I was still seeing Marcella once a month in New York. I was still taking all my medications. Life was far from perfect, but it was good. I had released three albums in three years, so I was on a roll. The songs and their lyrics came leaking out of my pores, once I was able to release the majority of my anger. Of course, falling in love with Jonovan had something to do with it as well. Before I had been fantasizing about the love of my life when I penned songs; now I actually had one.
I was in love. I knew that for sure. But I was still having an issue giving up that kind of power to another human being. Daddy liked Jonovan a lot, but he was skeptical about my ability to make it work. I’m sure he desired that for me but, like me, he was a realist. He was hitting his midseventies, so he was ready to start slowing down in regards to travel and exploring new business interests. It had long stopped being about making money and had become more about remaining active. I could tell that he was growing weary, but he had lived ten lifetimes in one.
Jonovan’s father died in the spring of 2014. He took it extremely hard, but I was there for him every step of the way. I helped him pick out his father’s casket and suit and sang “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton, a song written about the tragic death of his own son, Conor, after he fell from a fifty-third-story window in New York in 1991. The funeral was well attended and it was when a lot of the media found out that we were dating. Up until then, since I wouldn’t go to that many places, not that many people knew. It wasn’t a secret, but I didn’t feel the need to talk about my personal business, nor did I want others interfering with my happiness.
It would be a long road, but I was looking forward to my next phase of life. I had made it through the most difficult phase, which was not about other people misunderstanding me but more about a lack of understanding of self. Thanks to Marcella, Jonovan, Daddy, and even the somewhat of a closure that I had gotten from my mother, I had more clarity than I had ever had before. The most valuable thing that I learned is that sometimes when things seem like they are falling apart, they might actually be falling into place.
I also felt like two people were watching carefully over me.