Vicious Cycle(43)
“Ugh, it’s hot,” she whined, kicking off the covers.
“If you can wait a damn minute, I’ll turn on the fan.” When I turned back around from hitting the switch, I sucked in a harsh breath at the sight of Alex ripping off her shirt. The white lacy bra was about the sexiest thing I’d seen in a long fucking time. It may not have been skimpy, but just seeing the outline of Alex’s pink nipples beneath the lacy shit made my mouth run dry.
But she wasn’t through tormenting me. Oh no. She had to rip off her jeans next to reveal white boy shorts. I licked my lips, trying hard to hold myself back from ripping them off of her and burying my face between her legs.
With my dick pounding against my zipper, I knew I needed to get the fuck out of there. If I didn’t, I was going to do something I would regret—something I never, ever did, which was fuck a seriously drunk girl. When I turned to go, she grabbed onto my arm, pulling me to the bed. “Noooo, don’t leave.”
“Give me a fucking break, Alex. You can sleep it off by yourself.”
She giggled. “I promise not to try to take advantage of you.”
“That ain’t it.” No, I would be the one defiling her in a hundred different ways.
Her amusement faded. Staring up at me with those big brown eyes, she asked, “Don’t you want to stay with me?”
“You wouldn’t ask me that question if you were sober.”
“And why not?”
“Because you would know that I’m sure as hell not the type of man who does what a woman asks.”
“Even if she begs?”
“I only listen to pleading when I’m fucking.”
Her nose wrinkled. “You’re a disgusting pig.”
“Yeah, I am, babe. And don’t forget it.”
“Would you at least sit on the edge of the bed until I go to sleep?”
“You’re not giving up, are you?”
“I promise I won’t tell anyone that you did. You can save face in front of your brothers. Besides, I probably won’t remember this in the morning anyway.”
I don’t know why I eased down on the side of the bed. But then that small voice of conscience, the one I usually ignored, seemed to overrule any idea about telling Alex no. Every time Alex got remotely near me, I should bolt in the opposite direction. I’d never met a woman this dangerous—one who made me do shit I didn’t want to do, to consider shit I didn’t want to.
Stretching my legs out, I pushed myself up in the bed to where I leaned back against the headboard. Although we weren’t touching, I could still feel Alex beside me. She overwhelmed me with her presence in my bed—the smell of her perfume, the fall of her hair on the pillow, the slide of her bare thigh on the comforter.
Lacey was the last woman I’d just lain in bed with without fucking. When she wasn’t a drunken mess, there was nothing I loved more than to spoon against her. Sure, it usually led to a hard-on and screwing, but just the soft feel of her body did something to me—it calmed me. I was starting to feel the same way with Alex.
I don’t know how long we lay there. Alex was so quiet I thought she had fallen asleep. But then she shifted in the bed. Propping her head on her elbow, she gazed up at me. “Tell me something about yourself—something you’ve never told anyone else.”
Scowling down at her, I replied, “You can get the fuck out of here if you think I’m going to do that.”
“Why not?”
I laced my fingers behind my head. “Because that ain’t me, babe. That ain’t who I am or who I’ll ever be.”
“Why are you so afraid to open up to someone?”
“I’m not,” I growled.
“Yes, you are.”
Giving her a hard look, I said, “If you don’t stop the emotional bullshit, I’m out of here. I swear you’re the most lucid drunk I’ve ever seen. Why can’t you be giggling and acting stupid?”
“After the initial buzz, alcohol usually makes me sharper.”
“Lucky me.”
“I just thought we could talk a little. I mean, I’m here every day, but I barely know you.”
“And I’d like to keep it that way.”
Both fury and hurt flashed in her dark eyes. “You’re such an asshole.”
“It’ll do you some good to keep remembering that,” I replied.
“Fine. You know what? I’ll share something first to establish trust.”
“You can talk until you’re blue in the face, but it ain’t going to get me to tell you shit.”
“You wanna know why I decided to become a teacher?”
“No, I fucking don’t.”