't. I'm not sure why this is the line I won't cross, but it's like a fault line that can't be disturbed. Should I attempt it, earthquakes would rumble the house. Aftershocks would bring down the roof.

"Don't ever leave me," I try, hoping that'll suffice.

He bites the tender flesh above my collarbone. "Tell me you love me."

I shake my head, and tears spring to my eyes. He's crazy. We've spent mere hours together, and he thinks I could love him that quickly? He thinks I could love him at all? Jack's hands slide down my arms until he finds my wrists. He pulls them up and over my head.

"You want to tease me?" he says playfully. "Well, I know just what to do with that."

Dread rumbles in my blood as he releases my wrist and strides toward the door, peeling off his suit jacket and shirt as he moves.

"Jack," I say in a whimper.

I hate the sound of my voice. The pleading tone that silently begs him to give me the money, no strings attached. There's no such thing as a free lunch, isn't that what they say? My body begins to shake, and I cry openly.

"Shhh," he says, closing the door. "Don't be sad. I'm not leaving."

When I see him move toward me-completely ignorant of my distress-is the moment I snap. I can't do this. Not for any amount of money. Not for any amount of freedom. Because this isn't freedom. Cain is right, if I do this, I'll become one of Madam Karina's girls. No matter how far away I get.

I've already let Jack kiss me. But I won't let this go any further.

I stand up. "I can't do this."

"You're scared I won't come back," he says soothingly. "But I will. You don't have to worry." 

"No, Jack. I don't want to be with you. I thought I could, but … "

"You thought you could?" The confusion that crosses Jack's face swiftly morphs into sadness. He shakes his head once. Twice. Three times. A thousand times, trying to figure out my sudden change of heart. "You thought you could because I was going to pay you?"

I don't respond.

"Do you want to leave with me?"

"Jack … "

He sighs, shrugs. "No. You don't want to leave with me. You want to leave with you."

I expect him to exit the room. Or to yell. Or to report me to Mr. Hodge. But instead, he takes a single step in my direction. "And what if I said no? What if I told you that you don't know what you want? Young girls seldom do."

This isn't going to end well. I look at his stance, at the way he's blocking the door.

"Come here, Domino, and give me what you promised."

I back up, my knees hitting the edge of the mattress.

Wilson?!

Here! I'm here!

Jack reaches out, slowly at first. As if he expects I'll come to him easily. Realize my mistake in rejecting him. When I dodge his hand, the sadness on his face changes, slowly, slowly. The anger twisting his face is so unnerving my head spins.

And then-

Jack grabs my wig and rips my head toward him. His other hand covers my mouth.

Terror seizes every muscle in my body. I was prepared to give myself to Jack. But not like this. Never like this. He lifts me up and throws me onto the bed. My back hits the mattress, and I cry out against the springs.

Did I ask for this?

Have I made Jack into this monster?

No! Wilson answers inside my mind. No, no, no, no, no!

Jack reaches down and tears my shirt with the hand that held my hair. The other remains over my mouth. I cry out against his clenched fingers.

Say the words, Wilson pleads, leaping around inside my head. Say them, Domino!

I won't be able to stop you, though.

Wilson pulls his hair out. We don't have a choice!

Jack tells me not to scream. Uncovers my mouth and reaches for my waist. But I do scream, and when I do, he delivers a blow to my cheek so hard the world spins. Fear shadows his face, like he's surprised at his own assault. He reaches for me gently as if he can make it better. That's when I scream a second time.