Shiver(20)
She glanced away. “We…uh…weren’t suited.”
It didn’t look as though she was going to say any more on the subject. “I asked Sonya to marry me.”
Raven looked at him again. “She’s your fiancée then?”
“No. She didn’t want to marry me. She’s in love with another man.”
“But you’re still in love with her?”
Was he? Being back here and seeing Raven had tipped his world. He’d tried for the last twelve years to forget her and her family, transferring a lot of what he felt for them to Sonya and her family—his fish camp neighbors in the summertime when he commercial fished in Bristol Bay.
“Don’t answer that,” Raven said, standing, and smoothing her hands down her jeans.
He reached out and grabbed her arm. “I thought I loved her. But it wasn’t a strong love.” She tried to pull away from him, but he didn’t let go. For some reason it was too important that she know. “I wanted the kind of love that we had with her, but it didn’t work.” He paused, then added quietly, “She wasn’t you.”
Her eyes flicked away from his, and she wetted her lips. “I need to go and see what’s keeping Fox. You must be starved.”
He released her, and she ran from the room.
Why had he said that? He had no chance with her.
Not when his father had killed hers.
She wasn’t you.
Raven ran from Aidan’s room, gasping. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart pounded and her palms sweated.
She wasn’t you.
Did he still care for her? After all these years? After all she’d done? What was she thinking? There was no room for Aidan in her life. Not with the past between them. She couldn’t allow there to be. Fox had to be considered. She’d been very careful with him, raised her son to be different than his genetics. The part of him that had come from Aidan, and Aidan’s parents, Earl and Marjorie Harte. There was also Roland Harte—Earl’s brother—to be considered, who liked to visit during the winter, trailing mischief and mayhem in his tracks. Roland had also done jail time, hadn’t he? How many Hartes had spent time in jail? Earl was a murderer. Dangerous, mean, and cunning. She’d seen that same kind of cunning in Fox. She didn’t want any of the Hartes’ unsavory qualities to negatively influence her son. She’d made life-altering decisions based on that reasoning.
Raven entered the kitchen and found Fox and Fiona along with her grandmother, Coho, who sat at the table beading an intricate Athabascan design into a leather band while Fiona helped Fox put together a tray of food.
“Hey, Gran,” Raven greeted, dropping into a seat across from her grandmother.
“Camai, birdie. A few exciting days you’ve had.” Coho frowned over her bifocals. “I had to hear these things from others, you understand.”
“I’m sorry, Gran, but I have been busy taking care of that man.”
“And how is Aidan doing? I have missed him over the years. Such an interesting boy. So unlike his black-hearted father and weak-minded mother.” She sighed and threaded beads onto her needle. “It’s nice to know he didn’t follow in his parents’ footsteps.”
“What do you mean?” Raven asked. How would Coho know what Aidan had done with his life? She didn’t even know.
“I thought you knew? Fox has known for years.”
“Grandma Great,” Fox rushed over. “You weren’t—”
“Oh, that’s right.” She laughed. “I wasn’t supposed to tell. Oops.” She smiled, acting forgetful, but Raven knew she was anything but. Coho’s mind was as sharp as the needle she pierced through the leather band.
“What weren’t you supposed to tell?” Raven looked to her grandmother and then to her son, who glanced at his feet. “What’s going on?”
“Better come clean, grandson,” Coho said out of the corner of her month as she continued to sew beads into the leather strip.
Fox fidgeted but glanced at Raven when he spoke. “I know who Aidan Harte is.”
Raven’s breath caught. Her son knew Aidan was his father? How? Nobody knew. She’d never told a living soul.
Fox went over to his backpack and pulled out a book, laying it on the table in front of her. “Mr. Harte is a famous graphic novelist. See, he writes a series of novels that feature the powers of the totem.”
“This is what you didn’t want me to know?” Raven frowned. So Fox didn’t know Aidan was his father? The light in the room seemed to dim as Raven’s heart tried to regain its normal rhythm.
“Uh, you probably wouldn’t consider them appropriate reading material.” Fox hesitated to begin. “But they so are,” he rushed on. “He writes about the battle between good and evil and good always wins, though sometimes it looks like there is no way they can, but he always makes it happen.”