“So, we need to find a way to weaken or trap him,” Layla suggested. “There has to be something.”
“There is,” Roth said. “I know of one thing that can take down an archangel.”
My gaze shifted to him. “What is it? Another archangel? Obviously none of them want to get involved. My father didn’t even—” I pressed my lips together, wincing as my jaw ached. “They’re not stepping in. It’s up to me.”
“I’m not talking about any of those self-righteous and seriously unhelpful bastards who created their own little homegrown terrorist.” His amber eyes glowed. “I’m talking about the one being who’d love nothing more than to take down one of his brethren.”
Layla twisted at her waist, understanding creeping into her pale face. “You can’t be thinking what I’m thinking you’re thinking.”
“I’m not just thinking it,” he said. “I’m planning it, shortie.”
“Lucifer,” I whispered. “You’re talking about Lucifer.”
“Holy gumdrops,” Peanut whispered.
Roth’s smile was pure violence. “I’m not just talking about Lucifer. I’m talking about releasing him. All we have to do is convince him, and I don’t think that’ll be hard.”
“But he can’t walk Earth in his true form,” Layla reasoned as I eased back against the pillow. “If he does, it forces the biblical Apocalypse into play. God would never allow it.”
“Call me crazy, but I doubt God is okay with Gabriel attempting to give Heaven an STD,” Roth argued. “If Heaven closes its gates, no souls can enter. Those who die will be trapped on Earth. They will either turn wraith or, worse yet, be dragged into Hell and corrupted. Beyond that, there’d be no point in anything. Life would essentially cease upon death. And death will happen at a rate we’ve never seen before, because with the angels locked away, there’s nothing stopping demons except Wardens. Earth would become Hell.”
Gabriel had said as much.
“But why would Lucifer want to stop that?” Layla demanded. “Sounds like a great time for him.”
“Because it’s not his idea,” Roth said. “If Gabriel and Bael succeed? His ego will take a blow I’m not sure he could survive. There’s only space for one Hell and one ruler of Hell. His throne room is lined with the heads of demons who thought they could take over.”
Was it disturbing that I sort of wanted to see his throne room?
Probably.
“So, we’re stuck between one possible Armageddon and another possible Armageddon?” Layla sat back.
“Pretty much.” He nodded. “Either we sit back and wait until Earth goes to Hell—”
“Or we bring Hell to Earth,” she finished. “You think you can convince him?”
“Pretty confident.” He rubbed his fingers under his chin. “I just need to talk to him and hope he’s in a good mood.”
Layla laughed, but it was that slightly crazed-sounding kind of laugh.
“Do it,” I said, spine straightening even though it caused immense pain. Bambi lifted her head, eyeing me like she didn’t think sitting up was a wise idea. “Talk to Lucifer. Convince him. But there’s something else I want.”
“Anything,” Roth swore, and I doubted that was something he did a lot. Perfect.
“I want Zayne,” I said.
“Trinity,” Layla whispered. “He’s—”
“I know where he is. I know that he’s gone. I want him back.” My heart started pounding, Zayne’s voice so painfully real in my thoughts that I sucked in a sharp, brittle breath. There’d be nothing that would stop me. “I will get him back.”
Roth came to the bed and sat. His familiar wiggled on the other side of me. “Trinity, if I could do that, I would. I would do it for both of you. I swear it, but I cannot. No one—”
“Not true.” I met his amber gaze. “Grim can. And before I do a damn thing for my father or for the human race, I want Zayne. I want him back, alive, and I don’t care how selfish that makes me, but he deserves to be here, with me.” My voice cracked, and Roth lowered his gaze. “I deserve that, and the damn Grim Reaper will give him back to me. Tell me where to find him or how to reach him.”
Layla closed her eyes for a long moment and then she asked, “Have you seen him since you woke up?”
“No.”
“Does that mean he’s crossed over?” she asked.
“It could mean that,” I answered. “But Zayne said even death wouldn’t stop him. He wouldn’t have crossed over.”
You know that’s not always true, whispered a stupid voice of reason.
People died unexpectedly all the time—people who still had plans and loved ones. While alive, people fully believed they’d come back if they could, but most of the time people changed when they entered the light. Their desires and needs remained, but they crossed into the great beyond, and whatever that was reshaped them.
But Zayne hadn’t come back, even as a spirit, and I fully believed that if he had crossed over, he would have, even if it was to make sure I was okay.
“But what if he has crossed over,” Layla said quietly. “What if he’s found peace? Happiness?”
My gaze sharpened on her as my chest hollowed.
“What if he’s really okay? And he’s waiting for you when it’s your time.” Tears filled her eyes. “Is it okay to take him from that?”
No.
Yes.
A knot lodged in the back of my throat. What if he was at—No. I couldn’t let myself think that. I wanted him back too much. I couldn’t do this without him. I just couldn’t.
“He would want to come back to me,” I said. “I don’t think he’s crossed over.” The knot expanded, pushing out painful words. “I never got to tell him I love him. I should’ve told him that, but I didn’t and his last words to me were that it was okay—” My voice cracked as I clamped my mouth shut. It took several seconds before I could speak again. “I will get him back.”
“Trin,” Peanut whispered, and I looked over at him. “Think about what you’re saying. About what you’re planning to do.”
“I have thought about this,” I told him and then looked to Roth. “It’s all I have thought about. I know what it means.”
It wouldn’t be easy.
It would be damn near impossible, and I had no idea if Zayne would return to me as a Warden or as my Protector, but that would be a bridge we’d cross together.
Because I would succeed. Gabriel had been wrong. Rage and ruin had not corrupted me. They powered me. I would do anything, give up anything, to make Zayne’s return happen. Anything. Because we’d promised each other forever, and we would have that, one way or another.
Slowly, Roth lifted his gaze to mine and then, after an eternity, he nodded. “I will tell you how to find him.”
And he did.
43
It was a surprisingly cool day for July as I walked the worn dirt path of Rock Creek Park, thick clouds shielding the glare of the evening sun. Sunglasses were still perched on my nose, but I wouldn’t need them much longer. Night was about to fall.
Two days had passed since I’d woken up, and each step I took was still painful and stiff, but the fact that I was able to walk after having nearly every bone in my body broken only a handful of days ago was nothing short of a miracle.
So was the fact that I’d been able to escape Layla and Roth, who seemed to have moved in to the apartment, and the never-ending flow of Wardens. They’d been updated by either Roth or Layla, and whenever any of them were there, the somberness was as heavy and suffocating as a coarse blanket.
Everyone was still in shock. Everyone was still grieving the loss of...Zayne. And I think all of them were worried Gabriel might make a grab for me. While I was recovering, it would be as easy as him walking into the apartment and picking me up.
But even if I were fully healed, it wouldn’t be much harder.
Swallowing a sigh, I shuffled along as people jogged past, their sneakers kicking up puffs of dirt. The only reason I’d been able to sneak out was because Roth and Layla had left to speak to Lucifer, leaving Cayman in charge of watching me.
Within five minutes, the demon had seemingly passed out on the couch, but as I’d snuck out, I’d wondered if he was really asleep, or if he was giving me a chance to escape.
I needed to get out of the apartment, away from the wintermint smell that lingered in the bathroom and on the pillowcases I refused to change. I needed to see the real stars, and not the ones on my ceiling—the ones that belonged to Zayne. I needed fresh air, and I needed to get my sore muscles and bones in working order, because sooner rather than later, Gabriel would come for me, and I planned on putting up a fight with or without the aid of one very scary, very powerful evil archangel.
So, I’d pulled on my big-girl pants, ordered an Uber and almost gotten into the wrong car, but I made it to the park by myself. I did it, and God, that felt like a big step.
I kept walking and came upon the bench where Zayne and I had sat the day I’d gone to the coven with Roth. Chest heavy and aching, I made my way to it and took a seat, wincing as my tailbone protested the action. For some reason, the sucker hurt more than anything else.