“Okay, I promise. Let’s get you back to bed.” He picked her up and carried her back into her room, while I waited in the hallway.
I will never forgive you for this, Autumn.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Zack stormed past me and out the front door. I had to sprint to keep up with his long strides. You think, for once, you can leave my mother out of your mischief?
“It’s not my fault you were being mean where your mom could hear. And by the way, our fifteen minutes doesn’t start until we’re inside my house.” I followed him down the street, a smug smile stretched over my face.
I unlocked my front door and he pushed past me. Rude.
He had the nerve to check the time on his cell. “Clock’s ticking. Let’s get this over with, huh?”
“Time out, Zack. You promised you’d be patient and respectful.” I folded my arms over my chest.
He covered his face with his hands and took measured breaths. He stood taller and rolled his shoulders. “Okay. I get the point. Talk.”
I sat on the couch, bringing my knee up, and swiveled to face him. “When Daniel and I got together, it was easy because he was a safe bet.”
“Daniel? Safe?” He gave a sarcastic laugh.
“He was popular, which gave me security. And I knew he liked me. Since I wasn’t crazy in love with him, the risk was minimal. Safe.” I glanced at my knees and noticed my old, faded T-shirt and ratty sweats. It didn’t do much to bolster my confidence, but I’d come too far to stop now. “But I don’t want safe anymore. Not if it means losing a piece of myself. If I want something, I’m going to stand up and fight for it. And so should you.”
He sighed, his eyes drifting lazily around the room.
I forged ahead, determined to break down his resistance. “I got to thinking. I couldn’t figure out how you could do everything you’ve done and not want me enough to be with me. You went all-out with the Mustang. You could’ve let me go on and on searching endlessly, but you jumped in, found me the perfect car and made the deal for me.”
Zack rolled his eyes. “It’s called a job. You were paying me.”
“Quiet. I’m not done yet.” I waved an index finger at him. “You protected me over and over again from Daniel, had me for dinner at your house, double dated with me when you didn’t have to, watched over me in the woods when you were a wolf, helped me figure out who and what I was, told me everything you knew about our kind.” I took a moment to breathe, softening my voice. “You kissed me, touched me. You did all these things like you really cared about me.”
“Autumn—”
“Shhh. I’m not done and my fifteen minutes aren’t up. I get an extra minute, by the way, because you keep interrupting. Add another minute because you’re being impatient.” I raised one brow.
He growled.
“As I was saying, all these things were going through my head while I tried to figure out how anyone could do all that and not care deeply about the person. I kept buying into your explanations, but they never completely sat right with me. Then it hit me.” I smiled. “The answer is so simple. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out before.” I paused a moment to let it sink in. “The answer is… it’s not possible. That’s the answer.”
“What?” He looked baffled.
“It’s not possible. You can’t do all that and not want me.”
He blew out his breath. “That’s what this is all about? A guy would have to be dead not to be attracted to you. That’s all there is to it.”
“And I understand that. But you’re trying to convince me that you only like me as a friend. That I don’t mean any more to you than Ashley or Maya. But I know your feelings run deeper than that. I know this like I know your kiss, the color of your eyes and hair. Denying it doesn’t change what I know. It’d be nice, though, if you admitted it.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “Keep talking. Three minutes left.”
“You think it’s easier if you leave and pretend you never felt anything and I’ll get over it. You think you’re protecting me, protecting yourself and you’re saving us both a lot of pain. But it’s not easier. Sometimes easier isn’t easier.”
“Don’t go into philosophy.” He smirked. “No one would understand you.”
“You know what I mean. It’s like when you don’t want to do your homework. You think it’s easier not to do it. But later, when you get grounded for getting an F, it’s so much harder and you wish you’d taken the time when you had the chance.”