CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I pulled myself up in bed and rested my head against the cushioned headboard, listening to the toilet flush in the master bathroom. When the door opened and Jude walked back in the room, still naked, I drew my knees to my body and wrapped my arms around them.
Jude lifted the covers and slipped in beside me. “What’s up with all this sulking you’ve been doing lately? One would think you’re unhappy.”
I bit my bottom lip. “I am, Jude. I—”
“What the fuck do you have to be unhappy about? I love you, I give you everything. What more do you want?” He fixed me with a withering glance.
I inhaled the smell of his cologne and bile rolled inside the pit of my stomach. “You can love me, Jude. Love me all you want.” I shook my head. “But please don’t control me. It’s humiliating being followed around or asking you for money for every little thing.” I yanked back the sheets and went to stand at the window, far from him just in case he lashed out.
The trip to Paris two weeks ago was forgotten and I was back in a life I didn’t want, a life I was chained to by the secrets he kept on my behalf.
“You brought that upon yourself. You betrayed me.” His voice was low now. He was on the verge of erupting again. He had been doing a lot of that lately. But as I watched his face, it softened, the hardness just a memory in the faint lines. “I love you, Haley. But I can’t trust you anymore.”
A surge of anger flooded my being and the words rolled off my tongue before I could filter them. “Your love is suffocating me.”
Silence flooded the room, making my ears ring.
“What did you just say?” Jude got out of bed and barreled toward me. “Did you just say I’m suffocating you, Haley?”
Pushed into a corner, I gave a small nod and immediately wished I hadn’t. I’d have loved to snatch the words from the air and swallow them back down. But the damage was done.
“My love for you smothers you. Is that what you’re saying?” He tipped his head to the side in question, his left hand gripping my elbow hard for a moment before releasing.
I blinked and he stumbled back as if I’d hit him. I watched the hurt quench the fire in his eyes, and then he sank back down onto the bed. I wanted to go and comfort him, but I was too scared to touch him. My words had cut him to the quick. I knew things would never be the same again.
He dropped his head into his hands and stayed like that for twenty whole minutes. Afraid to move, or even breathe, I stayed put, still naked, until my legs felt numb.
When he finally looked up, his eyes were red. He didn’t say a word to me as he walked out of the room. He didn’t sleep at home that night, which made me nervous and anxious at the same time. I told myself that maybe he just went to spend the night at a hotel to give me space. Space was exactly what I needed.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I needed to tell someone what was going on before I shattered within. I had no friends, but Diana Maliano, my hairstylist whom I’d known for a year, was close to being one.
Jude discouraged me from forming friendships, as when I let people in, I came closer to them discovering my secret. I had agreed at the time, thinking he had my best interests at heart. But now that my faith in him and us was being put to the test, I needed someone else to turn to, someone from the outside.
As soon as I entered Gloss Hair Salon, I instantly felt a weight roll off my shoulders. I inhaled the scents of hair sprays, shampoos, and conditioners. The smell of freedom. The salon was one of the best in Madison and operated on two floors. Over the past weeks, it had become my refuge.
Luckily I had been able to convince Nolan to wait for me outside.
Diana was already ready for me in front of her station on the ground floor, wearing a simple, green summer dress that complimented her chocolate eyes and was short enough to show off her long, tanned legs. Her auburn hair was teased and tied into a disheveled but trendy bun on top of her head. Even in her late thirties, she looked fresh and stylish enough to be mistaken for a twenty-something-year-old.
I didn’t look bad myself. In a yellow knee-length, boat neck flare dress, cork sandals, and my hair falling in waves down my back, I had nailed the summer look. But my insides resembled muddy water that cleared the longer I spent inside Gloss.
Since I’d had her do my hair only four days ago, my sleek, pony-tailed hair didn’t need her magic fingers but I pretended it did, and of course she needed the money.
Although we never went out for a coffee or dinner or whatever else friends did, she was always happy to see me, to tell me about her two little boys and how well they were adjusting after the divorce to her millionaire ex-husband who had left her without a penny to her name. She used to have everything I had, but she lost it all in the divorce, leaving her to start her life from scratch.