Her Guardians Lost(15)

I wanted to shield Cassie. I wanted her more than anything in the world. But, most of all, I wanted her to be happy. If giving up my own happiness made her truly happy, who was I to get in the way? It would be selfish of me to be there and toy with her feelings the way I knew I was. That was why I had to let her go.

All I knew now was I had to treasure all the happy memories I took with me.

Oh, her hot chocolate. My goodness, I could taste it now. I wasn’t sure if it was the way she made it, or it naturally tasted like that. All I know was that I was hooked on the stuff, and craved a cup of it right now—made by the woman I would love forever.

“Son, why are you looking so sad?” The words made me jump. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t realise my father had entered the room.

Looking up, I saw concern on his face. I had been here a while now and my mother and father were ecstatic I was finally home. They opened their arms to me without judgment, without criticism. I was pleasantly shocked by their acceptance. Despite what I had done to Michael, they still held me in high regard.

“It’s nothing, Father. I’m just lost in thought.”

My father grabbed my shoulder and held my stare. “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”

Was I that transparent? Was I so miserably in love, it was written all over my face? I suppose it was. I was in too much pain to care.

“I don’t know why, but I feel her, Father. I feel her anguish.”

Sighing, my father took a seat beside me. “You know, Archangel Gabriel would never approve of this, Alexander.”

I smiled at my father using my given name. “You still determined to call me Alexander?”

He shook his head, frowning. “That was the name given to you, Alexander. You are not the outcast anymore. You deserve to have your real name back, especially after what you did for the one you love. That truly does make you great.”

I shook my head. “I prefer Stephen, Father.”

My father raised his eyebrow. “Why would that be?”

I smiled, remembering what Cassie said. “Because she prefers it.”

My father sighed. “That is in the past now. You have to move on and treasure everything you’ve done. You’ve done so much to make it right, Alexander. Cling to that.”

I felt my aching heart accelerate that much more. “Then why is it I feel so bad?” I whispered.

My father pondered before replying, “You have to see it this way. You truly made for all the wrong you did to Michael. You have given him a precious gift. It would seem he loves Cassie and, in turn, you have given her the one precious gift she obviously desires. You should be happy. Archangel Gabriel is certainly happy with the match.”

I cringed, thinking how much I wanted to shout out how much I loved his daughter. How much I could give to her if only they would let me. If only Cassie would let me.

Despite my pain, I smiled. “You’re right, of course. Cassie has finally found the love she’s been searching for. I’m happy for them both.”





Chapter 4



Before Michael got back, I awkwardly washed my face as quickly as I could. It felt good to get it out of my system. I still felt it, though. I felt the gripping agony within me. I felt like my whole life had ended. Why? Why did I feel this aching need, this truly gut-wrenching, pulsating notion that I was missing something important—something life-changing?

A knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts. It must be Michael with the pizza.

With a sigh and a shake of my head, I rose to answer the door. I was pleasantly surprised to see Simon. “Simon, so good to see you.” Without thinking, I came in for a hug.

He stiffened a little, then chuckled in my hair. “Well, that was quite the welcome if I ever had one.”

“I’m just happy to see you. I didn’t see you yesterday.” I motioned for Simon to come in, then set about putting the kettle on. We British liked to make tea. It was the only polite thing to do.

“Yes. Sorry I never came. Things have been a little busy lately.”

I saw the sadness in his eyes so I waved my hands towards the sofa. “Tell me what’s been happening.”

Simon sat, chuckling to himself. “Nothing gets past you, does it? I don’t want to bother you with all my problems, Cassie. You’ve been through enough.”

Shaking my head, I adjusted slightly in my seat. “You don’t understand how much I need a distraction right now, Simon. If nothing else, I really need to have my mind focused. Otherwise, I think I’ll go mad.”

Simon smiled, almost grabbing my hand before stopping himself, wincing. “Sorry. I keep forgetting. I can understand how you feel about keeping your mind occupied—in more ways than one.”