“It didn’t freak you out that she could see you?”
“Did it freak me out when I knew you could see me?”
I lowered the shirt I’d picked up. “Uh, yes. You screamed like a banshee.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Peanut giggled. “I did.”
Shaking my head, I balled up the shirt and tossed it into the luggage. “So, which apartment is she in?”
“Why do you want to know that?”
“Because I’d like to meet her.”
“I don’t want you to meet her.”
“What?” I was sort of offended.
“Because you’d probably freak her out, and she’s got enough to deal with.”
I leaned against the foot of the bed. “What does she have to deal with? Homework and parents?”
“You have no idea.”
My gaze sharpened on him. “Then tell me.”
“Things are...complicated with her and her family.” He flopped onto his back and sank halfway through the floor. “And that’s all I can say.”
I frowned down at him. “Why can’t you say more?”
“Because I promised the little dudette that I wouldn’t talk to anyone about that stuff,” he said. “And I keep my promises.”
“But I’m not just anyone,” I reasoned. “I’m—Dammit!”
Peanut had sunk completely through the floor, and I knew he wasn’t coming back for a while.
The fact he wouldn’t tell me anything about the girl or her family was concerning. I re-added finding out more about her to the list for the third time, worried that either something bad was happening to her, or she was doing something she shouldn’t be.
* * *
The moment I heard the front door open, I sprang off the bed. It was late. Like night had fallen kind of late. I hadn’t expected Zayne to be gone this long.
Moving around the suitcase I’d finally managed to pack, with the exception of clothes for the next couple days, I told myself not to go out there, because it would look like I’d been waiting for him. Which I had been.
I curled my fingers around the cool door knob.
But I had questions.
Like, what had they done? Did they share a romantic candlelight dinner between friends? Did they catch a movie afterward, or go for a walk? Or back to Stacey’s place? Because it was close to eleven, so there was no way they just ate dinner. Did they spend hours catching up or making out? I hadn’t felt anything...weird through the bond, but that didn’t mean anything, since distance weakened it. And even though Zayne insisted they were only friends, Stacey was really pretty, and they had hooked up in the past. There was some level of attraction there, physical and emotional, and Zayne hadn’t...
He couldn’t be with me.
He probably didn’t even want to be with me now.
My stomach twisted in knots. I needed to play it cool. I told myself that as I whipped open the bedroom door so hard that I nearly pulled it off its hinges.
So much for playing it cool.
My narrow vision swept over the living room, stopping on the blurry form of Zayne. He was standing behind the couch as if he’d stopped there abruptly.
He stared at me.
I stared back, and the silence stretched between us until I couldn’t take it any longer. “Hi.”
Zayne was too far away for me to tell if he smiled, but it sounded like there was one when he spoke. “Hey.”
Resisting the urge to wave at him like a doofus, I clasped my hands together. “You’re back.”
“I am.” He took a step forward and then another. “I wasn’t sure if you’d still be awake.”
And waiting up for him? I cringed. Was it that obvious? “I was just getting ready to sleep and I was thirsty.”
That was a total lie, but at least I was in my pajamas.
I stepped out of the bedroom, telling myself to just walk to the fridge, grab a bottle of water and then head back.
That’s not what I did.
“Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah,” he said, and then there was a pause. “I guess.”
“You guess?” I crossed my arms. “You were out pretty late, so I would think you did have a good time.”
He tilted his head. “It’s not that late.”
“So...” I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “What did you guys do?”
Zayne leaned against the couch, clasping the back of it with his hands. “We went to dinner and then went down to the mall. We just walked around and talked.”
Irritation flared to life, and I tried to stamp it down, but I wanted to walk the mall with Zayne and do nothing but talk and laugh like normal people, like we’d planned to before everything had gone to Hell.
I needed to get a drink and go to bed. That’s what I really needed to do.
So, instead of doing that and keeping my mouth shut, I said, “Sounds like a lovely date.”
Zayne’s back straightened. “Date?”
I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. “I mean, I haven’t been on many.” Or any at all, but whatever. “But that’s what it sounds like to me.”
“It wasn’t a date, Trin. I told you that. It’s not like that between Stacey and I, not anymore.”
“It’s not?” Irritation was giving way to anger—and jealousy. And oh God, I needed to get control, because it wasn’t like that between us, either. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t care, anyway.”
“Seems like you care an awful a lot.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so. You’re jealous.”
I opened my mouth as heat flooded my cheeks. I could not believe he’d called me out. “I’m not—”
“Don’t even say you’re not. I can feel it.” He shook his head as he pushed off the couch. “You know, I can’t believe you actually think tonight was anything like a date.”
My back straightened. “Why wouldn’t I think that? You’re single. So is she. You two have a history. Don’t get why you think it’s such a crazy conclusion to come to.”
“You don’t?” He took another step toward me, and his features became less of a blur. He was definitely frowning. “Do you really think, after everything that’s happened between you and I, I’d go out on a date with someone else?”
Slowly, I unfolded my arms. “What happened between us doesn’t matter.”
His brows shot up. “It doesn’t?”
I shook my head, even though that was yet another lie, because what happened between us did matter.
It would always matter.
“It can’t,” I said, finally speaking the truth.
Lips curling in a cruel grimace of a smile, he shook his head as he looked away. “I don’t know who you think I am, and Hell if I want to know, but let me tell you something, Trin.” His gaze came back to mine. “There is no way in Hell I’d be out there screwing around just because I can’t have the person I want.”
My breath caught.
Zayne was now just a foot from me. “Maybe some people work like that, but not me. You should know that.”
I should.
Part of me totally did, deep down—the logical part of me I rarely listened to. The same part of me that had apparently left me hanging at the moment.
“And if you think I’m capable of doing anything with anyone, then you obviously haven’t been paying attention.”
Swallowing hard, I took a step back from him and then another.
“You drive me crazy,” he said, eyes narrowing. “Looking at you right now, I can tell there’s still a part of you that has no idea.”
“I—”
That’s all I got out. Zayne moved so fast I couldn’t even track him, probably wouldn’t have been able to even if I had good eyes. He was there, and suddenly his hands were at my waist. He lifted me up, and within a heartbeat my back was pressed to the cool cement wall.
Then his mouth crashed into mine and there was nothing slow or tentative about this kiss—about the way his lips moved against mine—and my lips parted for him. The sound he made heated my skin, and I just reacted in the way I’d been wanting to, needing to. I kissed him back. And the kiss was...oh God, it was everything, because I didn’t want soft or questioning. I wanted this. Hard. Fast. Raw. He kissed me as if he were drowning and I was air, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever been kissed like this. Not even by him. I didn’t even know you could be kissed like this.
“Sorry,” he said. “I forgot kissing was off-limits.”
I had no words.
“Just because I’m not supposed to want you, doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wanting you,” he said. “Just because what I feel for you physically isn’t supposed to mean something more, doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wanting you. That hasn’t changed.”
His words were a startling mix of warmth and coldness as his mouth found mine again. I’d wanted to hear him say that. Needed it, because it felt good and warm and right. But his words also brought a shock of cold reality with them.
He wasn’t supposed to be doing this.
Neither was I.
All of this felt like more.
“You want this?” he said, voice thick. “That hasn’t changed?”
“No,” I admitted. “Never.”
His mouth was on mine again, his kisses like long sips of water, and I wanted more. I wanted too much. Breaking the kiss, I tipped my head back against the wall as my heart pounded. “The rules...”