Zusa walked down the hallway, glaring at any guard who looked twice at her. Morning had come, yet the tension remained. It’d been a long couple years establishing Leon’s heir. With no remaining sons, illegitimate or otherwise, it’d be a terrible squabble among the scattered remnants of the Connington family. She felt anger in the guards directed at her, guards who had been treated and paid well, all potentially ending by her single thrust of a dagger through their master’s eye.
Alyssa lay on her bed, Nathaniel at her side, when Zusa stepped into the bedroom.
“Is all well?” she asked. Nathaniel glanced up at her, and she saw the exhaustion in his eyes, which were bloodshot and wet with tears. Zusa smiled at him, wishing she could lend him strength...not that she had much left to lend.
“I’ve known better days,” Alyssa said. A cloth was over her face, hiding the empty sockets. “The priests say they can do nothing. I’ve sent Terrance to find the finest glass smith in the land. I may not be able to see, but I’ll have eyes, damn it, beautiful green eyes...”
She was crying, and no squeezing of her hands by her son seemed able to stop it. Zusa felt a burden growing in her chest. She wished she could say something, do something, to make it all better. But she could perform no miracles with her daggers and cloak.
“Nathan, I need a moment with your mother,” she said. Nathaniel instinctively held his mother tighter, and Zusa smiled to show nothing was wrong. “It is no worrisome matter,” she insisted. “I just wish a few words in private.”
“You can wait outside the door,” Alyssa told him.
Nathaniel nodded, then blushed upon realizing she couldn’t see it.
“Yes, mother,” he said.
Zusa shut the door behind him, then turned back to Alyssa.
“He’s so frightened,” Alyssa said, putting a hand on her forehead. “I can’t blame him. Even with Stephen dead, he thinks the guards will turn on us at any second.”
“A wise boy to fear it,” Zusa said, sliding up beside the bed. “We should return to our own mansion whenever you are well. I would entrust your life to them no longer.”
Alyssa nodded.
“I’ll tell Terrance to make the preparations.”
Zusa sat down, and she struggled to find the proper words.
“I killed him,” she said. “Not just Stephen, but the man who ordered him. I tried to make it painful, but I didn’t have time. I had to get back to you.”
Alyssa reached out her hand, and Zusa took it, pressed it against her cheek.
“I’m sorry,” Zusa whispered. “I should have been here. I should have been faster, shouldn’t have gotten caught...”
“It’s not your fault,” Alyssa said. “I shouldn’t have been so...blind.”
She laughed, laughed even though she could hardly breathe, even though she still sniffled from her tears, which soaked into the cloth. Zusa squeezed her hand tighter, then kissed her fingertips.
“Not again,” she said. “I won’t let you ever be in danger again. I failed you before, but I swear to fix this. I swear I’ll find a way.”
“Forget me,” Alyssa said. “Nathaniel is all that matters. His role in our dealings needs increased tremendously. Every vulture will be circling. If Nathaniel is to be my heir, he needs to take it now, and show Dezrel his strength.”
“But he’s so young...”
“And he’s endured more than most have in their lifetimes. Gods help me, I’m blind, and he’s lost an arm. The vultures won’t just be circling, they’ll be pecking at our corpses.”
Another bitter laugh. Zusa hated to see her so, but she also couldn’t deny her argument. Everyone would be searching for weakness now. Potential replacements for Nathaniel would come out of the woodwork.
“I’ll kill them all,” Zusa whispered. “Any challenger, any threat. I won’t lose you, Alyssa. I don’t think I could endure it.”
Alyssa reached out, and Zusa leaned close so she could wrap her arms about her. As they embraced, Alyssa kissed her neck, then pressed her forehead against her breast.
“You can’t kill the world,” Alyssa told her. “And they must come to fear Nathaniel, not you. Just promise that if something should happen to me, you’ll raise him as your own.”
“Alyssa...”
“Promise me!”
Zusa swallowed, and it felt like nails caught in her throat.
“I promise,” she said.
Alyssa leaned back in the bed, and it looked like she relaxed for the first time since her encounter with Stephen.
“I need some rest,” she said. “Send Nathaniel in if he’s still upset.”