Victoria’s Secret Wish(3)

He thrust up into her and convulsed; she collapsed and held herself against him. Better to keep everything inside, and less chance of anything good running out.

“Are you holding me because your world is still rocking, or because you hope to hold my sperm captive?”

She smiled against his chest. “Both?”

Another sigh, and he caressed her back. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Hopefully, this time would be the time. Britt had been a good sport about all the trying. Next time maybe she’d give him a proper finish to the blow-job. Maybe next time, she’d be pregnant.





Chapter 2



“Thanks for agreeing to meet me here at the hotel, Dr. Weiss.” Victoria offered her most professional smile and shook the other woman’s hand. “I’m afraid certain paparazzi have staked me out at the airport here in Salt Lake. If I’d gone to your office from there, it would have been literally minutes before they released a story that my marriage is on the rocks.”

“I understand.” The petite brunette offered a smile of her own and then a quick hug.

“It’s not. On the rocks, I mean. In fact, Brett suggested I see you. I’ve never been, you know…to see a shrink. Therapist. Doctor. Well, a doctor, but just not–”

Dr. Weiss chuckled. “Relax, Victoria. And please, call me Serena. I think we’re on a little more intimate terms. After all, you arranged that cavewoman fantasy for my husband and me.” Her entire face went crimson, and she fanned herself with a room service menu. “We’ve gotta do that again soon.”

The good doc had taken three cavemen that night, and if Victoria recalled, the little mister had done some time on his knees as well.

“Okay. Serena, then.” Her hands seemed to flutter around on their own, first onto her hips, then to her sides as she hugged her arms to herself.

“Shall we have a seat?” Serena settled on the sofa and patted a spot next to her.

So this wasn’t going to be formal, like a TV therapy session. No notebook, no voice recorder. Victoria perched on the edge of a cushion and smoothed the wrinkles from her slacks. “Um.” And picked at loose lint. “I do this, you know, try to clean and straighten everything when I’m nervous or stressed. Britt–that’s what I call Brett–says it’s cute, but I bet it’s just annoying after a while.”

“Why are you nervous? Is it because you’re seeing me, or because you’re seeing a therapist?”

“Therapist.” As Britt had pointed out, seeing Serena Weiss would be less intimidating than any other therapist. After all, they’d watched from the AV room as Serena’s fantasy had been recorded. Having seen a woman go wild like that made her quite easy to approach. Aside from the therapist issue, anyway.

Serena merely raised one manicured brow. Go on. Ah, that active listening trick. Must be on the Head Shrinking 101 syllabus.

Might as well spill her guts. That’s what they were there for. “We’ve been married for sixteen months now. Trying to conceive for about eighteen.” She smoothed her slacks again, searched for lint. Stop looking like such a head case! Clasped her hands together. “No luck so far.”

More listening-face from Serena.

“I realize this isn’t a crazy-long time to try. The thing is… I think it’s my fault we haven’t conceived. Britt said he wants someone to talk sense into me.”

“Why don’t you start by explaining why you believe it’s your fault.”

Here came the hard part. Hopefully she could get it all out so it’d make sense, without breaking down. “I was pregnant when my first husband died. I miscarried while mourning. It was early, but still devastating.” There. She’d spoken about losing Luke and the baby, and barely teared up. Time did heal wounds. “After that I sort of shut myself off, told guys I couldn’t have children to keep them from getting serious. At one point had decided I wanted to be sterilized. I didn’t go through with it–thanks to some intervening loved ones.”

“So you didn’t want children?” That eyebrow arched again.

“I did.” Great. Already she was botching up the story. But she needed to make Serena understand the past or she’d never understand the present. “I just…feared losing someone again, and I was depressed, and then I wanted to just end it all… In retrospect, I probably should’ve seen a therapist before now.”

“Maybe.” Serena tilted her head. “Still, you seem to have recovered and found happiness. Yes?”

“Yes. Definitely. It’s just now…every month that goes by, if I don’t conceive, I have to wonder if it’s some sort of punishment. And then I know that doesn’t make sense, but I also know I’ve got to prove to myself and to Britt that I can have a baby. I can be a mother, despite what most of the world thinks of my career. And so I put this pressure on myself. I eat all the right things, and take all the right supplements. Exercise in a healthful, nurturing way…”