Watching him, all I could stare at were those eyes. Those eyes I always thought looked like Stephen’s. How could I have been so wrong? He looked nothing like Stephen now. I didn’t know why I never saw it before.
“It’s time to finally make you mine!” Simeon lunged and I screamed with everything I had. The air around us became thick as an energy filled the whole room, vibrating and thundering. Simeon was gone. All that was left was a fuzzy outline of where his body once was.
I blinked and waited, but didn’t know why. I was trying to hide in the corner of the bed, hoping it would swallow me up and carry me to safety.
But I was safe now, wasn’t I? This wasn’t just some evil magic trick Simeon had somehow conjured up, was it?
Staring around the room, my heart pounded as I sat, waiting for this return. All I could hear was the sound of my breathing as I fought the urge to be sick.
He had his hands on me.
After a few more minutes, everything seemed to go deathly quiet. Simeon was gone, and I breathed a sigh of relief at the thought he wasn’t coming back.
Rising shakily off my bed, I jumped in the shower and scrubbed my whole body. I scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin turned red and raw. No matter how many times I washed, I could still feel him, still hear him asking me to open my legs for him.
In one heaving jerk, I threw up. All the evidence of my drinking came lurching out. I welcomed it, though. I welcomed everything that represented him to be forced out of me. It was almost as though I was purifying myself after everything he had done.
Once my stomach was empty, I leaned my head against the tiles and closed my eyes. I was exhausted, drained. I was wondering how I could possibly move. How could I will myself to put one foot in front of the other?
It was then I felt it—the tingles. I knew Stephen was around. “Stephen,” I whispered closing my eyes. “I have to remember. I have to remember.” I gripped my eyes shut as I felt his every caress.
He was willing me to move. I could feel his gentle hand guiding me out of the shower. I turned the tap off and grabbed a towel. I dried myself and walked back into my bedroom. I ripped all the sheets off, keeping the one I originally wrapped around myself.
I slid down onto my bed and lay my head on my pillow. I could still feel Stephen with me, holding me. “Stay with me,” I whispered, feeling the warmth of him surrounding me.
Closing my eyes, I let the exhaustion of the evening take over. I let the euphoria of feeling Stephen so close wash over me as I slid into the most wonderful, peaceful sleep.
Chapter 22
I knew I was dreaming again because I was at that bloody door. I could never seem to escape its presence. It haunted me day and night, taunting me.
I kicked and screamed and, of course, it didn’t budge. I could hear the laughter. Somehow, it seemed like I was on the precipice of something monumental. I could see it there. I could almost reach out and touch it. But, like always, I was being torn from its clutches. It was never going to let me in.
Sliding down to the floor by the door, I placed my head in my hands, which was always something I did in this dream. Time and time again, I wasted my energy trying to open something that was never going to open.
Suddenly, I heard my uncle’s voice, “Why don’t you just try to open it? Find the handle and turn it like a normal door.”
Rising my head, I looked up. Surely it wasn’t as simple as that. Surely, after all this time, that wasn’t all I had to do. Is there even a handle on this door?
Well, there’s only one way to find out!
Rising, I turned to face the door again. Instead of using brute force, I tried to use some intelligence.
Placing my hand on the wooden frame, I felt all around the edges. I got to where a handle should be and, to my utter amazement, there was one there!
Gasping, I stepped back. It was almost as if it had been there this whole time, laughing at me. Had it really been there and I hadn’t noticed? Surely this would have sprung up before? Surely I hadn’t been that stupid.
Placing my hand on the handle, I hesitated. I had come this far and didn’t want to turn back now. I couldn’t turn back now. But what if I turned the handle and nothing happened? The thought scared the shit out of me.
The laughter intensified, causing me to close my eyes. With my ear to the door, one hand on the handle and the other palming the wood, all I could do was listen.
There really was no other way. You had to turn it. It was your destiny. You had to do it for Stephen.
There was no other option. Taking a deep breath, I knew I had to be brave. I knew I had to know one way or the other. There was just no knowing whether I would wake up in a few seconds.
It was now or never.
I braced myself as I felt my hand push the handle down. I heard it click. Afraid to move, I took slow, deep breaths, wondering whether I would get this far, then have the door pushed closed again.