Puzzled by his seriousness, she said, "Of course."
"You have said that you don't wish to marry, ever. Forgive me for being intrusive, but is it because you..." He paused to search for words before saying carefully, "you wish to avoid the... the physical side of marriage?"
Laura felt the blood drain from her face. Dear God, she knew he was perceptive, but how had he guessed that? Stiffly she said, "That is really none of your business, Major Cameron."
He raised one hand. "Please, bear with me. I know the question is an unforgivable impertinence, but I have a good reason for asking. I started in the wrong place by talking about finances. I should have begun by explaining why your feelings about marriage are important to me. I'll do that now." He halted, strain visible in his face. "But first, I'd like your word that you won't tell anyone what I'm going to reveal."
Laura stared, unable to guess where this strange conversation was going. "Unless you're going to confess to a crime, you have my promise."
He turned away, his broad shoulders rigid under his dark coat. "While I was in prison, I was severely injured during a beating. I am... no longer capable of marital relations."
She gasped, horrified at the revelation, and at what it was costing him to tell her about it. "Are you sure?"
"Months have passed since my escape and there has been no improvement," he said flatly. "I'm not the man I was, and I've accepted that I never will be again."
Tears stung her eyes. No wonder she had never felt the least trace of desire emanating from him. All of the time she had been quietly lusting after him, he had been trapped in his own solitary hell. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
He swung around to face her. "I didn't tell you because I wanted your pity," he said harshly. "I told you because I want to marry you. In order to properly evaluate my proposal, you must know the truth about me."
If Laura had been prone to swooning, she would have done so. Instead she lifted the teacup she still held and took a gulp. Then another. Feebly she said, "You want to marry me?"
"Yes. Am I right that you would refuse me if I was capable of... normal marital relations?"
"You're right. I would never accept such a proposal." Her brows drew together. "Are you suggesting that we contract a marriage of convenience? That we would go our own separate ways, but I would have the protection of your name?"
"No, I mean a real marriage in every way but one." His smile had a bitter edge. "There are some who would say that physical intimacy is the purpose and bedrock of marriage, and perhaps they are right.
"But marriage is more than the procreation of children. It's also companionship, support, and shelter from a hard world. There are many marriages where husband and wife cease to share a bed, but the bonds of matrimony still hold. I care for you a great deal, Laura, and you seem to enjoy my company. I hope—I pray—that might be a solid foundation for marriage."
She swallowed hard, too confused to know how she felt about his proposal. "Is what you're suggesting even legal?"
"Non-consummation is grounds for annulling a marriage," he admitted, "but whose business is it what we do—or don't do—in the privacy of our own bedchamber?"
"It may be no one else's business." She finished her tea and carefully set the cup down. "But it doesn't seem quite right somehow."
"It would be different from most marriages," he agreed. "Yet different doesn't automatically mean wrong."
"That's true." She considered, her brows drawing together. "A marriage such as you're suggesting might be... possible."
His expression eased. "I'm glad you're not refusing out of hand. But I don't want you to accept unless you fully understand what you would be giving up. At its best, physical love is perhaps the closest mortals can come to heaven."
Laura grimaced as the indelible memory of her parents' violence flickered through her mind. "I wouldn't know about that, but I do know that passion can also be beastly and destructive. I want no part of it."
"You must be very sure of that," he warned, "for if you marry me, you'll lose the opportunity to change your mind. It might be unjust of me, but I don't think I would be a complaisant husband if you decided to take a lover."
"Blunt words, Major," she said coolly. "Give me credit for knowing my own mind. Or are you trying to undermine your case?"
"I'm trying to be honest, for a marriage between us will have no chance without honesty." He crossed the clearing and knelt on one knee before her. His gaze searching, he said, "It's too soon to talk of love, Laura, but I hope you'll give my proposal serious thought. We are uniquely suited to each other, for you wish to avoid physical intimacy and I am incapable of it. If we care enough about each other to take the chance, perhaps we can build something deeply rewarding between us."