Shiver(71)

How did she make this right?

The front door opened and closed. Raven jumped to her feet, wiping at the tears that had stolen down her cheeks. “Fox?”

“Yeah.” Fox shuffled into the room, looking so much older than his eleven, almost twelve, years.

“Honey—”

“Mom, stop. I can’t talk about this now.”

“But—”

“I’ve been angry for a long time, just kept it buried. Now it’s all bubbling to the surface.” He glanced away from her again as though it was hard looking at her. “Aidan—my dad—said that it’s better to wait to talk until I’m not so mad.” He nodded his head. “I think he’s right.”

“But—”

“I’m going to bed.” Fox turned and headed down the hall to his bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.

Raven sank to her knees, her body racked with silent sobs. She’d lost so much. She couldn’t lose her son. He was everything to her. Every decision she’d made in the last twelve years had been for his benefit. She wrapped her arms around her middle and leaned against the side of the couch, muffling her sobs.

Nothing in her life mattered but Fox. If she lost him…

She wiped her eyes. Fox was acting more mature than she was at the moment. She’d created this problem. She could have told Fox who his father was when he was a child. She could have told Aidan that he had a child.

It was a waste of time thinking of what she could have done. She had her reasons. Real, big, scary reasons. And she knew if she had to choose to do it all over again, she’d do the same thing. Her biggest mistake was underestimating Earl Harte.

She wouldn’t make that mistake with Aidan.





CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Aidan wrangled his emotions and had them corralled by the time he’d walked to the lodge from Raven’s place. He’d had a moment of confusion when he realized he didn’t have a ride back to Earl’s. He hoped he could catch a ride from someone at the lodge or spend the night in the room Fiona had been loaning him. Lynx would probably jump at the chance, just to keep Aidan from hanging around the place. Besides, he needed to have a talk with Pike.

He opened the door to the restaurant, the heat hitting him in the face, a severe contrast to the freezing cold outside. He unzipped and removed his coat as he made his way to the bar.

“Hey, Pike,” Aidan greeted the man behind the counter, who was currently filling a beer mug. He hitched onto a stool.

Pike studied him a moment, narrowing his eyes. “What else happened?”

Was he so readable? Aidan hoped Pike wasn’t seeing the emotional turmoil he’d been through this afternoon. “Someone tried to bash my head in.”

Pike scoffed. “Guess they didn’t know how hard-headed you are. Want a beer?”

“No, but a cup of coffee would be good.” He wasn’t much of a drinker. The few times he’d gotten drunk, his actions had scared him when he’d sobered up. Besides, he remembered all too clearly how chained to alcohol his mother had been.

Pike poured him a cup of coffee. “Did you get a look at who hit you?”

“Nope. Knocked me clean out. I woke up in the snow. It was hell getting inside the cabin.”

Pike slowly lowered the coffee pot back onto the burner. “Whoever is causing you trouble means business. You could have died out there.”

“Believe me, I know.” He probably owed Raven his life for showing up when she had. Great. Did she own part of his soul too? Who was he kidding, she’d always owned part of his soul.

“Want me to call Eva and have her check you out?”

“Hell no.”

Pike gave a graveled laugh. “You’re smarter than I gave you credit for.” He leaned his arms over the bar and lowered his voice. “I’ve been keeping an eye out for suspicious characters, like you suggested. As you know, most Alaskans aren’t the norm, but a few have stuck out more than others.”

“A few? How many are we talking?”

“Well, there’s this woman who checked in last week—during the week—then she came back this week. Again, during the week. We get most of our visitors on the weekend in the wintertime. Snowmobiling, snowshoeing, ice fishing. You know how it is. But this woman is alone.”

“She say why she’s here?”

“Some story about finding herself. Getting back to nature. That kind of shit.”

“Getting back to nature is all the rage now days.” Aidan took a sip of his coffee. Starbucks it wasn’t. He reached for the sugar and added enough to rot his teeth.

Pike grimaced. “Don’t I know it. But we usually get those types in summer. Who wants to get back to nature when nature, more than likely, will kill you this time of year? Besides, there’s something familiar about her. I could be wrong, but I think she strips or used to strip for the Lonely Lady.”