It would be much harder to escape with this woman watching her. “I don’t need a servant. Please just go.”
“I’m afraid that isn’t possible.” Sima cleared her throat. “Tell me, why did the heir choose you?”
Lilette looked past the doorway, to the ramparts. The sun was just beginning to move behind them. Her time was running out. She staggered to her feet and took a few faltering steps toward the door.
Sima was beside her in an instant. “It wears off slowly. Sit, rest. It will pass by tomorrow.”
“I don’t have time to rest,” Lilette ground out. She’d made it to the door and then stopped.
A man waited outside. At the sight of her, he started forward. Sima held out a forestalling hand. “She just wanted some fresh air. She’s coming back now.”
Though her whole body ached to fight, Lilette allowed Sima to pull her back inside and settle her on the cushions.
“You didn’t choose to be here?” Sima sounded surprised.
“No,” Lilette whispered, her heart pounding with desperation. “I did not choose it.”
Sima’s brow drew together. After a moment, she sighed. “No one ever leaves. Even those who have help.”
Lilette clenched her fists at her sides. There had to be a way. If not now—she braced herself as the fear slammed into her—then soon. “Will I ever be allowed to leave this compound?” It would be much easier to escape if she were already beyond these walls.
Sima stirred the vegetables. “Sometimes, if the hot season is especially bad and the needs of the empire are not too demanding, we go to the summer palace in the mountains at the center of the island. It is beautiful and remote enough that we are allowed to travel beyond the palace walls.” There was an undeniable hint of longing in the woman’s voice. “Even then, most concubines never leave the compound. A select few have spent time in the palace itself, if the emperor wishes it.”
Lilette knew Chen would never risk taking her from the safety of these walls. Escaping would take time and careful planning, neither of which she had. She closed her eyes and imagined herself home, sitting on the shore, the sun bleeding red as it sank into the sea’s vast waters. The images calmed her.
Sima set the food before Lilette, who refused to look at it. The woman sat on her heels, her hands resting on her legs. “Will you not eat, madame?”
Lilette moved the food farther away so she wouldn’t have to smell it. “I am not well.”
“Did you eat all the food I left for you earlier? The tray was empty.”
Lilette sighed. She couldn’t tell the woman about the food stuffed in her robes. “It was delicious, thank you.”
Sima sniffed. “If I am to teach you court manners, I must know more about you. Might I ask you questions, madame?”
Lilette wiped the sweat from her face. “I suppose.”
Sima closed the brazier vents to snuff out the fire. “You speak as a Harshen, though clearly you are not. Where are you from?”
Lilette took a deep breath, determined not to let her emotions surface. “From one of the smaller islands.” She didn’t tell her about being born a Kalari—it was not a story she told. Ever.
“What was it called?”
Lilette’s head was beginning to hurt. She rubbed her temples. “Calden.”
Sima cocked her head to the side. “You do not look like a Harshen.”
Lilette’s stomach rolled inside her. Groaning, she pressed her hand to her middle.
“Madame? If I am to instruct you, I must know where to begin.”
Lilette’s mouth watered uncontrollably. She held her fingers over her lips and tried to concentrate on keeping the vomit down. “I came to Calden Island when I was very young. A man named Fa took me in and raised me as his daughter. He died a few weeks ago.”
She tried and failed to push the memory of his death from her mind. So much blood that it had stained the surface of the sea. She could taste it as she had dove down to kill the eel that had bitten through an artery in Fa’s arm.
Sima watched her carefully. “Why did the heir choose you as his concubine?”
Lilette didn’t understand what these questions had to do with her learning the proper etiquette. “Doesn’t matter.”
For the first time, Sima met Lilette’s gaze. “Have you performed all your duties as a concubine yet?”
Lilette swallowed her outrage and tried to rise to her feet, but she was suddenly dizzy. She stumbled and threw her hands out to catch herself, but there was nothing to hold onto. She tripped on the cushions and crashed into the brazier, burning her hands and spilling hot coals across the floor.