Shiver(95)
“What a minute.” She caught her breath at the unprovoked attack and got to her feet.
“No, you wait. You sent him away twelve years ago when you knew, you knew, you were carrying his child. You kept Fox from him all these years. Blamed him for killing Dad, when you knew Earl had always used him like a pawn.” He swore under his breath. “I even fell for it. I believed, too, and blamed him for things he didn’t do. But what you did today was unforgivable.”
“You didn’t see him. He would have killed Roland with his bare hands.” The killing rage in Aidan’s eyes as he beat his uncle had replayed over and over in her mind all day. She’d seen the hate, the violence, the bloodlust the Hartes were famous for. She shied away from it all this time, not wanting those influences to touch Fox.
“I would have done the same thing in his place. He was protecting you. Fox. Us. Roland had promised to kill Aidan. Would you rather that he was dead instead of fighting for his life?”
“That wasn’t fighting for his life. That was taking one.”
“Have you ever been in a fight? Hand to hand combat? You’re pumped with adrenaline. Drowning in testosterone. It’s kill or be killed.” Lynx took a breath and physically tried to calm down. “You’re so afraid to lose the people you love that you would rather push Aidan away than risk losing him. You’re frozen in the past, Raven. Dad’s gone. Deal with it. And Aidan will be gone soon if you don’t do something.”
Raven took everything he said like a hit. Invisible punches landed in sensitive places. Places she didn’t want to go, didn’t want to acknowledge.
“I know Dad’s death hit you hard, but—”
“You weren’t at the hospital, Lynx. You didn’t see Dad as he gasped for breath, his lung crushed. Bleeding to death internally. He…he made me promise,” she finished weakly.
“What?” He walked up to her and firmly took her shoulders in his hands, his eyes boring into hers. “What did he make you promise?”
“That I…that I’d stay away from Aidan.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Raven entered the lodge by the back door of the kitchen. She shouldn’t be here, but she couldn’t concentrate on anything without knowing that Aidan was all right, regardless of what Lynx had said.
The kitchen was empty, which she was grateful for. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. Hurrying through the great room without making eye contact with the guests milling about, she continued down the hall to the room Aidan had been using. Quietly, she opened the door and peeked in.
The room was dark. A beam of light from the hallway sliced a path to the bed where Aidan lay under the covers. He didn’t move, so she let herself in, softly closing the door behind her. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the deep shadows. A faint beam of moonlight grazed through the snow-laden clouds, highlighting the bed from the window. She walked toward where Aidan laid, his chest bare, blankets folded down over his stomach. White bandages on his upper arm, neck, and chest glowed neon against his dark skin. His face wasn’t relaxed in sleep, in fact, it didn’t seem as though he slept at all, more as if he were past the point of exhaustion, beaten.
And she’d had a part in that.
It wasn’t only Roland who had gotten in a few jabs. While hers hadn’t left a physical mark, she’d done Aidan a fair amount of emotional damage.
She pulled the blankets up to his chin. His breathing was even and steady. Eva must have given him something to help him sleep. He had the appearance of someone heavily sedated. Raven sat on the edge of the bed, holding her breath when he moved his head toward her. She released a breath when he failed to shift again.
Silently, she sat, watching him. Her heart aching as it wanted to cradle him to her breast, curl up next to him and feel his warm body align with hers.
Was she doing the right thing?
She’d promised her dying father that she’d have nothing more to do with Aidan. But just twenty-four hours ago, she’d been in bed with him. He’d been inside of her. They’d each been a part of the other, sharing their bodies, their souls, giving the other new promises. She’d been ready to betray her dad’s dying wish in order to grant Aidan’s wishes and her own.
She wiped tears she wasn’t aware she’d been crying from her cheeks.
“Raven.”
She gasped as Aidan softly spoke her name. His eyes were closed, and it took her stumbling heart a moment to realize that he was still out cold. Could he be dreaming of her after she’d said such awful things to him?
There was so much to think about, and she was so very tired of thinking. Before she gave in and lay down next to him, she stood to leave. Not able to help herself, she smoothed back the lock of hair lying over his forehead. He needed a haircut. He just plain needed taking care of. Since he’d returned to Chatanika, he’d been caught in a trap, hit on the head, left to die in the cold, shot, and beaten.