What This Wolf Wants(47)

Squeezing his eyes against that sudden, but no less certain knowledge, he waited until her breathing grew slow and deep. Zan knew how much she needed sleep, how much they both needed a few hours of peace. When she twitched beneath him as if fighting the pull, he lifted his head.

“Sleep,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re safe with me, angel. You’ll always be safe with me.”

She shuddered once and then went lax. Seconds from tumbling with her, he silently groaned and eased from her body. After staggering to the bathroom and disposing of the condom, he stumbled back to bed, tucking Jackie close to his chest, his chin on her head. With his arms banded around her waist, he felt a contentment settle in his body, in his heart. In his soul. And then sleep took him under.





Chapter Fifteen

Unfortunately, contentment was the last feeling he woke with. Still half-asleep, he stretched out an arm, searching the bedding blindly. Though the spot Jackie had lain in was still warm, she was gone.

Anger and fear had him shooting straight up. The sense of panic didn’t ease until he caught sight of her suitcase just as the squeak of the shower as it turned off reached his ears. He flopped back on the bed, calling himself every kind of idiot.

Of course she hadn’t stolen away in the night while he’d been sated and deep asleep. She might be hesitant about accepting Zan’s claim—who was he kidding? She was flat out refusing—she wasn’t one to sneak out to get away from him. She would go toe-to-toe and tell him point blank how she felt. Hadn’t she already done so? Several times in fact, taking strips of his pride every time she walked away.

Yet he still battled forth, taking a perverse pleasure in the challenge, knowing how much sweeter victory will be when he finally changed her mind. And damn. While he might have possibly-just-only-briefly thought their first time together had been an explosive fluke, last night changed that. And according to his brother, sex between mates only got better. Hotter.

But only if affection was there.

A crease formed between his brows as an unbidden memory surfaced. A conversation he’d had with his father back when he’d been a young and arrogant pup. Actually, not much older than Joe or Scott were right now. Zan couldn’t understand why his father would choose a desk job in the military when his shifter abilities could be such an asset in the field. Not to mention the excitement and adrenaline rush field work was. The sneaking, the hunting and finally, taking down one’s prey.

The high was incomparable.

His father, lounging back in his home office desk chair, had listened with quiet patience as Zan had ranted on. When Zan had finally run out of steam, Carl only appeared slightly confused. “Why would I ever want to leave when everything I’ve ever wanted, ever needed, is right in this house?”

Zan had snorted at that, unbelieving. Thinking his father was whipped. Then his father smiled, warm, confident, and not a little smug and it had made Zan pause. “Son, when you find the one you love more than your own life, want more than your next breath, your perfect mate, sharing your life with her will be the greatest adventure you will ever have.”

Zan had rolled his eyes with all the cocky derision of his youth. “Please. Nothing beats a good hunt. Taking a mate’s no big deal.”

His father had laughed. A full belly laugh that had brought tears to his eyes. “Boy, where have you been for the last fifteen years? It’s not just the initial taking, it’s the keeping. Every time I upset your mother I have to use everything I have, all my skill and persuasive abilities, to bring her around. It’s a hunt almost every damn day. And the rewards,” his father’s grin turned sly. “Well. It’s an addictive fulfillment that far surpasses any adrenaline high you’ve ever experienced in your spy games. Nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to having your true mate in your life and raising a family together.”

Zan had left shortly after, feeling a bit ragged at the edges. His father had always seemed so calm, so sure of himself. And while Zan loved his mother, he’d never understood how such a confident man could possibly be satisfied with what Zan thought was a submissive woman.

It wasn’t until then he realized he didn’t know as much as he thought he did about his adoptive parents. Evidently a lot more happened behind closed doors, and not just of the sexual kind, which he so didn’t want to even think about.

Over the years he’d become more restless. He’d taken more, harder missions, thinking the more dangerous the hunt, the more his beast would be soothed. Only it had proved the opposite. Both man and wolf had craved more, until Zan had been forced to lie to his leader about what he could and couldn’t handle. And controlling his wolf had become harder to handle.