“Why are you all up in my business?” Hannah asked, getting angry. “Have I asked you for shit, to do shit, or for any shitty-ass advice?” She paused and waited for Sebastian to answer. He seemed offended. “That’s what I thought. We’re cool and all but that’s only because you hang with Nigel. He’s my fam. But don’t get it twisted. I don’t need your validation or cosignature on a damn thing I do with my life.”
“Damn, Hannah, chill,” Nigel stated with disdain. “Sebastian didn’t mean any harm.”
Hannah glared at Nigel. “I don’t know if you two are fucking or what, but he needs to leave me alone. And he damn sure better leave Caprice alone.”
Nigel gathered up his coat and scarf off the armchair. “Maybe we should go.”
“Maybe you should,” Shayne said. “This is getting out of hand.”
Hannah and Sebastian stared at each other as Nigel got Sebastian’s things as well. Then Sebastian said one word that set me off: “Bitch!”
Now the word “bitch” was acceptable in some instances, and I had grown to understand that, even at my age. Sometimes it was used as a term of endearment or an acknowledgment of being fierce. But when Sebastian straight up called Hannah a bitch and then followed it up with a sneer on his face, something within me snapped in two.
I had had “outbursts” before but this time was different. I leaped over the coffee table and landed on Sebastian’s chest as I knocked him backward onto the floor. I started scratching at his face and was determined to rip one of his eyeballs out if I could.
I heard Hannah scream and Nigel and Crispin pulled me off Sebastian, who was flailing around on the floor like a fish out of water. I tried to kick him in the privates—I was not sure what stage of transition he was in, but I was kicking at whatever was there—and the adrenaline in my body upticked a notch as I screamed, “I’ve got your bitch! Don’t you talk to Hannah like that, you fucking wildebeest!”
Sebastian still seemed shocked as he stood with some help from Shayne, and was noticeably shaken. Even though he was now a man, he was scared like the female he used to be. I didn’t give a fuck what he was or was not; no one was going to talk to Hannah like that.
“Something is seriously wrong with you,” Sebastian said to me as Nigel and Crispin let me go. “I can’t believe you attacked me.”
“You better be glad they pulled me off you!” I lashed out. “You say some more shit about Hannah and you’ll be taking a dirt nap!”
Hannah came over to me and tried to console me. “It’s okay. They’re leaving. They are all leaving,” she said, making her point clear.
“I should call the police on you, press charges,” Sebastian said, still ashamed about getting his ass kicked. “See how you like that.”
“No, find your center,” Nigel said to Sebastian as he took him by the elbow. “You know good and damn well you can’t call no police up in here.”
Sebastian sighed, yanking away from Nigel. “Says who?”
“Says common damn sense.” Nigel started toward the front door. “Let’s just go.”
Everyone said their quick good-byes, except for Sebastian, who stomped out without another word, and Hannah put on the five dead bolts behind them. She turned to me. “What was that all about? You could’ve ripped his eyes out.”
“That’s exactly what I was trying to do,” I admitted. Then I slumped down onto the floor. “I’m not sure what came over me. I’m sorry. Sometimes I lose control. I hope I didn’t inherit my mother’s mental issues. I often wonder about it, but no one would ever take me to see a therapist.”
Hannah sat down in front of me, Indian-style. “They never got you any therapy after . . .”
I glanced into her eyes and ran my index finger over my scar. “After my mother cut up my face? No, not really. Other than DEFACS asking a bunch of questions before making Grandma my legal guardian. My mother got locked up in a cuckoo house obviously, so they considered it case closed. Gave me some stitches and that was that.”
“Don’t you want to call her? Let her know you’re all right?”
“If I do that, she’ll try to convince me to come back. I can’t go back. Not after what happened at homecoming.”
Hannah took a deep breath. “About that. I’ve been thinking. You shouldn’t let that go. You should go back—I’ll go with you—and make them pay for what they did to you. Don’t let them just get away with it. Don’t let them go on with their lives, like nothing happened. They need to pay.”