Tell Me It's Real(12)

But then I saw her glance up at me with a determined look on her face and I knew I was fucked.

“She wouldn’t dare,” I said to no one in particular.

“Wouldn’t dare what?” Charlie said innocently.

“Daddy, what did she do?” I snapped at him.

He shrugged annoyingly. I looked ahead, horrified at what was about to happen. My secret shame. She wouldn’t fucking dare.

Someone handed her a microphone. “How you bitches doing tonight?” she shouted, panting slightly from all the exertion.

The crowd roared back.

She smiled beautifully. “Oh, my lovelies. You are all so wonderful.” Her face dropped into a sneer as she looked at a guy up front. “Except for you, honey,” she said with faux disdain. “You were just sad and pathetic and just sat there. Kind of like you did last night too.”

The crowd laughed. The guy she was picking on blushed and shook his head ruefully, in on the joke.

There was still time. I could still run. I just needed to—

“Oh no, you don’t,” Charlie said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me back into the seat. “You keep your ass right where it is until you are told otherwise.”

“But, Daddy,” I said, my whine coming from a panicky place. It did not sound cute at all.

“But, pretty boys and voluptuous girls,” Helena said, “there is one thing left before we clear to dance our asses off for the rest of the night. Isn’t that right, Charlie?”

“That’s right, Helena,” he said, pulling the microphone out of thin air, still holding me back. Every single goddamn person in the room turned to look up at us. Including Mr. Yes Please. I tried not to look at him. “One thing left, though you might want to hurry because he’s starting to get a bit… fidgety.”

“Oooooh,” Helena moaned into the mike, playing it up. “Just the way I like him.” She licked the microphone and the crowd hooted at her. “Boys and girls,” she said, “today is a very, very special day. Do you see that delicious hunk of man sitting next to Charlie up there? That is my very best friend in all the world. And do you know what today is?” She grinned up at me, all teeth.

“Oh, you skank,” I mumbled. Mr. Yes Please was staring at me again, a serious look in his eyes, Eric seemingly forgotten. I blushed even further as another spotlight turned on me. It was bright. I was sweating and turning red. So not attractive.

“It’s his thirtieth birthday!” Helena shouted. “Paul, get your hot ass down here!”

The crowd started cheering, really only because Helena told them to. Or maybe they were just that damn excited about my life being totally and completely over, given that I was now the oldest thing in the world. I thought again about making a run for it—screw Mr. Yes Please; he wouldn’t want a geriatric specimen such as me, anyway—but even before I could get to my feet and hightail it the fuck out, Charlie grabbed my arm. “Oh no, you don’t,” he growled at me in the deep, manly man voice of his. “Helena went to a lot of work to keep this secret, and I’m not going to let that go to waste. I’m getting pretty tired of seeing you standing in the shadows, boy. You deserve to be up in front of everyone so they can all see the real you.”

“Now you’re after-school-specialing all over my face,” I said weakly, still hearing the cheers from below.

He chuckled. “Once upon a time that may have been so, but I’m just an old fart now.” But then his gaze grew steely and I shivered a bit. “However,” he said grimly, “I’m not too old to put you over my lap to give you the spanking you deserve if you don’t get your butt down there now.” And as if on cue, two shirtless barbacks appeared (thankfully, neither were Eric; I’m pretty sure he wanted to scratch my eyes out). They grinned down at me with grins that almost made me think I was about to get a hand job, but instead they grabbed me by the arms. I gave a very unmanly squawk as I was pulled down the stairs, Charlie calling after me that I’d better be a good boy or I’d answer to him later.

Before I knew it, I was down the stairs and out into the crowd, which parted in front of me as if commanded. Everyone was still clapping and hollering at me, and I couldn’t help but think I was about to be sacrificed so all the gays could keep their ethereal beauty. I realized I’d probably seen Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom one too many times when I saw Helena standing on the stage, and I expected her to reach for my heart and start chanting, “Kali-maaaaa! Kali-maaaaaa!”

But that was all completely forgotten for one brief, shining moment when I saw him.