Her Guardians Lost(58)

My heart ached when I thought of Stephen. “All things considered, I’m okay. The shoulder is healing nicely. I have the occasional twinge to remind me it’s still there, but it’s getting easier by the day.”

Hamish leaned forward to take a brief sip of his tea. “I bet it’s awkward trying to get things done.”

I chuckled. “‘Awkward’ being the operative word,” I huffed. “I am getting used to it, though.”

“How is Stephen coping with the news? I bet he was shocked, too, wasn’t he?”

I thought back to the horror we all felt when we found out Kali was, in fact, Elizabeth. “That’s a bit of an understatement, Hamish. I knew she liked him, she told me that much when we first met him, but I didn’t know the extent of it. When she found out he liked me instead, she was a little off at first, but then became rather nonchalant about the whole thing.”

I thought back to the memories of when we were children. Kali was so sweet and innocent back then. She played with me like any other child would. Little did I know she had the mind of an adult and, not only that, she harboured secrets that would, inevitably, lead to my destruction.

“You can’t help who you’re attracted to.” Hamish exhaled, bringing me back to the present.

“That you can’t, Hamish. You’re right. Sometimes, it’s good; other times, it’s bad. It depends on who it is.

“Like me, you mean.”

I instantly regretted what I said once I saw the pain in his eyes. I didn’t want to be the cause of any pain. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, reaching his hand out to mine. “I knew what you meant.”

The first thought that came to my head was, Oh no. He’s reaching out to me. The second thought was, Shit. It’s already there. By the time he had his hand on mine, it was too late. I immediately stiffened, bracing myself for the inevitable barrage of memories to come.

Rushes of memories as a boy came to me so fast, it was hard to keep up. He had lots of friends and they all seemed like they were up to no good. He was a little tear-away when he was little—much to his parent’s dismay. They were all shocked when he announced he was becoming a police officer. I think they all thought he was bound to be on the other side of the law.

Next were the memories of him and Kali. I didn’t want to see that. I didn’t want to delve into his time with her. I was still too raw from it myself. I tried desperately to ignore them and hoped they would go away, but his memory of her was strong. He was actually falling in love with her.

“Hamish, I’m so sorry,” I said, pulling my hand away. “You were falling for her.”

His eyes widened a little, but he seemed to just accept it as fact. “Yes, I was.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Hamish. I can see it in you.” I was struggling to find the right words to say what I needed to without him finding out about me. “Your life will be so much more fulfilled if you just believe in yourself a little.”

Hamish pulled his head back a little and regarded me with an amused smile. “It’s amazing how perceptive you are, Cassie. You should have been a police officer yourself,” he chuckled.

That would have always been a bad idea. With the amount of contact police officers had on a daily basis, it would have been a recipe for disaster for me. But for Hamish…

“You would make a good detective.” I could see his future. I could see him struggling with his own demons. He wanted a promotion, but doubted he was good enough. However, I could see him getting that promotion he desired. It would be something to help heal his shattered heart.

Pulling back again, Hamish shook his head. “Nah. I don’t think so.”

Needing to give him anything I could, I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. I tried to radiate as much calm as I could in order to help make him see.

Opening my eyes, I laid my hand on his arm. “I have every faith in you, Hamish. Don’t do this because you want to show others you can. Do it for yourself. You have the qualities in you to be a good detective.”

By the look in his eyes, I could see it had worked. Even his lifeless green irises were starting to glow a little bit more. “Has anyone told you that you have this knack of making people feel like everything is going to be okay?”

Smiling inside, I knew I had done it. Lord knows how, but it seemed to work.

“Everything will be okay. Trust yourself and you’ll be fine. Trust that you can do this.” He had to know he could. It was his destiny.

“Wow. You’re really itching for me to put in for a promotion, aren’t you?”