"I did have to dig a bit." He massaged her temples with sensitive fingertips. "Think you can go back to sleep now?"
"I think so. I feel as if I've just set down a boulder I've been carrying for years." Yet though Laura was relaxed, and even content, it was a long time before she slept again.
The fury and hatred she had denied for fifteen years had lost some of their power now that she had faced them, and it was possible to think of her father with kindness. More that that, with love. Yes, he had been wickedly wrong to kill himself as he did, but he and Tatyana had been victim of their natures, torn by forces that raged beyond control.
It wasn't difficult for Laura to understand her parents. After ail, she'd inherited their dangerous capacity for wildness. At least her father's devastating example had demonstrated the dangers of passion. For that, she supposed she should be grateful.
When she finally slept, she had a new dream. In its way, it was as alarming as her Russian nightmare, though it was far more enjoyable. She was in the chapel of the hidden temple, where men and women celebrated the many forms of union .
But this time Laura was one of the lithe-bodied women who gave herself with such abandon, and the man whose strong body joined with hers was Ian. The sensual pleasure that she feared and craved surged through her. It was a rage of irresistible rapture, both beautiful and terrible, and it bound her, body and soul, to the man in her arms.
Once more she woke with tears in her eyes, and this time she did not fall asleep again.
Chapter 13
As their horses began the descent to Cambay, Laura scanned the streets and buildings that spread into the distance. "The cantonment is enormous. Of course, even a small military station is large by the standards of civil administrators. Were you always posted here?"
"No, for the first nine years the 46th was stationed in Ferozepore, on the edge of the Punjab. I was delighted, of course." Ian's smile was sardonic. "There were plenty of opportunities for action, and at nineteen I was mad keen for a taste of glory.''
"I gather that war didn't live up to your expectations?"
Ian was silent for so long that Laura thought that he wouldn't reply. The closer they had gotten to Cambay, the quieter he had become.
But as they finished descending from the hills and rode onto the plain, he said, "War is incredibly ugly and often pointless, and it brings out both the best and the worst of human nature. With life and death the stakes, war is the ultimate game, the supreme test of courage and honor. That's why it never goes out of fashion. Once my illusions wore off, I found no joy in battle. Yet I can't bring myself to regret having experienced it."
It was a brief, piercing glimpse into a world that had been inhabited not only by Ian, but by Laura's father and uncles. Unsure what she expected to learn, she said, "Would you have given the same answer three years ago?"
"Three years ago, my simple mind was never disturbed by deep thought or ambivalence," he said. Pointing to a road on the left, he continued, "We turn here. That's my brother's bungalow under the trees."
It was a spacious, pleasant-looking place. "Will we be staying long?" she asked. "I wouldn't mind sleeping in the same bed for several nights in a row."
"Three days should be enough to take care of the basic social obligations," Ian said tersely.
Laura was uneasy about meeting the first member of Ian's family. Though he had assured her the Camerons would love her, Laura was uncomfortably aware that a peer of the realm could have made a much better match than with an orphaned, Anglo-Russian female of unremarkable face and nonexistent fortune. Though Ian's injury had made it impossible for him to marry in the usual way, no one would know that. His friends and family would think that Laura was an odd choice, possibly a designing female who had tricked Ian into marriage.
Sharply she told herself to stop worrying about what other people might think of her. They were married, and she didn't regret it. She didn't think Ian did, either.
They reined in their horses in front of the bungalow. Ian dismounted and went to assist Laura down. Before he reached her, the front door swung open and a young man in a scarlet-coated uniform bounded down the steps. "Ian! Glad to see that you've made it back. Did you have a successful trip?"
Though the newcomer had darker hair and a more compact build, Laura had no trouble identifying him as Ian's brother, for there was a strong facial resemblance. However, the grin on David's face was uncomplicated, quite different from Ian's guarded expressions.
"Very successful, David," Ian said, shaking his brother's hand with obvious pleasure. "Not only did I find Pyotr's niece, but I married her. Let me introduce you to my wife, Laura."