“Jenney and the kids are sleeping together in one of the upstairs rooms. We could join them, there are enough beds up there.”
“Fine, let’s do that.”
We left the ballroom and walked up the main staircase. I felt like I hardly had the energy to reach the top—every single part of my body felt like it wanted to give up, to just slump on the marble floor and let someone else take over for a while.
When we reached the kids’ room, I could hear laughter coming from inside—the sound of the kids squealing, and Benedict arguing with Yelena.
I stopped at the door, holding it shut when Ruby tried to open it.
“I can’t,” I replied. “I need to be somewhere quiet. I’ll see you later.” I started walking off when Ruby grabbed my arm.
“Ash, wait. What’s wrong? I mean aside from Queen Trina escaping. Something else is bugging you. What is it?”
“I’m just in a bad mood, that’s all,” I replied, removing my arm from her grasp.
“Don’t be like this,” she said. “Just tell me what’s wrong—I can’t help otherwise.”
“You can’t help me anyway!” I exclaimed. “I feel completely useless—I have no idea what to do, everything feels like it’s totally and utterly out of my control, the guards have absolutely no faith in me, and right now it feels like you don’t either!”
She looked stung, her eyes widening with shock at my revelation.
“That’s totally not true!”
“Shortie, come on—what about Queen Trina? Apparently, you knew she would escape, and I thought we had her secured till we could get some answers!”
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” she replied sullenly. “I believe you can do this. You know I do—I always have.”
I stayed silent, not knowing what else to say. I was handling this all wrong, and I knew it. Yet again, Ruby and I were arguing when I didn’t want us to be, creating more distance between us, which, considering we couldn’t get intimate, was an idiotic thing to do.
“Come on,” Ruby announced, dragging me along the corridor by my robe.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere quiet. That’s what you wanted, right?”
I followed her in silence, wondering where in Nevertide she was taking me. At the end of the corridor she pushed open one of the doors, revealing a small box-shaped room that was completely empty apart from a small window, a dilapidated-looking chair and a wood burner.
“Wait here,” she instructed, storming back out again.
I leaned against the wall, not really seeing any other option.
She came back a moment later, carrying a blanket and two pillows, all strongly smelling of damp.
“This is all I could find. It will have to do.”
I nodded, watching as she laid the blanket on the floor and arranged the pillows at one end. Then she turned toward the wood burner, tapping her foot in agitation as she looked around for some wood.
I walked toward the chair and started to break it up best I could.
“I feel bad,” Ruby said, watching me destroy the furniture.
“Don’t,” I replied. “Another year and it would have rotted away to nothing anyway.” I shoved the wood into the stove and lit it by scraping a piece of flint up the side of the stove. Soon the wood caught light, and I sat back on the blanket, feeling mildly satisfied for the first time that day.
Ruby came and sat down next to me, just out of reach.
“I’m sorry,” she stated, looking down at her fingers. “I didn’t mean to doubt you. I’m just frightened, and I’m not handling it very well. Forgive me?”
“Already have.” I smiled. “And you don’t need to say sorry. I’m being an idiot. I’m just frustrated, about a million things, and one of those things is us…you—all the things we can’t do because…well, you know.”
Ruby’s cheeks turned bright pink, and I scratched the back of my head, feeling the same heat rising over my own face.
“This is awkward,” I muttered. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
Ruby took a deep breath and exhaled. Her fingers reached across the blanket, entwining with mine.
“I actually had a thought about that,” she breathed, “I thought we could try something…”
I looked at her quizzically, not understanding what she meant.
“I want you to mind-meld with me, syphon off me,” she replied.
I grinned at her, understanding that she wanted intimacy, and if a mind-meld was all that was available to us, then I was more than happy to do as she asked. I reached out for her, delving into her mind and finding her energy bright and pure, waiting for me. I sighed, instantly drinking in its power and hazy comfort.