Dustin frowned. “Haley, are you okay? You’re white as a sheet. Are you sick?”
My chest tightened. I wanted to confide in Dustin, to beg him to save me from my personal hell, but I was terrified. Jude has proven to be a very dangerous man. I wouldn’t want him to hurt Dustin. I had to get through this alone.
“I’m fine,” I lied and forced a smile. “I really am. It was nice seeing you again … last time.”
“You don’t look fine.” He paused. “Tell you what. I’ll leave if you give me your number again. I misplaced it. Please, let’s keep in touch as friends.”
The doors to the restaurant slid open and Jude entered but his gaze was fixed on his phone, maybe reading a text.
My heart started to thump so hard my chest hurt. I tried to swallow but my throat was too dry. “Dustin, please …” Tears choked my voice.
Looking suddenly suspicious, Dustin turned to look at Jude for a second, then he shrugged and walked away before Jude saw him.
I dabbed the sweat off my upper lip with a napkin and sank deeper into my chair with both relief and fear.
Suddenly Jude was standing at our table, gazing down at me. Was there some chance that he had seen Dustin? In my mind, I could already see us back home, I could feel the pain of his beatings.
“You’re so beautiful.” He shoved his phone into his pocket. “Sometimes I can’t believe you’re mine. Forever.”
I nodded but said nothing.
He stretched out his hand, and having no other choice, I reached for it, just the way I had done for our first dance at our wedding.
He led me to the dance floor on the far side of the restaurant. He pulled me to him, his cheek pressed hard against mine, his hand gentle on my lower back, his lips close to my ear. “We are meant to be together. Nothing will ever come between us.”
I said nothing, just followed his lead. I allowed him to lead me right into hell and there seemed no ticket back.
When the music faded, he kissed my cheek and just held me. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he whispered. “You make me hurt you, you know that? When you disobey me, I feel like you don’t love me. Just be a good girl and I’ll take care of you.”
Take care of me? He must have a twisted idea of what that meant. When I walked into his house and his life three years ago, I thought I was safe. He had made me feel safe, fooled me into trusting him. And then he snatched all that away.
I squeezed my eyes shut to hide my pain from the other couples on the dance floor. When I opened them again, through the moisture, I saw Dustin, standing in the doorway of the restaurant. From a distance I detected the confused look on his face. I blinked the tears from my eyes.
He turned to walk out. A tear trickled down my cheek. Would I ever see him again? Would I get the chance to tell him what I was going through, ask him to help? Or could I really do it alone? By pushing him away, I had made my decision. I was on my own. I had wanted to take my time, to plan my escape, but staying with Jude even for one more day would kill me. I’d give myself a week. Just one week and then I’d be gone.
When the music died, he led me out of the hotel restaurant and helped me into the limo. He didn’t wait until we got home before he ripped my clothes off and raped me, covering my mouth with his hand to muffle my screams. Why didn’t the driver hear me?
When we arrived home, he ran me a bath and scrubbed my back. He was gentle in bed too, holding me and kissing my face, trying to offer me comfort I didn’t want from him.
The only thing that got me through the night was knowing that I had a plan. When he fell asleep, I tiptoed downstairs and called Diana. I accepted her offer of help.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Saturday morning, before he left for an emergency meeting at the office, Jude placed a single white calla lily next to me on the bed. The flower I carried on our wedding day. It felt like a lifetime ago. He kissed me on the nose and whispered into my ear that he loved me. I tried hard not to recoil from his touch and his presence. But if I wanted to leave him without another bruise, I had to pretend I loved him, that I’d forgiven him.
As soon as the door downstairs slammed, I called Lin and told her to take the day off, then I gazed out the window, watching his car roll out of its parking space. I waited another five minutes until it was a mere dot in the distance.
I had planned to leave on Sunday, but if I got everything I needed today, I’d be on my way. Spending even one more night with him would be unbearable. Of course, leaving him so suddenly increased my chances of making mistakes and possibly leaving behind a trail for him to follow.
As I barged into his office, my legs shaking and breath coming in quick gasps, I forced myself to stay positive, to only focus on how it would feel to fall asleep tonight without feeling his hot breath on my cheek, or his hand between my thighs. I had to try.