His gaze sharpened on me.
“He wanted me to help get Bambi back, and I thought it would be a good chance to try to get more information out of them,” I continued, hands clenching into fists. “I killed that witch, Faye. So, yeah, we’re both great at lying about the important stuff, right? We’re both hypocrites. Does that make you feel better, knowing that? It should. Now that you know what I’m capable of, you should be thrilled I drew that line.”
He stared at me. “You’re wrong. I’m better at keeping things a secret than you.”
“Is that so?” I challenged.
“I knew about Roth and the coven,” he said, effectively blowing my mind and the smugness right out of me. “I knew that he asked you to help. And I know that you didn’t want to kill her or any of them. I also know that you didn’t kill that witch until she went after Bambi and the Crone told you to.”
“Well,” I said, and that was all I could say.
“Roth called me after he dropped you off.”
My jaw was on the ground. That demonic SOB had told me not to tell Zayne!
“He didn’t think it wise for you to be out there by yourself,” he continued, and I about fell flat on my back. “I was just waiting for you to tell me, and I guess you have.”
I had nothing to say.
“There it is. The expression on your face I was waiting for when the hypocrisy turned right back around on you. Too bad it’s not as enjoyable as I thought it would be,” he said. “And you know what? I should be in there with Stacey, because that’s what a friend does. Instead, I’m out here with you.”
The sting returned, mixing with the burn. “I didn’t tell you to come out here.”
Zayne shook his head as he dragged his lower lip between his teeth. “Do you know your way back to the apartment?”
“I can figure—”
“Do you or do you not know your way back to the apartment, Trinity? Do you even have any apps downloaded on your phone to help you? Can you see those street signs? Did you pay attention when Sam led you here?” When I didn’t answer—when I couldn’t answer—he said, “It’s not like I can just let you roam around, so whether or not you want me here or I want to be here, this is where I am.”
The burn and sting became a knot I could barely swallow. All my anger pulsed, dissipated, returned as something entirely new. My chest ached, but my skin burned with embarrassment and my shoulders slumped under the sudden weight as I stared at the pebbled alley floor.
Burden.
That’s what that weight was. A burden of duty, and a burden of having to be aided. Zayne was right. I didn’t even have Google Maps on my phone. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to read the stupid directions if I did. He knew that, and he was here because of that and because he was my bonded Protector.
Not because I was a friend in need.
Not because this was where he wanted or needed to be.
And that was a world of difference. Even if things hadn’t gotten so complicated between us, this situation right here would’ve probably still happened.
“I want to go back to the apartment,” I said, feeling so very heavy. “I would like that.”
“Of course.” His voice was flat. “It’s your world, Trinity.”
It’s your world.
Hadn’t Misha said something similar? I turned toward the street, squinting behind my sunglasses. “I can do an Uber if you—um, if you help me with seeing the app and...” Heat flowed over my cheeks. “And help me with the car when it gets here. I can’t see license plates, and some makes—”
“Got it,” he clipped out, and when I looked over my shoulder, he already had his phone out. No more than a few seconds later, he announced, “The car will be here in less than ten minutes.”
And that was all he said.
28
About two years ago, Misha and I got into this huge fight. Jada and Ty and several other Wardens were leaving the Community to spend a day in one of the nearby towns and Outback cheese fries were involved, so of course, I wanted to go with them. Thierry refused my request due to some inane reason and, knowing my penchant for not listening to his orders, he went as far as stationing spare Wardens at all the possible exits of the house. Misha had told me he wasn’t going and would be working on something with Thierry. He’d lied and gone with the group, and while coming to find out that lie wasn’t his biggest crime, it had been world ending to me then. I knew that my anger and upset had everything to do with me feeling left out and like life was generally unfair, but Misha had still lied instead of just fessing up to the fact that he’d wanted to go with everyone. I would’ve still been jealous, but I wouldn’t have said anything other than have fun. We were both at fault, even though I shouldered most of the blame; we yelled and shouted at each other before retreating to our respective rooms, slamming the doors shut. The following morning we had to train, and I wanted to apologize but was still too angry and hurt to cross that bridge, so the entire session was incredibly awkward and conversation stilted throughout the remaining day.
That was a lot like how tonight was going with Zayne.
He hadn’t come back to the apartment until it was almost time to leave, and all he said as he passed me in the living room was that he thought it would be a good idea to check out the area that surrounded the high school.
We’d probably exchanged three complete sentences since then, which wasn’t exactly different than the past several days.
So, fun times.
As we walked along the rain-drenched sidewalks toward Heights on the Hill, which was what the school was called, I felt a lot like I had with Misha following our argument, but unlike earlier, when I couldn’t figure out why I was being such a coward, I thought I might have figured it out now. And I wanted to apologize. I was mouthy and confrontational on a good day and didn’t back down from a fight, but I absolutely loathed conflict with someone I cared about. The problem was, like with Misha that day, I was still furious and hurt and about a million miles away from being ready to apologize.
But I wasn’t completely to blame.
I could understand, now that I’d had time to dwell obsessively over what had happened, why he hadn’t told me he was meeting Stacey. He’d felt my emotions when Stacey had come over, and he’d seen through my questions about her. He probably wanted to avoid hurting the feelings he sensed in me or avoid them in general. But that didn’t mean he shouldn’t have been honest, same as with Misha. Honesty would’ve sucked in the moment, but would have been far easier to deal with than uncovering a lie designed to cover a hurt. Contrary to what Zayne believed, his lie was nothing like me not telling him about what had appeared to be a random spirit in his apartment.
No one could convince me otherwise.
And the fact that he’d known about what had happened with the coven this entire time? I couldn’t be mad at him for not saying anything, because I had kept that from him, but I didn’t understand why he hadn’t confronted me. Had he really just been waiting for me to tell him?
I doubted he was happy now that I had.
Lightning streaked across the night sky, a jagged arc of light that lit up Zayne’s stoic profile. His hair was pulled back, all except those shorter strands. They were tucked behind his ears.
The one time I would’ve appreciated him being dishonest would’ve been when he’d told me that he’d rather be with a friend than dealing with me.
Than helping me.
That, he could’ve kept to himself.
“You want to say something.” Zayne shattered the silence. “Just say it.”
I jerked my gaze from him, flushing at being caught staring. “I have nothing to say.”
“You sure about that, Trin?”
Trin.
At least we were back to nicknames and not formal names. “Yep.”
He didn’t respond.
“Do you have something you want to say, Zayne?” I didn’t even try to keep the snideness out of my tone.
“Nope.”
Thunder cracked like the blast of a cannon aimed at the Heavens. The pounding rain had stopped about an hour ago, but another storm was coming in. Getting soaked and possibly electrocuted would be a fine way to wrap up today.
Definitely not seeing any stars tonight.
“I wonder what happens when Wardens are hit by lightning?” I walked ahead of Zayne to an intersection.
“Probably the same thing that happens to a Trueborn.”
I rolled my eyes, making sure there were no cars coming before I crossed. Not like I was about to repeat earlier. I started forward, my steps clunky as I reached the curb before I thought I would. I really hoped Zayne hadn’t seen that, because God knows, I wouldn’t want him—
“Trin?”
“What?” I snapped.
“Are you going to the high school with me or someplace else?” he asked, amusement dripping from his tone like thick honey. “I’m just curious, since you seem to have other plans in mind.”
Stopping halfway across the street, I sucked in a breath and did everything in my power to keep myself from screaming. I pivoted and found that Zayne had hung a left at the intersection. Stalking my way back to the sidewalk, I all but power walked past him, noticing the sidewalk was no longer following a flat course but a rather steep incline. A deep, rumbling chuckle came from behind me.