Moments later, he grabbed a quilt from the back of a rocking chair and threw it over one arm. He gently grabbed Lindsey with the other and nodded for Alex to follow.
She let him lead her, cautiously. Where was he going?
Several yards from the house, Ryan stopped beneath an old weeping willow tree, her branches reaching out so far, she created a huge shaded area beneath.
He spread the quilt on the ground. “Everyone sit. The weather is fantastic, the birds are chirping, the breeze is cooling. Let’s relax under this tree and just get to know each other better.”
Seemed reasonable. Sort of. As long as no one touched her she might even be able to keep her head on straight.
Alex spoke first when they’d all situated themselves. “Your thoughts will come through to us clearer and clearer as the days go by. It isn’t preventable. It seems we don’t even have to make love to you for the bond to grow on its own. However, you have a mysterious aura about you. Something’s happened in your past to prevent you from letting us in.” He paused.
“What Alex is trying to say, hon, is that we want you to talk to us. Let us help. Whatever it is, we can handle it, work it out together.”
“Hardly.” She nearly laughed at them. Even Barbara couldn’t quite get her to release herself from the bonds of her childhood. How were these two … wolves going to accomplish that?
“I feel your doubt,” Alex started. “You have no reason to trust us. But we are asking you to try. Just give it a shot. What can it hurt? You might find out we aren’t such bad guys after all. Well, me anyway. Not sure about this Neanderthal over here.” He chuckled and gave Ryan a quick glance.
Lindsey knew he was trying to lighten the mood. She leaned back and released a breath as she lay on the blanket staring up at the branches above her blowing in the breeze.
She needed to talk. As soon as the frog cleared from her throat. She’d never told a man about her upbringing. And not even very many friends. Sure, Kara and Jess knew. They’d had a strong friendship ever since meeting freshman year. But even they didn’t know the extent of the twisted life she’d led.
Both men waited, neither saying another word.
She breathed, in and out, long deep inhales and exhales, fortifying herself for what needed to be said.
“This isn’t about not trusting you two, or even how genuine and honest you are. You’re both wonderful. God only knows why I’m so attracted to you … both. But, the reality is I’m not wired for a threesome. Hell, I’m not even wired for a regular relationship. I’ve been seeing a shrink for four years just to get to the point I can even consider having a normal life. Then you throw this at me.
“Don’t you see how … unnatural this is? My head is at war with my heart. Sure, I want you, both of you. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. But it isn’t normal. Who wakes up one morning and suddenly wants two men?”
Alex cleared his throat. “We’re sorry you’ve been put in this position, Lin, baby. Really we are. Even with our upbringing and outlook on life, this is a bit unorthodox for us too.”
Ryan interjected, “Believe me, hon, when I first realized you were meant for me and another man was also involved, I saw red. Didn’t want to share you. Alex didn’t either. Thus the standoff in the kitchen that night. We were … shocked, for lack of a better term.”
“But this sometimes happens, as you know with Kara. And now that Ryan and I have had time to talk, get to know each other, we’ve bonded, no pun intended. We recognize we all three need each other. As weird as it initially seemed, you and I wouldn’t be complete without Ryan. We each have something to bring to the relationship, and trust me when I say you won’t regret this. We swear to spend the rest of our lives making you the happiest woman in the world.”
Lindsey shivered, kept her gaze to the sky and the rustling branches above her head. The peacefulness of the trees’ leaves almost grounded her in a way.
“Tell us,” Ryan mumbled.
She knew what they wanted, needed.
A few moments passed while she wrapped her mind around what she was going to say.
“I was an only child… I don’t think my mother knew who my father was,” she began. “She was young when she got pregnant with me, twenty. She’d been in college, her junior year. Even though it was nineteen ninety, her own mother was appalled as though it were the fifties.
“She pulled my mother out of school and sent her away to a home for unwed mothers. I can’t even believe there was such a place by that year, but apparently there was.”
Deep fortifying breaths. She didn’t look at the two men seated on either side of her, but she knew they are staring intently at her face. Could feel the thickness of the air, suddenly stifling, even though the temperature outside had been comfortable moments ago.