I made the right choice.
“It's brave of you to have given up that opportunity.”
Whatever. I wanted to say it out loud, but knew if I did, I would probably say more things I would regret later on. I had to admit, a part of me would always regret not asking the pond where my mom was instead.
I pushed it from my mind and focused my full attention on the guy in front of me. “You guys were brave for coming with me.”
“We're dragons, Elena. What kind of a Rubicon would I be if I chickened out?” Blake said with a soft smile.
“Still, it was very brave.”
He sighed. “You have much to learn.”
“So everyone tells me. Thanks for asking that dragon to give me the gift to understand Latin. I would never have been able to go through it, if it wasn't for that.”
“Tell me about it,” he mumbled, and I gave him a sarcastic smile.
“So, you guys really don't understand English when you're in your other form?” I asked. It sounded so stupid. Why didn't I just say dragon?
“No, dragon is what I am. My true colors show when he comes out. I don't have to hide the way I feel.” He lifted up the left side of his butt and took out his packet of smokes. I started to cough as he lit one.
“So you know every time when you end up hurting someone, during a claim?”
He nodded.
“You don't care?”
"It's not who I am." He released a deep breath. “I don't know how to explain it to you. A part of this form doesn't want to be a dragon and it clashes when I'm one. It's hard to explain.”
“Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” I thought out loud.
“Exactly. The only thing that we’ve ever agreed on is this mission.”
“Is it why you and Lucian are no longer friends?”
He glared at the tent where Lucian slept. His jaw muscles tensed.
Me and my big mouth.
“I knew he would tell you about us,” he grunted.
“You didn't answer my question,” I probed.
“Yes, Elena. The older I get, the more I want to be a dragon. The more I'm a dragon, the less I will stay human, which means I'll end up losing this.” He gestured at his human form. “Believe me, I did Lucian a big favor.”
“How can you say that, Blake? It's selfish to make that kind of a decision on his behalf.”
“Elena, it’s not that easy,”he growled.“I know Cheng gave you the breakdown of what I'll turn into if I'm not claimed by a certain date. That part of me grows stronger every single day. My human form can't fight this. It's just too much, and you have no idea how much it hurts when I'm forcing myself to do the opposite of what hewants.” He sound defeated, as if the dragon in him had already won.
“Will it change if Lucian claims you?”
He started to laugh. “He will never claim me.”
“He could, Blake.”
"You live in a dream world. I'll become evil, and it's something I struggle to make peace with, but sooner or later, I'll have no choice.”
“You don't have to,” I said encouragingly. “You have to fight it, Blake, don't give up.”
“You think I'm not trying. I'm seeing the Viden on a daily basis just for one ounce of hope. Just so you know, I haven't found it yet, and to be honest, every time I leave that fucking tower, I become happier. That’s not a normal reaction,” he snapped.
“She did predict your true Dragonian being born.”
He narrowed his eyes. “My Dragonian didn't get a chance to take a single breath. Goran made sure of it the night he killed them.”
“You don’t know that. What if he's born and no one knows about it? Like maybe not with Queen Catherine."
He looked at me with disgust. “Are you implying that the king committed adultery? The king loved the queen; he would never do that.”
“How do you know that?” I was adamant, ignoring his snarky comment.
“Because his dragon would have known.” He started to get annoyed with me, but I didn't care.
“Oh, and you know Sir Robert?”
“Yes, he's my father.”
I stared at him for a short while. Sir Robert is Blake’s father. The wax doll of him at the museum jumped into my head. His eyes were the same as Sammy's. I should have seen it. “Your father's the Night Villain King Albert claimed?”
“My dad knew everything about them. He would've told me if that kind of hopeexisted. There is none, Elena. I’ve got no Dragonian.”
For a second, I felt his pain and tasted his bitter defeat. It seemed that there was no hope, and Blake would eventually become evil.
“Just try to give Lucian a chance to claim you, Blake.”
His jaw muscles tightened again. “I can't. I'm already giving everything not to kill him.” He got up while flicking his cigarette butt away.