Her Guardians Lost(54)

No, it wasn’t, the voice echoed in my head.

If it wasn’t, then what? My head grew silent, filling me with nothingness. It was almost as if the voice had given up on me. I suppose I would, too, if I was trying to get someone to remember something important.

“I shall have to think on this,” Billy piped up, making me jump a little. “Rest assured, you’re not on your own anymore, Cassie. You have us to help you now. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Smiling, I knew I had to have hope. I had to cling onto the thought that, one day, I would know everything.

“I don’t mean to digress from your heartache, Cassie, but I feel I need to tell you something, if only to see you smile for one moment.”

Taking a deep breath, I gripped his arm. “Tell me. I want to know.”

Billy took a deep breath. “Chris and I are getting married.” His smile widened, making me gasp.

“You’re getting married?” I shrieked.

“We thought it was about time. I’ve only been waiting over twenty years for this.”

“Oh, my god! Billy, that’s amazing. I’m really happy for you.”

Hugging me, he pulled away briefly, looking at my face. “See, I thought I could see it. Even if it is just for a moment.”

I was elated. The two most important people in my life were tying the knot. How could I not be happy?

“I’m absolutely filled with joy at the news, Uncle Billy. Have you set a date?”

Seeing the cheeky grin on his face, I knew he had. “Christmas day.”

“Christmas day? That’s only a few weeks from now!”

“I know. But that was the day we met twenty-five years ago.”

How could I forget? I was told the story so often that, even though I was only a baby, I felt like I was there. Billy was on his way to visiting us for Christmas. He was only a street away from our house when he passed an old phone box. It was ringing and, like most people, he answered. Little did he know his future was on the other line. Chris had obviously called the wrong number, but they started talking. He told Billy he had been trying to ring his friend to find out where a particular pub was. My uncle immediately recognized it because he frequented the place himself. Billy dutifully gave him directions and Chris was so thankful, he requested he join him and his friends later if he didn’t have plans. Billy said he did, but it was only for dinner. Once he had something to eat and visited a while, Billy left to join Chris at the pub. They hadn’t looked back since.

“You know, I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t walked past the phone box at that particular point in time. It’s amazing how a simple ring of the phone can change your life completely.”

Billy’s posture was relaxed as the memories swam in his mind. I could see the images popping into his head as he smiled. Then his smile faded. “Like that phone call I got the day your parents died. I’ve felt guilty ever since.”

Frowning, I tugged at his arm. “Why?”

He took a deep breath. “Because, Cassie, in the midst of being told my only sister had died, the only thing I felt was relief.”

The words struck me a bit. He dearly loved my mother. Those words just didn’t seem to fit. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s hard to explain, Cassie. My sister was dead, my bother-in-law was dead, and all I could think was thank God you weren’t in the car with them.”

Then I understood. I knew he would grieve over his sister. There was no doubt in my mind that he suffered for his loss.

“Selfishly, I had someone with whom I could grieve. Even if it was a six-year-old tough cookie,” he smiled. “It was unbearable losing my sister, but it would have been the death of me to lose you, Cassie.” He grew silent again, letting it all sink in. “You know, I never told you this, but when you were born and I came to visit you for the first time, it was…overwhelming for me.”

“In what way?”

“It’s silly. I mean, I knew I never wanted children of my own. I chose to live my life the way I have and I embraced the fact children wouldn’t be a part of it. It was only when I laid my eyes on you that I thought I saw what every mother sees when they first see their child…complete and utter devotion.

“From that moment on, I knew I would cherish and protect you with everything I had. I was going to be the best goddamned uncle who ever lived.”

Laughing, I placed my hand on his knee. “And now you’re going to be the best goddamned husband on the planet.”

“Do you really think so?”

I nodded. “I know so.”

“I know so, too,” a timid voice said from the hall.