I blushed and looked away.
“You here for Vince?” the doctor asked cheerfully, oblivious to the fact that I’d been essentially eye-fucking his patient.
“Er. Yeah,” I muttered.
“I’m Dr. Hal,” the doc said, shaking my hand.
“Paul,” I mumbled, looking down at the floor.
“He’s the guy who put me in the hospital,” Vince confided in the doctor.
“Oh!” Doc Hal said. “Well, this has got to be a bit awkward for the two of you. But it’s a nice thought that you’re coming here to check on him.”
“We knew each other before this,” Vince said, leaning back on his hands, the muscles in his stomach clenching slightly and awesomely. I shot him a scowl, but it fell from my face when I saw the bruising forming on his side, wrapping around to his back where I couldn’t see it anymore. I felt awful. “I guess he didn’t think there were any better ways to get my attention.” He grinned at me again, and I didn’t feel so awful after that.
Doc Hal frowned. “Why didn’t he just ask you out?”
Vince shrugged. “Dunno. I asked him out a few days ago, and he kind of freaked out a bit, and then he choked on spinach, so I saved his life with some Heinrich maneuvering.”
“Heimlich,” I said. “It’s Heimlich.”
“Quick thinking,” Doc Hal told him, ignoring me completely. “So he thanks you by hitting you with his car instead of going out with you? That’s odd.”
“Right? His life belongs to me now. It’s an old Japanese idea.”
“It’s Chinese!” I said indignantly.
Vince rolled his eyes. “It’s all Asia,” he said. “I want to go there some day,” he told the doc.
“Asia?” Doc Hal said, looking over Vince’s charts. “Where at in Asia?”
I could tell this confused Vince, but he just shrugged and said, “All over.” I didn’t think he understood the concept of Asia as a continent yet.
“Ah. Well, Vince, you’ve got a moderate concussion, but your CT scans were clear, so you should be right as rain in a few days or so, thanks to the fact that you were wearing a helmet. Way to protect the ol’ noggin. You’re probably going to be a bit more sore the next couple of days, so I want you to take it easy. You’ll need to stay awake for the next few hours, just to make sure no further symptoms manifest. You have a roommate who can watch over you for a while?”
He shook his head. “Live alone.”
“Parents?”
He hesitated. “Out of town for the next couple of weeks.”
“Friends?”
“No one I’d feel comfortable with.”
“Well, then, I wonder who we could get to sit up with you for a while?”
And, of course, it was obvious where it was going from there. Both Doc Hal and Vince turned to me at the same time, and I tried to count the ceiling tiles while pointedly pretending I hadn’t heard any part of the conversation.
No one said anything, and I knew it had become a contest of wills to see who would crack first, though I couldn’t figure out why Doc Hal wanted to play. Maybe he saw how uncomfortable I was, or maybe he was a secret closet romantic who thought he was doing something sweet when all I wanted to do to him was wipe that knowing smirk off his face with some brass knuckles. But then I realized I didn’t know where to buy brass knuckles, or even if those were real things anymore, so I sighed, resigned to my fate. “You guys totally planned this, didn’t you?”
Doc Hal and Vince exchanged a look I couldn’t quite place. “I don’t know what you mean,” Doc Hal said blandly. “Now, since you will be taking care of the man you injured, there are a few things you should know.”
I winced. Vince chuckled. Bastard.
“You need to keep an eye out for any symptoms such as dizziness, dilated pupils, nausea. If those start to occur, it might be a good idea for him to get back here for further tests. I’ve given him a mild painkiller, but he’ll need to stay awake for a few hours before he can sleep, so it’s up to you to keep him up.”
“I’m sure we can think of a few things,” Vince said, waggling his eyebrows.
“None of that for the next day or so,” Doc Hal admonished slightly.
Vince pouted.
“No sex,” Doc Hal told me. “I’m not releasing him to you just so you can molest him in his weakened state.”
“But… it’s….” I sputtered. “It’s not… I don’t….”
“No buts,” he said sternly, like I was trying to disagree with him.
“Wow,” Vince said. “Maybe you should hit me with your car more often. Arguing with the doctor about sex with me? That’s hot.”