I can hear her gulp in the air, and it creates goose bumps on my entire body.
I hate even the slightest sliver of fear … despise it, to the point of wanting to beg her to stay and look at me. Really look at me and see my defeat. Because if she isn’t happy with me … I can’t be either.
“Are you that unhappy with this place?” I murmur, my voice breaking. “Do you want to get away from me that badly?”
She doesn’t answer, but her body feels less tense against mine, even though half of it is leaning out the window. I know she can taste the freedom. It lures her like her body lured me.
“Tell me the truth,” I say, my fingers digging into her skin. “Tell me I’ve treated you badly. Tell me how I’m an animal. A monster. Someone who everyone fears. Who deserves no love. Prove to me I’m right.”
She hesitates and then stops fighting me. “No.”
“Don’t tell me a lie, Lexi. I don’t wanna hear it. You don’t have to seduce me anymore. I’m done playing games.”
“I’m not …”
Her breathing captures me so much; I bring one hand to her throat. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fear that I saw, driving me to insanity, wanting to prove to myself once and for all that I’m truly that monster I see in the mirror. Or maybe I’m wrong, and I want to remember what it was like to touch her for the very first time … that first encounter, when neither of us knew who the other really was.
“Do you hate me?” I whisper in her ear, my tongue briefly darting out to lick her earlobe.
Even when she fears me and wishes to leave, I still want to have her more than anything else in the world.
“How can I not?” she says, swallowing.
“Exactly … how can you not,” I growl. “But you’ll never hate me more than I already hate myself. But you know what’ll also never change? How much I fucking want you. How much I fucking need you. I’ve never wanted a girl as much as I want you.”
Her pulse races under my fingertips, her throat muscles clenching as I speak into her ear.
“I can’t let you go, Lexi. You’re my obsession. I can’t sleep. I can’t think. Can’t eat. Can’t stop wanting your body … seeing your eyes light up … that foxy smile. I want it all.”
A tiny gasp escapes her mouth as my hand snakes its way around her naked belly and pulls her closer to my body. “I hate that too … just like you. You’re so different. So unlike anything I expected. I like it.”
I gently press a kiss to her neck, and it makes her clench the hand that’s around her throat. But she doesn’t attempt to take it off. Instead, she only presses harder.
“I shouldn’t be here,” she whispers, her eyes closing. “I shouldn’t have come. Shouldn’t have stayed.”
“But you did … Even when half of the time, the door isn’t locked.” I grin against her skin.
“I can’t …” She moans when I bite into her shoulder, leaving a mark.
“Stay with me, Lexi. Don’t be afraid of me. Or you’ll prove I’m the monster you said I wasn’t.”
“You’re not …” she whispers, leaning back into my body, her hips grinding against mine. “I hate this. Hate that I want to leave … but can’t.”
“Can’t … because I hold you back.”
“Because I’m holding me back. Because I don’t want to leave, even when I want to. I hate you. I hate this. I hate us. But I want this just as much.”
“You seem confused, Lexi …” I muffle a laugh.
“I hate you,” she murmurs.
“I hate you too …” I say, sliding the straps of her nightgown down her shoulder. “But I need you more than I hate you.”
“Why am I still here?” she whispers as my hand disappears into her panties.
“Because you want me. Because you can’t leave.” I slide my fingers between her slit. Her folds are already wet for me, even before I’ve laid a hand on her. I grin against her skin, finally understanding why I want her so much. She needs it rough … and rough is all I am.
“You used this against me, Lexi …” I whisper in her ear. “Used your pussy as a tool to get information.”
“It wasn’t just that …”
“Show it to me then.”
The nightgown falls down to the floor, exposing her naked body right in front of the open window. But with no one around, neither of us cares. I’m going for the kill.
“Make me believe the lie that’s us,” I say, rubbing her clit.