Ronan guided her chin up until she had no choice but to meet his eyes. “There isn’t anything you can’t say to me. Ask me. For you, Naya, I’m an open book.”
For you, Naya. Did he have any idea how his words affected her? “The bite. It makes me feel so good. Is it the same for a vampire?”
A low purr vibrated in his chest and Naya swore she felt it in her pussy. The ache in the center of her core intensified until she thought she’d go mad with want. “It’s the same. For us, sex and feeding are closely tied. They’re both acts of intimacy. To take your mate’s vein—to have your vein taken by your mate—there’s no equal.”
Despair settled in Naya’s stomach like a stone. How could he ever be truly happy with her then? She wasn’t a vampire. Wouldn’t ever be a vampire. If they stayed together there would always be an essential part of their relationship that was missing.
“What are we doing, Ronan?” The words burst from her lips, unbidden. “This is ridiculous. How can we use words like ‘bond’ and ‘tether’ and ‘mate’ when we’re about as compatible as a sheep and a wolf?” Anger burned in her chest, banishing the warm glow of her arousal. “Who’s Siobhan, Ronan?”
His jaw squared as he met Naya’s gaze. “A dhampir. Leader of one of the city’s most powerful covens. And…”—he took a deep breath—“… the female Chelle and I took refuge with when we fled England. I made a blood troth to her in exchange for a codex that I gave to Mikhail. If any female save her lays claim to my body, my blood will boil and the heat of my betrayal will burn me alive.”
“We’re both promised to others for the love of the gods!” Rueful laughter bubbled in Naya’s throat. “I can’t even touch you the way I want to without the risk of you burning from the inside out?” She pushed herself away, but Ronan held on to her, refusing to let her go. Gods, he was a stubborn male. “Is that how you want to live? Without ever being able to solidify our—”She snorted. “I can’t even call what this is a relationship. Our tether? I don’t need your blood to live, Ronan! We can’t even have sex!”
Magic pooled in her cells and trickled from her pores. Ronan jerked and released his hold on her as though he’d been stung. A sob rose in her throat and Naya swallowed it as she scrambled to stand. She had to get out of there. Get away from him before she lost it.
She reached for the doorknob and turned, only to have the door slammed shut. The heat from Ronan’s chest buffeted her back. He surrounded her. Overwhelmed her. His presence sucked all of the breathable oxygen from the air and Naya’s head swam with his clean, masculine scent.
“Let me go, Ronan.”
His response was a low growl. “No.”
“I want to leave. Damn it, let me leave!”
Again, “No.”
Did he want to see her fall apart? Her world was crumbling around her and Naya would be left with nothing but ruin. “This tether is going to destroy us both. Gods, Ronan, don’t you understand? I can’t ever be what you need!”
* * *
There was no doubt that their situation was a fucking mess, but Naya was sorely mistaken if she thought he’d simply let her walk out that door and out of his life. “I thought you were a fighter, Naya.”
She bucked her chin in the air. So defiant. How could she possibly think she couldn’t be what he needed? Naya was the only thing he needed in this gods-forsaken world. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Ronan kept his palm planted firmly on the door. Naya seemed reluctant to let go of the knob. As though it were the only thing keeping her from reaching out to him. “You know what it means. You’re bailing. You’re making excuses so you don’t have to deal with this. With us.”
“There is no us, Ronan!” She pulled on the knob, desperate for an escape that he refused to give her. “There’s just you, and me, and this desperate, crazy, all-consuming want that’s destroying us both!”
“Naya.”
“No!” She released the knob to shove at his chest, but Ronan wouldn’t be moved. “I belong to Joaquin. You belong to Siobhan. You deserve to be with a female who can make you feel whole. Who can pierce your skin with her fangs. Drink from you! Do all of those things that you say are so vital. And I…” A tortured sob escaped her lips “… I have to stay here. I have an obligation to Joaquin. To Luz. To all of them.”
“Those are bullshit excuses and you know it, Naya!”